anon is addicted to furries | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 201 KB JPG 08/09/22(Tue)07:00:33 No.883572657 >Be me >12 years old >Playing in a friend's house >"Hey anon, want to play in my computer?" >Sure, why not >Go upstairs >Go to the computer >The computer wasn't off >It was in hibernation >There is a Google tab open already >We decide to open it out of curiosity >A bunch of furry p--- >Whatthefuck.jpg >Be confused, curious and scared at the same time >My friend closes the tab >Odd silence for at least a minute or two >His brother comes in >His eyes open wide >Ohshit.jpg >"You know, i better go, i have to do some homework" >Go to my house >Remember the name of the page >Curiosity takes over me >Search it >Be me some time later >I'm 19 now, just beat my meat to futa furry p--- What went wrong with my life?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon just wants to be like anyone else | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/31/22(Sun)22:52:19 No.69635935 >be autistic >around 15-16 decide f--- it, I'm gonna be normal >now 20 and semi-functioning 0% PATIENCE >still have tics and habits that are an 524 KB PNG unremovable part of my personality >there's now a community entirely dedicated to autists on my level indulging in their shortcomings What

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not worried about those irs job openings anymore lol | /r/Greentext

>>390568902 (OP) # >50 hours per week >On call 24/7 >No holidays >Dangerous situations >Might have to kill someone Starting pay $41,167 : Anonymous (ID: TCFBSnUd All >>390571109 # irs special agent salary Images News Shopping Videos Maps IRS Special Agents beginning their careers at the GS-7 level usually earn salaries starting at between $41,167 and $51,850 a year. IRS Special Agents beginning at the GS-9 level can expect to earn between $50,293 and $64,894 year starting out. Agent can are also entitled to receive locality pay for certain assignments. CP https://www.careerprofiles.info irs-. IRS Special Agent Salary, Earnings and Wage Information - Career Profiles >>390570406 # >>390571125 # >>390571222 # >>390571341 # >>390571605 # >>390571788 # >>390572158 # >>390573782 # >>390574136 # >>390574204 # >>390574320 # >>390576144 # >>390570264 # >Masters Degree required >3 years IRS experience required. About featured snippets ⠀ Feedback 08/10/22(Wed)17:06:04 No.390570406

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Anon is planning an insurrection. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 66 KB JPG 2 Replies 08/11/22(Thu)01:34:08 No.69764070 >If we cant solve our problems we must DESTROY our problems One day incels will realise their true strength and numbers and will overthrow this oppressive feminist system. Start envisioning a world where WOMEN FEAR YOU View Thread Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)01:36:40 No.69764105 What are you some kind of batman villain, anon? Anonymous >>69764070 (OP) # lol I love that point where incels go so far off the deep end they start sounding like insurrectionary communists. 08/11/22(Thu)01:38:43 No.69764123

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Anon fights against female temptations | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 438 KB JPG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous 20 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)03:54:53 No.883672270 I really need a man. Can I sleep in your bed anon? ...with you? I'm drunk and stoned and I thought we could cuddle maybe... I want you closer to me. View Thread 08/11/22(Thu)03:57:11 No.883672368 >>883672270 (OP) # F--- OFF BITCH IM TRYING TO SLEEP

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Anon's mind is a temple | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 216 KB PNG 4 Replies 06/17/22 (Fri)15:32:52 No.880295634 I'm never going to look at p---, play League of Legends, eat junk food, or use social media ever again. My mind is a temple not to be contaminated with such meaningless, unhealthy things. View Thread : Anonymous 06/17/22 (Fri)15:36:22 No.880295728 >'m never going to look at p---, play League of Legends, eat junk food, or use social media ever again. My mind is a temple not to be contaminated with such meaningless, unhealthy things. >immediately posts on 4chan

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Anon quotes American Psycho | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Favorite movie lines 10/04/20(Sun)15:07:39 No.140245384 161AA42A-EDA1-4F0D-832B-B18023B797D1.jpg 50 KB JPG >Patrick, it's you!! You're the American Psycho?!!" : Anonymous >>140245384 (OP) # He didn't say that. 10/04/20(Sun)15:08:00 No.140245402 >>140245447 # >>140245550 # >>140245578 # >>140245615 # >>140247082 # >>140247322 # >>140247340 # >>140248981 # >>140250088 # >>140250383 # >>140251549 # >>140251745 #

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Anon gets mugged | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Be me 115 KB JPG instead 10/14/19(Mon)03:30:02 No.42892771 >walking home one night >Mugger comes out of nowhere >"Give me your wallet!" >Unload my FN Five-seveN on him >Realize that I used 20 rounds of 5.7*28mm ammo MFW it would have been cheaper to just hand over the wallet

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Anon eavesdrops | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB PNG Anonymous 08/10/22 (Wed)19:44:32 No.69752816 >dad is having loud sex with mom again 08/10/22(Wed)19:45:16 No.69752820 Probably sick of you living at home. : Anonymous >>69752816 (OP) # join them, problem solved 08/10/22(Wed)20:01:17 No.69752914

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Tharr she blows | /r/Greentext

ile: image.jpg (16 KB, 409x307) Anonymous (ID: yayTxwp3) 05/19/14(Mon)01:31:58 Worst sex story thread? >Be me >Just graduated >Hanging out with qt3.14 girlfriend after Graduation party >Both extremely drunk >On my bed >She starts rubbing my c--- through my jeans >Says that she's never role played and wants to try >"O-okay what do you want to do?" >"I've always wanted to f--- Jack Sparrow" >Wat.jpg >Only thing I have pirate related is an eyepatch and a pirate hat from a few halloweens ago >Letsdothis.avi >She starts sucking me off >in the spurr of the moment shout "THARR SHE BLOWS!" >Realize what I just said >She starts laughing and ends up gagging on my d--- and puking >C-- because she was deepthroating when it happened >Dad walks in >Mixture of c-- and puke all over bed > Look at dad and say "A-ahoy matey" >He backs out and closes my door >Pretty sure he ran after closing the door >Never looks me in the eye again >Mfw >"Hey anon do you...." >Stares at the horrific scene that has just happend

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Anon's a time traveler | /r/Greentext

58m (8/10 9:10) 69754456 2 Re1 Img PNG 848KB (1797 × 2086) >YEAR: 2040 >healthcare advances have essentially eradicated all obesity-related health problems, without eradicating obesity >90% of women, aged 18 to 25, have a BMI over 40 >99% have a BMI over 30 >any woman with a BMI under 25 is considered a statistical anomaly, and they are most often institutionalized to treat their anorexia Are you looking forward to this era?

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 232 KB JPG 08/11/22(Thu)10:24:37 No.54738401 Congratulations! You are a hotshot movie director with a storied history. The US Army has reached out to you because they want a movie that does for tanks what Top Gun did for aviation. Who do you cast? What is the mission? What time period and vehicles do you choose? The US Army is okay splitting its screen time with the tank of another NATO ally so long as an American crew is the protagonist and the American vehicle takes up the large majority of the screentime. You have a fuckhuge budget; the Army gives no f---- and will supply you with as much fuel and ammunition as you need to shoot your film. 11 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Beavis and Butthead in: Silent Hill 3 | /r/Greentext

file.png 1007 KB PNG >uhh, this mall sucks >hhhuhuh yeah, this sucks. i want nachos. >hey ask that girl over there if she like knows where the food is >uhhhhhhhuhuhu >hey baby

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