Anon Makes A Phone Call | /r/Greentext
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![File: im going to jail.jpg (35 KB, 355x280) Worst first date experiences? Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue)00:13:01 No.883562814 [Reply] ► >be me, 24 y/o virgin >finally get a date with a real girl >we go back to my place after dinner to watch a movie >sitting on the couch having a good time >"anon wheres your bathroom?" >she walks up the stairs as i pause the movie >as i hear the bathroom door shut i realise my mistake >i forgot i booby trap my toilet in case i get robbed >i start running up the stairs to warn her when i hear it >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG THUD >the 22 firecrackers under the toilet seat go off sequentially followed by a brick in the ceiling falling on her head >she starts screaming as i near the door trying to reach her before the rest of it happens >too late >theres a loud gushing noise as 30 liters of a sticky substance i invented myself by combining honey and gasoline pour onto the toilet and the victim >a confetti cannon under the sink shoots a wad of pigeon feathers i took from the slow pigeons at the park directly at the toilet >i reach the door and open it to see her shaking and crying covered head to toe looking like a human sized deformed and bleeding chicken >she reaches out for my help and i grimace as the sawn off cylinder bore lead pellet shotgun behind the shower curtain fires and turns her head into a fine mist >i dont think im getting a second date](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/418/070/082.png "The booby trap is working | /r/Greentext")
