Female anon's college love story | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Ⓡ 106 KB JPG >be me at 21, college >Female virgin, never seen a real d---, overweight, well aware of 4chan... >Eating at a campus restaurant one day >Guy from the school comes up to me, asks me out >I stutter like crazy but mutter a yes >We go to a musical and go to dinner >He takes me back to his place >We cuddle on his couch >Things escalate, we make out >He asks me if I'm willing to give him a b------, I accept >He unzips, it's huge and circumcized >I start licking the tip >I put it in my mouth and go as deep as I can >Start going too deep and I gag >Gag again, trying to get it out >I throw up all over his c--- and balls >Throw up again all over his stomach >He throws up all over me >I start crying and walk out of the room >He says "it's ok please don't leave" >I say "you you you too" >I walk out of his place crying >I call my mom, tell her honestly about my night >She takes me to get Ice cream. >Mom says it's ok and her first time was awkward too >She also asks why I accepted a date from him considering he's the music teacher and he's 67 years old >I tell her I didn't know any better and that I'm of legal age so its ok I really wish I could've had another chance, professor Johnson, if you're out there, I loved the taste of your d---

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon follows the gaming industry | /r/Greentext

PSS 22 KB JPG >Microsoft pays for Chip priority while having no games in 2022 Game Media: no coverage >Microsoft studios being very obviously mismanaged Media: no coverage >Microsoft, can't make their own IP's so they spend nearly 100 billion dollars taking IP's away from Nintendo and Sony Media: wholesome gamepass additions >Microsoft, kills highly rated IP's because they didn't sell well (I wonder why, it's almost like they took them from other platforms where they were loved, see banjo, conker, perfect dark etc) Media: actually those IP's weren't good >Microsoft: releases a proprietary expansion card that will never drop in price, while Sony allows for multiple m.2 types that dropped to below half the cost of the Seagate Xbox card Media: Seagate card is convenient! We don't know how to install the Sony one so Microsoft's way is better >Microsoft: launches halo unfinished even after over a year delay Media: halo is back and better than ever! (Alright this is a stretch) >Microsoft: adds shovelware to Gamepass for months on end while Sony's New service drops loads of great titles Media: gamepass will always be better! (Gives no reasoning) >Microsoft: DRM problems, means you don't even own some of the games you bought physically long term and when offline might be locked out forever at a certain point Media: no coverage, literally 0 coverage >Microsoft: accuses Sony of paying to keep games off of gamepass Media: EVERYONE LOOK! SONY BAD! SONY ANTICONSUMER! tell me I'm wrong, and I don't even like Sony, I just follow the industry.

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Horny Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB JPG 07/11/22(Mon)22:21:04 No.881875658 >be horny >go on doublelist >find post for girl looking to suck d--- >think with pp >send her a fully nude body shot with face >she asks for more and wants to know my name >send her more and tell her my name >she then blackmails me >threatens to send pictures of me to all my family members on facebook >jokes on her >I don't have Facebook >she doesn't know >I act scared and tell her to tell me where to send the money >she gives me her cashapp >I report it to the authorities and tell her I need a few days to gather the money >they continue to threaten me by sending my photos of my linked in account >not too long after, they get caught >get call from detective >turns out it's some 23 year old dude from California >I agree to testify in court >I am also sueing him for 100k for post traumatic stress and blackmailing >would share pics of chat but was advised not too as it can effect the case >going to have to await guilty charge until I can go ahead with sueing >this f----- is toast >I'm still horny

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Anon on the po po | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 33 KB JPG 04/18/22(Mon)08:01:54 No.68264937 > You get to shoot people > You get to beat people up > You have authority over everyone > Absolutely no consequences. > People are surprised when narcissist psychos show up View Thread

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Anon’s daily routine | /r/Greentext

176 KB PNG >be me, 18 years old >Walking home from work at Wendy's since car broke down >Say goodbye to my crush who I just asked out, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen >Going down sketchy neighborhood >Large, ripped African man comes up to me and asks me for some cash >Threatens me saying I better give him some >It's dark, I'm scared as f--- >He says he's just f------ with me and laughs, tells me to stay safe >I laugh and start walking faster >Get home, relieved >Dad gets angry at me for getting home late >Smells the smoke on my breath >He beats the s--- out of me, I'm bleeding in 3 different places >He then beats my mom too for giving birth to me >Just then a window to my house breaks open >It's the guy who threatened to rob me as a joke >He says "ain't no one gonna beat that cute boy" >He rips off his pants and exposes his massive c--- >He slaps my dad with it, rapidly >My dad passes out >My mom and I cheer as the man picks us up in each arm >He takes us to the 24hr diner >Says he's gonna be our new dad >Asks my mom if he can have hot consentual sex with her >They f--- rapidly and my mom gives birth the next day to another man roughly my age >He makes out with me >I wake up >Face is still bruised, turns out the black man never broke in and saved my family >Dad comes in apologizing for the other night, says he will stop drinking >Crush texts me, for some reason I have no more feelings for her am I gay now?

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 232 KB PNG 3 Replies 08/11/22(Thu)07:52:12 No.69763722 >go to local/nearby businesses, movie theater, goodwill, etc >ask for an application >get told to apply online >go to their website listed on their application site >nearest ones are a town or more away >don't have a car >"no one wants to work anymore" the f--- am I suppose to do >>69764210 # >careers >locations I want to apply to not Anonymous >>69763722 (OP) # Take the f------ buss View Thread 08/11/22(Thu)08:17:46 No.69763938

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Anon walks at night | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/22(Wed)21:44:46 No.69761928 >35 year old >go for night walks >One night, a group of drunk kids problem were walking in the opposite direction as me. >the loudest one was a girl 2 KB PNG >she started yelling random stuff at me, essentially trying to bait me irl >Ignore her because f--- dealing with drunk teens >She yells something along the lines of "are you deaf or what? Answer me" >Ignore her and walk away This happened last year and it still annoys me

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Anon plays milsim | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Are all gaming communities lik(...) I've primarily played tactical multiplayer shooters since around. 2005 but noticed recently that the communities surrounding these games have totally changed. I didn't have much time for video between 2012-2020 but during covid I got back into it a bit with Rising storm, Hell let loose, Squad, etc. The difference in the gaming experience within this genre compared to a few years ago is astounding. Community servers have all gone way overboard with the political correctness and the majority of clans are super serious and autistic to the point of treating these games like an actual job. Everyone seems to congregate on discord and reddit and hivemind a community meta for how the game should be played and variation from that by anyone, including the devs, is met with extreme seething. This genre is the last place I expected players to be offended by casual banter and political incorrectness, especially given the subject matter of the games. The milsim larpers and nerds who value historical accuracy and "realism" (whatever that means) seem to be the predominant voices now and while it seems that they are responsible for the renewed interest in these games, they have absolutely ruined it for casuals. ****** 07/10/22(Sun)08:52:43 No.655360 3.5 MB GIF >What the f--- happened to bros having a light hearted laugh satirizing the conflicts these games are set in? >What happened to playing the game within the bounds of the game's capabilities instead of adhering to some larper ruleset 24/7? >Why can't you say n----- in a server full of white nerds without them permabanning you? What the f--- man, am I that much of a boomer?

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Anon thinks he is the only loser left | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/22(Tue)16:55:57 No.69742142 >go outside >notice that EVERY single person I see has had sex >all had relationships >all cuddled with someone >all held someone who fell asleep/fell asleep in someone's arms >all made great memories and stories, even if their lives are s--- now they still have those >most probably heard "I love you" at some point >this happened very naturally to them, it wasn't hard >meanwhile I struggle with even talking to people, hugless, handholdless, kissless, touch-starved aging virgin at 26, don't know what to do with my hands, unironically bad at even walking, day ruined just by catching a glimpse of my reflection, can hardly speak even in online games (after many years I can speak a little bit) because my voice is ugly and disgusting and I hate it 81 KB PNG >feel completely subhuman >day ruined, motivation sapped Anyone know these feels? 08/09/22(Tue)17:02:21 No.69742187 : Anonymous >>69742142 (OP) # >notice that EVERY single person I see has had sex TEACH ME YOUR WISE SEX DETECTOR WAYS, YOU FROGPOSTING F-----

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anon is addicted to furries | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 201 KB JPG 08/09/22(Tue)07:00:33 No.883572657 >Be me >12 years old >Playing in a friend's house >"Hey anon, want to play in my computer?" >Sure, why not >Go upstairs >Go to the computer >The computer wasn't off >It was in hibernation >There is a Google tab open already >We decide to open it out of curiosity >A bunch of furry p--- >Whatthefuck.jpg >Be confused, curious and scared at the same time >My friend closes the tab >Odd silence for at least a minute or two >His brother comes in >His eyes open wide >Ohshit.jpg >"You know, i better go, i have to do some homework" >Go to my house >Remember the name of the page >Curiosity takes over me >Search it >Be me some time later >I'm 19 now, just beat my meat to futa furry p--- What went wrong with my life?

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Anon just wants to be like anyone else | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/31/22(Sun)22:52:19 No.69635935 >be autistic >around 15-16 decide f--- it, I'm gonna be normal >now 20 and semi-functioning 0% PATIENCE >still have tics and habits that are an 524 KB PNG unremovable part of my personality >there's now a community entirely dedicated to autists on my level indulging in their shortcomings What

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not worried about those irs job openings anymore lol | /r/Greentext

>>390568902 (OP) # >50 hours per week >On call 24/7 >No holidays >Dangerous situations >Might have to kill someone Starting pay $41,167 : Anonymous (ID: TCFBSnUd All >>390571109 # irs special agent salary Images News Shopping Videos Maps IRS Special Agents beginning their careers at the GS-7 level usually earn salaries starting at between $41,167 and $51,850 a year. IRS Special Agents beginning at the GS-9 level can expect to earn between $50,293 and $64,894 year starting out. Agent can are also entitled to receive locality pay for certain assignments. CP https://www.careerprofiles.info irs-. IRS Special Agent Salary, Earnings and Wage Information - Career Profiles >>390570406 # >>390571125 # >>390571222 # >>390571341 # >>390571605 # >>390571788 # >>390572158 # >>390573782 # >>390574136 # >>390574204 # >>390574320 # >>390576144 # >>390570264 # >Masters Degree required >3 years IRS experience required. About featured snippets ⠀ Feedback 08/10/22(Wed)17:06:04 No.390570406

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Anon is planning an insurrection. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 66 KB JPG 2 Replies 08/11/22(Thu)01:34:08 No.69764070 >If we cant solve our problems we must DESTROY our problems One day incels will realise their true strength and numbers and will overthrow this oppressive feminist system. Start envisioning a world where WOMEN FEAR YOU View Thread Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)01:36:40 No.69764105 What are you some kind of batman villain, anon? Anonymous >>69764070 (OP) # lol I love that point where incels go so far off the deep end they start sounding like insurrectionary communists. 08/11/22(Thu)01:38:43 No.69764123

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