Anon has a mommy gf | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG 04/21/18(Sat) 20:07:02 No.44848808 >be me >have a "mommy" gf >waiting for therapist appointment >be with "mommy" >girl sits next to me >she genuinely looks like a prostitute >she starts to flirt with >"mommy" grabs me I can feel her breasts >she tells the slut to go away and says that I'm her cutie sweet heart I love having a mommy gf

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon tells a joke | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 171 KB JPG 04/20/23(Thu)16:59:50 No.897914993 I hate Reddit, but if I cared enough to use it I would post this to the /r/jokes subreddit: What do you call it when King Charles III flushes the toilet? A royal flush. : Anonymous >>897914993 (OP) # >f----- claims to hate reddit >posts the most reddit sounding joke like he's never ever been on the site Go back, f-----. 04/20/23(Thu)17:01:30 No.897915057 : Anonymous >>897914993 (OP) # What was Queen Elizabeth's favorite type of bee? A QUEEEN bee, bahahahahahaha!! 04/20/23(Thu)17:04:09 No.897915151 : Anonymous >>897914993 (OP) # so many medals and badges 04/20/23(Thu)17:04:29 No.897915162 >>897915328 # : Anonymous >>897914993 (OP) # That's a good one anon. I got 3 jokes you say in a row that will almost always make someone laugh. 04/20/23(Thu)17:06:50 No.897915241 Why are pirates called pirates? Because they ARRRH What's a pirates favorite food? ARRRRtichoke What is the pirates favorite letter? (this is when it gets good, they will immediately say R? but that's when you hit them with) Nay the C be the one for me.

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The Internet wrecks Anon | /r/Greentext

>be white british >talking to americans on voice chat for years 126 KB JPG >subconsciously start doing some hybrid american/british accent >its started coming out in real life >start saying "dude" and pronouncing other words in my hybrid british/american accent >go to the doctor for something unrelated >in passing conversation he asks me how long i have been in the country >w-- >tell him i was born here and have been here my whole life >he says he thought i was canadian because of my accent the internet has ruined me

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Anon provides comfort to a grieving family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/15/20(Sun)10:06:11 No.60926043 File: EA90511F-7021-46AD-B37F-A(..).png (170 KB, 349x300) EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHTS I.EAT MY OWN C-- >>60925869 F--- it might as well tell you all >work at funeral agency >have to meet up with the family to plan out the funeral >policy at work is to keep an understanding tone and not smile too much >suddenly get overcome by the knowledge of pic related. >my friend showed me this image a week ago and ever since then it has been appearing in my mind >I try my best not to smile >make it through the entire meeting without smiling while the image haunts me >at the end of the meeting youre supposed to say something inspirational and uplifting to the family >I want to say "even on the coldest nights, the warmth of our loved ones will let us see the dawn once more >"even on the coldest nights, i eat my own c--"

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Anon tells it how it really is. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/20(Mon)15:59:11 No.508602648 38 KB JPG If trans women demand representation, it means women don't represent them. They don't even see themselves as women >>508603564 # >>508603848 # >>508603980 # >>508604082 # >>508604123 # >>508604141 # >>508604148 # >>508604187 # >>508604240 # >>508604265 # >>508604443 # >>508604450 # >>508604532 # >>508604637 # >>508604702 # >>508604805 # >>508604814 # >>508604820 # >>508604843 # >>508604875 # >>508604935 # >>508604981 # >>508604994 # >>508605167 # >>508605317 # >>508605414 # >>508605416 # >>508605429 # >>508605542 # >>508605645 # >>508605653 # >>508605683 # >>508605704 # >>508605767 # >>508605906 # >>508605923 # >>508605949 # >>508606020 # >>508606116 # >>508606203 # >>508606223 # >>508606232 # >>508606353 # >>508606475 # >>508606545 # >>508606558 # >>508606614 # >>508606650 # >>508606668 # >>508606771 # >>508606796 # >>508606891 # >>508606928 #

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Korean incel loses it completely (I hope this is bait bc holy fuck) | /r/Greentext

Anonymous KOREA RULES 04/20/23(Thu)16:04:34 No.73026198 >be Korean >sit in subway >lock eyes with a white single mom with her baby >can see the lust in her eyes >she looks at her baby in disgust >I can see she wishes she gave birth to a half-Korean baby instead of the subhuman she has right 418 KB JPG now >we look at each other again >she whispers quietly "kill my baby and breed me" Why are white women like this? They hate their children and want to replace them with half-Korean kids. I noticed these same thing Latina and Black women too. Why are we so superior bros?

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Anon experiences problems finding a decent femanon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Marie t'es dans la merde la 1 Marie Marie Marie.... 611 KB PNG 04/20/23(Thu)06:25:26 No.73024973 Being a blackbot ruins your dating prospects. Contrary to popular belief, your options are limited to: >single mom black chicks (mostly ugly) >cute but crazy young white girls who want you to behave like an abusive thug towards them >older white milfs who cant have kids anymore >weird cuckold couples >overly spicy and sassy Latinas

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Anon summarizes the KANG situation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/19/23(Wed)19:12:48 No.183234885 ► >>183234984>>183235181 >>183235229 >>183235895 >>183236866 >>183247912 >>183253267 >>183254081 File: 65367576f6.png (329 KB, 736x960) So if I'm getting this right >new black actor starts appearing in Hollywood movies >celebrated across the media as a new star who will provide some much-needed diversity >stars in superhero movies as a villain named Kang >there's a scene of him dressed as a Pharaoh >suddenly it's revealed he is a violent criminal who beats the s--- out of women and ritually abused people in college >has to be cancelled right after beginning his career This is like a story that someone would write to make black people look bad but it's actually real

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anon reminisces | /r/Greentext

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Anon describes life in India | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kj0/QnWP When you find the designated s------- street runny.co 21 KB JPG 05/26/17 (Fri)03:38:45 No.127169489 >be indian >wake up to screams of women being gang r---- >pray to blue two headed rhino god >no shower so bathe in the s--- filled river >almost choke on child's spinal column >ride on roof of victorian train to the call /scam center >"Hello this is pajeeet from scamsoft we need to protect your com-*click* >creepily hit on white women on facebook during breaktime >walking home >need to take a s--- for the 35th time that day >squat over a dying orphan who happened to be in the way >wipe anus with hand >eat rice grown from s--- water from a giant communal bowl >use hands like a chimp >time for bed >crawl up in a pile of straw, pray to 5 armed lobster- woman god for allowing me to live in the greatest country on earth BUMP (ID: RzY+2Qpd >>127169489 (OP) # That's why smart people like me leave this s------- behind, here I come USA. 05/26/17 (Fri)03:41:00 No.127169633

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“because of anime” | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous Anime Vacations 142 KB JPG 04/08/23(Sat)16:41:03 No.251077570 >went to Venice because of anime >it was nothing like the anime >everything smelled Why didn't you warn me? More ideas for anime vacations. : Anonymous >went to Mars because of Aria >the atmosphere was terrible and nothing like the anime >I suffocated >>251085691 # >>251088037 # 04/08/23(Sat)16:42:13 No.251077611

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Anon watches John Wick | /r/Greentext

File: yeah.jpg (29 KB, 1280x720) Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)00:16:19 No.182209293 >>182209331 >be me >seeing John Wick 4 in theater >quick shot of of a dog peeing on a bad guy after he's dead >some guy a few rows behind me screams I LIKE PISS Am I retarded or is he? Anonymous 03/26/23(Sun)00:17:19 No. 182209331 ► >>182209293 (OP) You are, unless you went back and p----- om him right there

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Anon visits the eating area. | /r/Greentext

>live in dorm with 8 people to a kitchen >come out to kitchen, spaghetti everywhere, on floor, counters, walls, in sink and on stove >guy comes out "sorry about that, you know how it is with spaghetti" no i don't

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