Anon can't control herself | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 800 KB PNG Anonymous so much i puke >stacey comes over >"oh femanon are you ok? i think you ate too much" >bitch trots off giggling to her stacey army >immediately leaves 487 KB PNG 08/05/22(Fri)19:22:09 No.883368124 >be me >complete and utter landwhale >somehow invited to a party >turn up and be a complete loner >sit in a corner drinking for an hour >haven't left the house since >it's been 3 weeks why am i such a blob /b/ Anonymous >get hungry >make a pig of myself by eating 08/05/22(Fri)19:24:34 No.883368242 >>883368124 ha fat 08/05/22 (Fri)19:24:51 No.883368254 >>883368124 lose weight fatso

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is a little slow | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 37 KB JPG Anonymous i like cheese Anonymous 08/05/22(Fri)10:37:52 No.883340707 Does anyone else think white chess pieces look tasty as f---? 08/05/22(Fri)10:38:58 No.883340759 08/05/22(Fri)10:40:28 No.883340828 >>883340707 They remind me of chocolate for some reason I've always wanted to eat them.

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anon is a bro | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous important question for all aut(...) 637 KB JPG : Anonymous It's not in English btw so I can't post it, really don't wanna translate it and it's a personal letter anyway. >>69696292 # : Anonymous : Anonymous 08/06/22(Sat)01:50:39 No.69696253 >>69696311 # Should I put "please watch Chainsaw Man for me" in my suicide letter or is that too cringe? Rest is normal stuff, this would be the PS underneath. I'm really hyped for it and have talked about it a lot for like a year now. 08/06/22(Sat)01:52:32 No.69696277 08/06/22(Sat)01:53:39 No.69696292 08/06/22(Sat)01:53:41 No.69696295 : Anonymous >>69696253 (OP) # I will watch chainsaw man for you anon 08/06/22(Sat)01:54:25 No.69696305

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Anon is frustrated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 08/05/22(Fri)15:49:49 No.883366494 >be me >alone often >play vidja >no irl friends >no gf >start to have panic attacks >go to therapy >I'm told to go with the flow and be more social >make new friends, try new things >change my life basically >give into trends in order to fit in >start going out more >start making friends >start being invited to parties >eventually offered to be roommates with some said friends >more parties >meet of women >start to loose myself >become someone else >one day start having panic attacks again >go to therapy >told that I should take some alone time >find myself again >go against the grain of social trends and do my own thing What the f---, am I just f----- either way?

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Anon doesn't understand popcorn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 593 KB JPG 08/05/22(Fri)09:14:35 No.18195308 How do they get the butter inside the kernel?

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Anon is a Lee Key Bum | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG >>69692566 # 08/06/22(Sat)03:48:49 No.69692511 Anonymous Be a lazy f--- that can't go on roof to fix it Anonymous >thunderstorm rn >have to take a s--- >leaky ceiling directly over toilet >water slowly leaks on me while I s--- What did I do to deserve this 08/06/22(Sat)03:53:14 No.69692556 08/06/22(Sat)03:54:16 No.69692566 >>69692556 # I dont know how to fix it and am scared of heights

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and this is our son’s room… | /r/Greentext

g fd.jpg 467 KB JPG g odig >and this is our son's room, he's quite the computer nerd >come say hi, John

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Anon misses out on making a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 440 KB PNG 08/05/22(Fri)14:46:49 No.883353409 >be 15 >on instangram, some strange lady dms me >she and I start talking, slowly gets personal >don't realize that I am being groomed >good morning and goodnight texts abound >more personal messages, not overly sexual >tell my friends about her at 10th grade math >teacher asks for more info >she becomes concerned >get out of her that she lives in a different time zone >reads messages, tells me to block her >obey, forget about it >4 years later, look through old messages >deep down, see an unfamiliar message >it's the lady that groomed me >read the texts back >slowly become petrified >find her linkedin, she is 45 claiming to be 23 >realize that my math teacher saved me from getting r---- at 15 I still think about that from time to time and it gives me chills every time. Should I write my math teacher a thank you note?

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Anons autism ascends | /r/Greentext

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Anon watches too many teenage movies | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 24 KB PNG How do I cope? 03/05/22(Sat)18:09:59 No.67667813 >everyone else had a job at 16 >everyone else had a girlfriend at 16 >everyone else had sex at 16 >everyone else had friends at 16 >everyone else drank at 16 >everyone else did drugs at 16 >everyone else f----- around at 16 I never did any of those at that age. Anonymous >>67667813 (OP) be yourself. don't worry about what others are doing. 03/05/22(Sat) 18:10:39 No.67667823 Anonymous >>67667813 (OP). Well, not everyone. I had none of those things. Except maybe friends at 16. But that's debatable because I was never perfectly comfortable around them. I did it to survive HS mostly 03/05/22(Sat) 18:13:15 No.67667842

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Anon didn't like Nicki Minaj's verse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG 02/16/21 (Tue) 20:54:08 No.101678713 >song starts >enjoying it >female vocals come in >instantly turn off the album and never listen again

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Anon gets nuzzled (my favourite greentext, shame it didn’t blow up when posted by another guy) | /r/Greentext

File: furries.jpg (405 KB. 1296x968) >Especially after Columbine >All that was going to change soon >Friday he was totally fine >That Monday. >And this was his fall from grace and into autism >Greg at this point was quiet, and reserved, never did anything to get bullied >Apparently Greg's parents had bought him a computer, and an Internet connection >Oh, how two days can change a man >He obviously hadn't showered at all since friday >He didn't really pay attention during class and was mostly drawing in his notebook >His smell was palpable >The bell finally rang >Greg collected his things and headed for the door >Not before he bumped into a guy named Mike >Mike was not pleased with Greg's odor >"Jesus Greg, you f------ reek." >Greg stood silent for a moment >And then he did it >He f------ growled at Mike >Mike just pushed Greg out of the way and made his way into the hallway and walked to his next class >The rest of the kids gave Greg a strange room for the rest of the day Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:26:44 No.631158773 ► >>631160061 >>631160215 >>631165562>>631165642 >>631165921 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167542 >>631167974 File: 1437110427545.jpg (418 KB, 1955x2048) >Everyone had theirs in >"Greg? Where's your homework?" >Silence >"Greg?" >She asked for homework to be passed up front >She approached his desk >The room was strangely tense, before this Greg was a good student >She was standing at Greg's desk >"Greg?" >She reached out for a piece of paper she assumed was his homework >And then he snapped at her >Not like screaming or yelling, but he tried to bite her >You could actually hear the clack of his teeth >The teacher gasped >Greg just got up and Naruto ran out of the room >No one had seen such a thing before and we were really taken aback by him trying to bite the teacher, but the way he ran >The teacher called security. >No one saw Greg for the rest of the day until one of the Stoner kids reported seeing Greg in after school detention >Apparently he got on a table, curled up into a ball and tried to nap >The Indian man in charge didn't care enough to bother him >Pulled her close to his >>And licked her cheek >And the bug guts too >The whole class went dead silent Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:35:48 No.631160463 File: 1432672843827.jpg (1.79 MB, 5000x5000) SCARED >Hood up >S----- cloth ears flopping >She looked at him puzzled >"Is there something you want to tell me Greg?" >She was probably hoping for an apology >Greg grabbed her face >He had folded notebook paper in his hand >Tuesday >Apparently Greg didn't do his homework the night before >Instead he bought a gray hoodie, and some cloth >And sewed some years to the hood >At least he showered this time >Thankfully >Greg then tucked the paper into her breast pocket and sat back down >The teacher, as a testament to her character, pretended that never happened >The class went on as normal >The teacher was this really nice vegan lady from Oregon >She was a little pushy with homework but that was it really >She looked shaky and on the verge of tears the entire time while we were talking about the Boxer Rebellion >When the bell rang again, Greg bolted full Naruto style out of the room >His hoodie came loose and fell off >Their faces when >Greg turned around >Dropped his pants >And started to poo >Oh God the stench >Revealing a really s----- attempt at anime hair >I didn't see him again for the rest of the day >After school as I was walking home I saw our US History teacher talking to the school cop >With her equally vegan and upset boyfriend there too >We didn't see Greg for two weeks after that. Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)07:18:07 No.631156939 >>631157670 >>631165562 >>631166037 >>631166579 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167974 Alright boys, sit down for a tale of the most Autistic kid I have ever had the displeasure of running into. Wolfman Greg. Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:47:48 No.631162869>>631163894 >>631164020 >>631184078 >>631164239 >>631185562 >>631168956 >>631167039 >>631167974 >>63116970- File: Scared.jpg (67 KB, 656x584) >Be me >Be 16, around 2000 >Wasn't an outcast but wasn't a popular kid either >Kinda did my own thing really >F------ Greg >And the horror >Shared World History with this kid >His name was Greg >By this time we were on World War 1 >The teacher decided to hold class outdoors for once to demonstrate some things >As soon as we got outside, everyone put themselves up wind of Greg >The teacher would live to regret having class outside >Everything was going fine, we were discussing the Battle of Somme in the gentle Arizona winter >"Greg, what are you doing?" >All eyes shot to Greg to see what horror we were about to witness >Greg was digging with one hand in the soft soil >He didn't answer >Wednesday >Greg apparently wanted to make it up to the teacher >Unfortunately she was a little late because her Ford broke down >One of the football players brought her to campus on his motorcycle >She had what was left of a bug on her cheek that she missed >She walked into class ten minutes after class started >She apologized for her being late >Greg walked up to her >Everyone turned back to our teacher >And then the digging got more ferocious > "Greg, please stop digging, the grounds keepers worked really hard to grow that grass!" >No answer, he kept digging > "Greg" >The digging intensified > "Greg, stop it!" >Still nothing >Mike stood up and started walking towards Greg to stop him >By this time Greg had a foot deep hole about square foot wide >Everyone stopped >Greg managed to fill the entire hole up >He then lifted his pants >Sniffed it >And then buried it >The 9/10 goth girl fainted >Greg got sent to the office >And was sent home for the day >This is probably the first s--- he had in two weeks >Everyone flipped and got as far away from him as possible >Thursday, two weeks after the incident >Greg was back >If you think he was bad after a weekend of early 2000s Internet, Greg has been exposed for a full two weeks >He clearly hadn't showered, at all >He looked like he slept, ate and shat in the gray eared hoodie >He reeked >He also added a very poorly made tail to the back Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:55:32 No.631164486 >>631164732 >>631164845 >>631164983: >>631166575 >>631168956 >>631167039 >>631167740 >>631167974 File: XaviOda.jpg (19 KB, 320x240) >Greg had a bird >A half eaten bird >He was late because of this >Greg was late to class >Like really late >The poor teacher marked him absent >Half way through the treaty of Versailles guess who showed up TFW NO BELIEVE >We didn't see it at first, or for the next ten minutes >And then we heard it >A crunch >And not the normal granola kind >Like the wet, gross kind >The kind that something biting into a bone would make >The girl in front of Greg turned around >She flipped her s--- >Greg what the f---!" >Greg attempted to jump over a desk >He failed and landed face first on the tile >I was marginally impressed because he managed to catch a bird, kill it, and partially eat it > also wanted to throw up >Friday >Greg was tolerable that day, nothing happened >The following Monday >The teacher approached him and attempted to rescue the poor avian creature from this kic >Greg wasn't having it >He actually landed a bite on her >A bad one >Mike had enough of this s--- >Before he could react though Greg through his meal at him >The distraction worked >Luckily he had enough time to get up, spit out some blood and Naruto run out of the room >Somehow, he wasn't expelled for this >Our teacher missed two weeks of school because of an infection though. >So we only had our first class that day >For eight hours Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)08:06:19 No.631166557 >>631166912 >>631166935 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167068 >>631168055 >>631168060 >>631168071 >>631168096 >>631168119 >>631168348 >>631169028 File: 1437626420912.jpg (298 KB, 1024x768) That Each >Then I see it >Is that? >No f------ way >H-------- >>631160790 >>631161301 >>631165562 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167974 >It's f------ Greg >On >We broke for lunch, nothing weird happened with Greg, yet. >When we got back though, s--- started happening >Slowly >Everyone had the post lunch sleeples >Half the class was napping at their terminals >The others were either working or goofing off >I was helping the 9/10 goth girl work on her Horror novel >Wasn't too bad except for some grammar errors >And we were flirting >S--- was cash >The substitute fell asleep at some point, leaving Greg free to do as he pleased >And he was really pleasing himself >I happened to glance up and catch it >Poorly drawn, early 2000s furry p--- >Greg was jacking it pretty hard >He must have just started because no one seems to have noticed yet >"Hey, Anon. What are you staring a- OH MY GOD." >The goth girl freaked out >This in turn drew attention to Greg >Who happened to start climaxing >The next five seconds was beautiful >About a week into our poor teacher's absence >The substitute put us in the computer lab to research some s--- >She sat right behind Greg >The screaming woke up the Sub >Greg panicked mid c-- >Instead of turning off the computer he pushed the monitor off the desk >He ended up getting c-- everywhere >After this incident he was handed to the tard wranglers >He was transferred out of regular classes >But this was not the end of Wolfman Greg >He pinned her to the table >And pretended to mount her >Thanks to her fatness and her odor, she was immune to Greg's smell barrier >Our schedule was f----- that day >They were having a assembly for 8th graders that would be attending next year Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:19:31 No.631168892 >>631169088 >>631169188 >>631189229 >>631189280 >>631169316 >>631169328 >>631109391 >>631169435 >>631169472 >>631169494 >>631169620 >>631169694 >>631169898 >>631169825 >>831165 File: 1431545810401.gif (1.5 MB, 250x213) 1/2 >8 Ball didn't take Greg's s---, except for letting him growl or whine once in a while >Near the end of Junior year we thought we had heard the last of Wolfman Greg >Nope >Lunch time >Marissa dropped out >8 Ball lost his job >That was the end of Wolfman Greg for high school >I was sitting with the Goth Girl, Marian and her gaggle of dark brooding sisters >Had a good view of the courtyard where the other tables were at >We were talking about Poe when it happened >The doors to the tard building burst open >And there was Greg > was horrified. >I watch him sprint out, howling >8 Ball no where to be seen >No one really cared or noticed the horror about to happen >Greg wondered around for a bit before singling out prey >This poor shy girl named Marissa >He snuck up behind her >Oh God >He had his d--- out and was rubbing it on the back of her sweater >Howling like a wolf the whole time >Everyone went ape s--- and scattered >This had to be the final straw >This went on for what felt like forever >Eventually he came up Marissa's back >8 Ball finally showed up after getting Arby's >Greg was expelled after this and labeled a sex offender >We went a month without Greg shenanigans >Everything was peaceful >leven managed to sleep with the goth girl a couple of times outside of class >Greg was even allowed to join us occasionally >He was heavily guarded by a wrangler though >He didn't speak much, but we nicknamed him "8 Ball" >My boner is ruined >It's loud too I have ONE more, this happened six months ago. Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:31:26 No.631171137 >>831171221 >>631171284 File: LTXeu.jpg (127 KB, 800x853) >I can f------ smell him through my helmet >I nearly puke To clarify, I meant Greg was allowed to join our class. Not join me in hitting that sweet pale ass in the back, and on the hood of my old CRX. I can drop that green text if anyone's interested >Six months ago >It's been fifteen years since seeing Greg >He had left my mind entirely >Driving through my old town to visit my folks a vintage Vespa >I am in f------ aw that he's got a sweet scooter and I'm on a second had liter bike >Nearly rear end a taxi >He pulls up next to me >Thankfully he doesn't recognize me >Manage to distance myself from him and get to my parents place >Dinner is fine, mom's doing great, blah blah. >Decide to meet up with some old friends for a ride >Step outside >See that f------ Vespa in the neighbor's drive way >Is that? >No >Ignore it and go cruise >Come home a few hours later >Vespa still there >Please no >Greg lives next door to my folks now >After talking to now 3/10 goth girl on Facebook >Greg's folks died and he inherited a large chunk of change >Bought the house next to my parents >is a complete neet. >Greg's f------ howling keeps me up until 3am >I finally >It's quiet now >Fall asleep and leave the later Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:38:56 No.631172339631172480 >>631172516 >>631172532 >>631172534 >>631172535 >>631172548 File: 1427957849766.png (97 KB, 460x470) >It happens again >The terror is replaced with rage no >Open my window >This is it >>631171137 >He doesn't do anything but browse the Internet probably and do Wolfman things >Try to not let this crush my soul and crawl into my old bunk bed to sleep for the night >As I'm drifting off to the though of making the Goth Girl of yesteryear swallow my c-- and calling me her owner I hear it >It's f------ howling >God dammit Greg fell asleep >Wake up the next morning >Go through the day with my folks a shell of my former self >That night next morning was dead >l inadvertently got him to kill himself >I don't know anything else >"Greg! It's 11 o'clock at night! I have to go home tomorrow and I need sleep! SHUT THE F--- UP" >Slam window >A few months mom calls me >The cops entered Greg's home due to a smell complaint >They found Greg >Greg

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Anon questions a trade deal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be Russia >Convict some irrelevant woke black the female athlete for 9 months in prison for smuggling drugs >Not her first time in the country either, w-- did she expect to happen >Be Biden This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever 08/05/22(Fri)21:19:27 No.883351991 67 KB JPG >SenilePanic.jpg >Offer Putin the release of Viktor Bout in change for this Griner-woman >Viktor f------ Bout >The man known as the Merchant of Death, the dude that was the real life inspiration for the movie "Lord of War" How the hell is 9 months imprisonment for an idiotic black woman smuggling drugs the equivalent of a life sentence for one of the worst arms dealers of all time?

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