The booby trap is working | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: im going to jail.jpg (35 KB, 355x280) Worst first date experiences? Anonymous 08/09/22 (Tue)00:13:01 No.883562814 [Reply] ► >be me, 24 y/o virgin >finally get a date with a real girl >we go back to my place after dinner to watch a movie >sitting on the couch having a good time >"anon wheres your bathroom?" >she walks up the stairs as i pause the movie >as i hear the bathroom door shut i realise my mistake >i forgot i booby trap my toilet in case i get robbed >i start running up the stairs to warn her when i hear it >BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG THUD >the 22 firecrackers under the toilet seat go off sequentially followed by a brick in the ceiling falling on her head >she starts screaming as i near the door trying to reach her before the rest of it happens >too late >theres a loud gushing noise as 30 liters of a sticky substance i invented myself by combining honey and gasoline pour onto the toilet and the victim >a confetti cannon under the sink shoots a wad of pigeon feathers i took from the slow pigeons at the park directly at the toilet >i reach the door and open it to see her shaking and crying covered head to toe looking like a human sized deformed and bleeding chicken >she reaches out for my help and i grimace as the sawn off cylinder bore lead pellet shotgun behind the shower curtain fires and turns her head into a fine mist >i dont think im getting a second date

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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