anon is confused | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 12/19/21(Sun)22:50:51 No.868944635 >be me, 18 male, tall, big >be not me, 7/10 qt fwb i have been on and off with for about 4 months >she has always joked about me killing her and her liking it if i did Is this normal? >get done with movie date and driving her home >ask if she were to be killed by someone how would she want to die > her "have the best day of my life with the murderer then have him stab me" >me "what about strangling?" >her "yeah that would work to" >i pull over the car and ask her if she had a good time with me >her "anon stop you're not funny" >i unbuckle my seat belt and turn towards her with a straight face > she starts crying hysterically >her "please dont kill me i dont want to die" >mfw her begging to not be killed gave me the hardest boner of my life

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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: Stormy ave 33 KB JPG 08/31/22(Wed)21:12:41 No.70039961 >Something takes a part of me, something lost and never seen.

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Anon's day in the life | /r/Greentext

01/09/20(Thu)12:17:38 No.818100537 >be mommy's good boy of 38 >she puts tendies on my plate >asks me if I want some Dew >I say "yes, bitch, that'd be great" >piping hot straight from the fryer >to my mouth, my hungers dier! >come on bitch, you can't delay >my healthy frame will fade away >in my booster seat I fidget >I must make quadruple digits >disregard Chad and Tyrone >I'm the master of this home >if they come I yell and screech >through mommy's bedroom door I breech >they wrestle naked on the bed >I throw my s--- jug at his head >he grabs his things and runs away >your turn, mommy, you must pay >you ignored your baby boy >to trifle with these men of soy >tears of joy fill up her eyes >mommy must apologize >"MAKE ME TENDIES NOW, POSTHASTE! OR NIPPON STEEL YOU SHALL TASTE!" >to the kitchen mommy stumbles >while my tummy growls and rumbles >when they're done, I clap and cheer >I smile wide from ear to ear >served with honey mustard sauce >bitch, I am the tendie boss >I go back to my room to play >mommy lives another day Anonymous I TENDIES 391 KB PNG

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Anon wants to know if he is a bad guy? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 133 KB JPG 09/01/22(Thu)20:09:35 No.70042431 >there is a tard in my class >he does typical tardy things, runs everywhere in classroom and sings some songs we don't even know if a human or Lil Pump wrote it >it annoys us he becomes the punching bag of the class but tardy things keep happening >one day after school I see the tard standing infront of firehose box, probably watching ants >get behind him and tie the shoelaces together, he's ascending to another dimension so doesn't realize >run down stairs and call his name out loud >tard runs down and falls >currently he's on wheelchair so he can't run everywhere, looks like he hit his head too he's been quiet since then I think I did my class a favor and it's harmony here but am I a bad guy? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread : Anonymous you aren't a true robot and you should kill yourself 09/01/22(Thu)20:11:35 No.70042446

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Anon self induces multi personality disorder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous lalomaxxing is the way to go 55 KB JPG 09/01/22(Thu)03:33:36 No.70041851 >be me, 2019 >shy and not very outgoing during high school, got bullied because I had a stutter >did nothing during covid except play games and watch tv shows >watch Better Call Saul >see pic rel in show, think he's a pretty cool guy >college soon, want to change myself for the better >idea.jpg >pretty much roleplay as lalo for the good part of the school year minus the cartel s--- >now entering second year, lots of friends and everyone I see on campus loves me lalomaxx or YNGMI

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anon's dreams are dashed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 685 KB PNG >mfw 08/10/22 (Wed)16:55:17 No.69751799 >dads girlfriend moves in >she has a daughter >finally, smoking hot stepsis from my dreams >she finishes moving in >hangs huge lesbian flag on the wall

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Why are women like this | /r/Greentext

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Anon likes Dubstep | /r/Greentext

[Return] File: 1fe.png (59 KB, 658x662) [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [Auto] Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)23:33:57 No.884493663 >be me >around 9 >not into much >find dubstep >get really into it >try to show dad "anon this is awful. this f------ sucks. all i hear are transformers gangbanging each other" >proceeds to go into graphic detail about how optimus prime absolutely rails megatron to the music >can't unhear it >can't unthink it >stop listening to dubstep :(

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American anon on the struggles of the first world | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: PumB3E5E >>391731044 i dont fit in my tub | 08/19/22(Fri)18:25:37 No.391731110 >>391731261 >>391733168

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Anon is obese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/08/18(Thu)14:59:45 No.95661009 Anonymous ICING OutPizzasTheHut IMAG0052.jpg 1016 KB JPG What should I watch, boys? PEPS 03/08/18(Thu)15:00:21 No.95661032 your weight >>95661071 # >>95661160 # >>95661164 # >>95661211 # >>95661217 # >>95661236 # >>95661273 # >>95661314 # >>95661386 # >>95661496 # >>95661551 # >>95661845 #

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anon wonders about something | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 01/31/22(Mon)11:02:46 No.67227363 >someone posts their overweight cat/dog on the internet >dozens of people crawl out of the woodwork to scold them for abusing their animal by letting it be fat >someone posts their overweight child on the internet >nobody says anything even though it is several orders of magnitude worse than letting a f------ cat be fat >if I say anything I get banned from wherever and people act like I am evil Why?

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Anon finds a home | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous #1 BOSS 13 KB JPG 08/31/22(Wed)22:32:49 No.884861663 >live in Europe >everyone is cold and inhospitable >go to Middle East >people are friendly but everything is corrupt and nothing works >go to Africa >lol jk >go to Asia >people are work-obsessed and dishonest >go to America >people are cool >institutions are basically functional >country is beautiful >I've found my home >get shot

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Anon is onto normies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)04:41:48 No.3183350 >>31833552 >>31834400 >>31834424 >>31836985 31844578 le: 1651707474804.jpg (688 KB, 1271x1177) >>31827884 (OP). # Are normies the true autists? >If you do something different than the social norm they freak out >They only have a few narrow interests like football or the most popular music >They go into a blank stare when talking about anything besides those things >Boomer can go on and on about cars but somehow this isn't autistic >A lot of normies surprisingly don't get subtle social cues Am I into something here?

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