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05/14/18(Mon)13:14:04 No.10598617 Uncrustables are the only thing keeping me alive at this point. This isn't a f------ joke every day I wake up, go to the same s----- school full of s----- people who all think their better than one another, full of teachers who either don't want to be their either or hate you, spend time with people who don't like me and who I don't like, then go home, cry in the shower for an hour, then engage in a sorry attempt at studying, all for what? All for the f------ uncrustables, every day, twice a day, those absolute godsends of treats get me through my miserable f------ life, the sweetness of the jelly matched with the saltiness of the peanut butter, all on soft, round bread pockets. God isn't real, heaven isn't real, only uncrustables are real : Anonymous 49 KB PNG View Thread

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon cracks a joke. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 08/22/22(Mon)22:34:30 No.884372559 >be me >amidst one of the worst floods in my state's history >see that my entire house is surrounded in water with no land in sight >"this will definitely affect trout season" >my whole family looks at me in confusion 17 people died that day

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Anon is a sex analyst | /r/Greentext

07/25/23(Tue)14:57:33 No.70350563 Women can't c-- tho. Orgasms are just the pelvic muscles relaxing it's nothing to do with sexual arousal : Anonymous I've had sex with multiple women and none of them cummed or orgasmed even after 5 minutes of continuous sex. Oh and for the record, "squirting" is just pee

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Anon has thoughts about aliens in Brazil. | /r/Greentext

08/06/23(Sun)21:00:37 No.35516515 : Anonymous >>35515582 (OP) # >brazil had an invasion of ufos >ufos used beams to paralyze, burn, a--- probe, and suck blood >earned the local name chupa chupa >translates to "suck suck" This is not the sexy invasion anons were hoping for.

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Anon goes on Reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 KB JPG 03/16/19(Sat)00:01:17 No.795089854 >Be me >Redditfag >goes on r/greentext >sort by top posts of all time >find first post that's older than 150 days >take a screen shot of the image >post on r/greentext >get over 30k upvotes >mfw I have more karma than 90% of other redditors

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anon has an umbrella | /r/Greentext

$AINERI € حد \ ---- .$

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Anon wants more tendies. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/25/15 (Sun)19:45:11 No.15987578 ► >>15987609 >>15988280 >>15988378 >>15988934>>15989284>>15989842 >>15998149 le: 1421609375763.png (6 KB, 300x355) >I've been a good boy and save up 50 GBP this week >now I can dine on tendies ALL WEEKEND >lunch goes smoothly enough. got a nice hot plate of tendies and sauce >my tummy starts to growl later and I know it time for dinner >I leave my room and head downstairs >"mummy! time for din din! Its tendie time!" >mumma is on the couch watching a movie with another new daddy >lazy bitch. but who cares as long as I get my tendies >"Sorry anon but you know the rules! tendies only once a day! just heat up some bagel bitez and leave me and my friend alone." >f------ liar! theres no such rule posted on the GBP chart! and bagel bitez! what an insult! >she'll learn >wait untill 2 hours past my beddie bye time >grab my pee pee spittoon and my hidden pair of mummys underwear to wear as a mask >interrupt her and new daddy playing in her room >"LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE CHICKEN TENDIES IS WHAT I DESIRE!" >start spinning around like taz from loony toons spraying my pee pee all over >new daddy is screaming and mum is crying and here I am. eating breakfast tendies in bed like a king. New daddy even said he was going to show me his new gun in the woods next weekend.

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Anon celebrates christmas | /r/Greentext

: onymous 10 KB PNG 12/25/22(Sun)07:43:42 No.891365912 >haven't seen my family for Christmas in 12 years >my mom always goes down to Arizona to see them >this year I saved up enough money and requested a week off so I could go visit >I was super excited to go >told my cousin on Facebook I was coming this year but got left on read >my mom called the next day and told me I need to stay home because they have a lot going on >I was disappointed but understood >open up snapchat this morning to see my mom's story >my brother, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents are all there >I'm the only one spending Christmas alone >my mom shortly after deleted the story and called me a dozen times >they don't have a lot going on at all >I just wasn't invited

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Anon moves out | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 131 KB JPG 07/05/18(Thu)16:31:04 No.773480835 >live in virginia >move to north carolina >see ya later virginians

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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Anon does what is called a pro gamer moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 59 KB JPG 3 Replies 01/19/19(Sat) 19:43:52 No.50505418 just man the f--- up and get a gf. View Thread 01/19/19(Sat)20:02:04 No.50505556 Anonymous >>50505418 (OP) # How bout you man the f--- down and become my gf uwu

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Are you ok, Fridgebro? | /r/Greentext

BSV the only time i talk to I have no anybody want Sore P get sick 2343687 ged a lit nu Ch Used to i PR all - eal friends o myself 345004 R ina preserving the stra organisms that have all QURe amazing really t OVONved a defence mec to bet that by adding a 727345053 m of survival for life. of then all NIT OFE OF 2333 JR FACE ease just post side of it Z NEED HE F--- ARE ONT HE Nucea Kill. IS specifically as you ABC IRE ABC ridgebro merely Are you okay. ●rror movie could ever dre CRIFICE WILL NOT BE .

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Anon and his room mate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous this is getting hard 8 KB JPG > god damnit finally get the reason why > picrel > horniness.png > autism kicks in 07/28/23(Fri) 16:51:32 No.74190239 > starring like a fresh pubescent whenever I see her from behind : Anonymous > be me > live together with female room mate > she catches me starring, doesn't say anything, awkward situation >>74191586 # > only see her wearing wide trousers, never shorts or leggings > think nothing more of it > one day she wears leggings since this day I've known that I live together with a huge, perfectly shaped ass, yet I know bunga bunga is out of reach how do you cope fellow anons? >>74191383 # : Anonymous : Anonymous >>74190239 (OP) # Here are a few fun ideas 07/28/23(Fri)17:00:21 No.74190311 07/28/23(Fri)19:06:36 No.74191370 >sniff panties >fap in her panties >fap in her socks >rub d--- on her toothbrush >open fridge and rub d--- on her food 07/28/23(Fri)19:08:04 No.74191383 >>74191370 # ah yes the zoomer dating strategy 101

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Greentext Stories - Anon likes his Uncrustables | /r/Greentext

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05/14/18(Mon)13:14:04 No.10598617 Uncrustables are the only thing keeping me alive at this point. This isn't a f------ joke every day I wake up, go to the same s----- school full of s----- people who all think their better than one another, full of teachers who either don't want to be their either or hate you, spend time with people who don't like me and who I don't like, then go home, cry in the shower for an hour, then engage in a sorry attempt at studying, all for what? All for the f------ uncrustables, every day, twice a day, those absolute godsends of treats get me through my miserable f------ life, the sweetness of the jelly matched with the saltiness of the peanut butter, all on soft, round bread pockets. God isn't real, heaven isn't real, only uncrustables are real : Anonymous 49 KB PNG View Thread

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