Anon wants a haircut | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 11/19/16(Sat)21:37:49 No.11975027 File: 1479615928967.jpg (35 KB, 367x720) how do i get rolfs haircut without showing the barber picture of rolf

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon touches grass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/08/22(Sun)18:03:23 No.877759181 1637247439088.png 1.92 MB PNG >be me >Bored at home >Call all my friends for a walk >No one wants >No problem, I will go alone >Dress properly >Buy a energy drink >Sit near a park >nice weather >Feeling good /b/ros Don't be afraid to do things alone

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Anon likes his Uncrustables | /r/Greentext

05/14/18(Mon)13:14:04 No.10598617 Uncrustables are the only thing keeping me alive at this point. This isn't a f------ joke every day I wake up, go to the same s----- school full of s----- people who all think their better than one another, full of teachers who either don't want to be their either or hate you, spend time with people who don't like me and who I don't like, then go home, cry in the shower for an hour, then engage in a sorry attempt at studying, all for what? All for the f------ uncrustables, every day, twice a day, those absolute godsends of treats get me through my miserable f------ life, the sweetness of the jelly matched with the saltiness of the peanut butter, all on soft, round bread pockets. God isn't real, heaven isn't real, only uncrustables are real : Anonymous 49 KB PNG View Thread

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Anon cracks a joke. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 08/22/22(Mon)22:34:30 No.884372559 >be me >amidst one of the worst floods in my state's history >see that my entire house is surrounded in water with no land in sight >"this will definitely affect trout season" >my whole family looks at me in confusion 17 people died that day

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Anon is a sex analyst | /r/Greentext

07/25/23(Tue)14:57:33 No.70350563 Women can't c-- tho. Orgasms are just the pelvic muscles relaxing it's nothing to do with sexual arousal : Anonymous I've had sex with multiple women and none of them cummed or orgasmed even after 5 minutes of continuous sex. Oh and for the record, "squirting" is just pee

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Anon has thoughts about aliens in Brazil. | /r/Greentext

08/06/23(Sun)21:00:37 No.35516515 : Anonymous >>35515582 (OP) # >brazil had an invasion of ufos >ufos used beams to paralyze, burn, a--- probe, and suck blood >earned the local name chupa chupa >translates to "suck suck" This is not the sexy invasion anons were hoping for.

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Anon goes on Reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB JPG 03/16/19(Sat)00:01:17 No.795089854 >Be me >Redditfag >goes on r/greentext >sort by top posts of all time >find first post that's older than 150 days >take a screen shot of the image >post on r/greentext >get over 30k upvotes >mfw I have more karma than 90% of other redditors

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anon has an umbrella | /r/Greentext

$AINERI € حد \ ---- .$

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Anon wants more tendies. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/25/15 (Sun)19:45:11 No.15987578 ► >>15987609 >>15988280 >>15988378 >>15988934>>15989284>>15989842 >>15998149 le: 1421609375763.png (6 KB, 300x355) >I've been a good boy and save up 50 GBP this week >now I can dine on tendies ALL WEEKEND >lunch goes smoothly enough. got a nice hot plate of tendies and sauce >my tummy starts to growl later and I know it time for dinner >I leave my room and head downstairs >"mummy! time for din din! Its tendie time!" >mumma is on the couch watching a movie with another new daddy >lazy bitch. but who cares as long as I get my tendies >"Sorry anon but you know the rules! tendies only once a day! just heat up some bagel bitez and leave me and my friend alone." >f------ liar! theres no such rule posted on the GBP chart! and bagel bitez! what an insult! >she'll learn >wait untill 2 hours past my beddie bye time >grab my pee pee spittoon and my hidden pair of mummys underwear to wear as a mask >interrupt her and new daddy playing in her room >"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE CHICKEN TENDIES IS WHAT I DESIRE!" >start spinning around like taz from loony toons spraying my pee pee all over >new daddy is screaming and mum is crying and here I am. eating breakfast tendies in bed like a king. New daddy even said he was going to show me his new gun in the woods next weekend.

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Anon celebrates christmas | /r/Greentext

: onymous 10 KB PNG 12/25/22(Sun)07:43:42 No.891365912 >haven't seen my family for Christmas in 12 years >my mom always goes down to Arizona to see them >this year I saved up enough money and requested a week off so I could go visit >I was super excited to go >told my cousin on Facebook I was coming this year but got left on read >my mom called the next day and told me I need to stay home because they have a lot going on >I was disappointed but understood >open up snapchat this morning to see my mom's story >my brother, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents are all there >I'm the only one spending Christmas alone >my mom shortly after deleted the story and called me a dozen times >they don't have a lot going on at all >I just wasn't invited

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Anon moves out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon does what is called a pro gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 3 Replies 01/19/19(Sat) 19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. View Thread 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 Anonymous >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu

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