Anon watches too many teenage movies | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 24 KB PNG How do I cope? 03/05/22(Sat)18:09:59 No.67667813 >everyone else had a job at 16 >everyone else had a girlfriend at 16 >everyone else had sex at 16 >everyone else had friends at 16 >everyone else drank at 16 >everyone else did drugs at 16 >everyone else f----- around at 16 I never did any of those at that age. Anonymous >>67667813 (OP) be yourself. don't worry about what others are doing. 03/05/22(Sat) 18:10:39 No.67667823 Anonymous >>67667813 (OP). Well, not everyone. I had none of those things. Except maybe friends at 16. But that's debatable because I was never perfectly comfortable around them. I did it to survive HS mostly 03/05/22(Sat) 18:13:15 No.67667842

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon didn't like Nicki Minaj's verse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 50 KB JPG 02/16/21 (Tue) 20:54:08 No.101678713 >song starts >enjoying it >female vocals come in >instantly turn off the album and never listen again

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Anon gets nuzzled (my favourite greentext, shame it didn’t blow up when posted by another guy) | /r/Greentext

File: furries.jpg (405 KB. 1296x968) >Especially after Columbine >All that was going to change soon >Friday he was totally fine >That Monday. >And this was his fall from grace and into autism >Greg at this point was quiet, and reserved, never did anything to get bullied >Apparently Greg's parents had bought him a computer, and an Internet connection >Oh, how two days can change a man >He obviously hadn't showered at all since friday >He didn't really pay attention during class and was mostly drawing in his notebook >His smell was palpable >The bell finally rang >Greg collected his things and headed for the door >Not before he bumped into a guy named Mike >Mike was not pleased with Greg's odor >"Jesus Greg, you f------ reek." >Greg stood silent for a moment >And then he did it >He f------ growled at Mike >Mike just pushed Greg out of the way and made his way into the hallway and walked to his next class >The rest of the kids gave Greg a strange room for the rest of the day Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:26:44 No.631158773 ► >>631160061 >>631160215 >>631165562>>631165642 >>631165921 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167542 >>631167974 File: 1437110427545.jpg (418 KB, 1955x2048) >Everyone had theirs in >"Greg? Where's your homework?" >Silence >"Greg?" >She asked for homework to be passed up front >She approached his desk >The room was strangely tense, before this Greg was a good student >She was standing at Greg's desk >"Greg?" >She reached out for a piece of paper she assumed was his homework >And then he snapped at her >Not like screaming or yelling, but he tried to bite her >You could actually hear the clack of his teeth >The teacher gasped >Greg just got up and Naruto ran out of the room >No one had seen such a thing before and we were really taken aback by him trying to bite the teacher, but the way he ran >The teacher called security. >No one saw Greg for the rest of the day until one of the Stoner kids reported seeing Greg in after school detention >Apparently he got on a table, curled up into a ball and tried to nap >The Indian man in charge didn't care enough to bother him >Pulled her close to his >>And licked her cheek >And the bug guts too >The whole class went dead silent Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:35:48 No.631160463 File: 1432672843827.jpg (1.79 MB, 5000x5000) SCARED >Hood up >S----- cloth ears flopping >She looked at him puzzled >"Is there something you want to tell me Greg?" >She was probably hoping for an apology >Greg grabbed her face >He had folded notebook paper in his hand >Tuesday >Apparently Greg didn't do his homework the night before >Instead he bought a gray hoodie, and some cloth >And sewed some years to the hood >At least he showered this time >Thankfully >Greg then tucked the paper into her breast pocket and sat back down >The teacher, as a testament to her character, pretended that never happened >The class went on as normal >The teacher was this really nice vegan lady from Oregon >She was a little pushy with homework but that was it really >She looked shaky and on the verge of tears the entire time while we were talking about the Boxer Rebellion >When the bell rang again, Greg bolted full Naruto style out of the room >His hoodie came loose and fell off >Their faces when >Greg turned around >Dropped his pants >And started to poo >Oh God the stench >Revealing a really s----- attempt at anime hair >I didn't see him again for the rest of the day >After school as I was walking home I saw our US History teacher talking to the school cop >With her equally vegan and upset boyfriend there too >We didn't see Greg for two weeks after that. Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)07:18:07 No.631156939 >>631157670 >>631165562 >>631166037 >>631166579 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167974 Alright boys, sit down for a tale of the most Autistic kid I have ever had the displeasure of running into. Wolfman Greg. Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:47:48 No.631162869>>631163894 >>631164020 >>631184078 >>631164239 >>631185562 >>631168956 >>631167039 >>631167974 >>63116970- File: Scared.jpg (67 KB, 656x584) >Be me >Be 16, around 2000 >Wasn't an outcast but wasn't a popular kid either >Kinda did my own thing really >F------ Greg >And the horror >Shared World History with this kid >His name was Greg >By this time we were on World War 1 >The teacher decided to hold class outdoors for once to demonstrate some things >As soon as we got outside, everyone put themselves up wind of Greg >The teacher would live to regret having class outside >Everything was going fine, we were discussing the Battle of Somme in the gentle Arizona winter >"Greg, what are you doing?" >All eyes shot to Greg to see what horror we were about to witness >Greg was digging with one hand in the soft soil >He didn't answer >Wednesday >Greg apparently wanted to make it up to the teacher >Unfortunately she was a little late because her Ford broke down >One of the football players brought her to campus on his motorcycle >She had what was left of a bug on her cheek that she missed >She walked into class ten minutes after class started >She apologized for her being late >Greg walked up to her >Everyone turned back to our teacher >And then the digging got more ferocious > "Greg, please stop digging, the grounds keepers worked really hard to grow that grass!" >No answer, he kept digging > "Greg" >The digging intensified > "Greg, stop it!" >Still nothing >Mike stood up and started walking towards Greg to stop him >By this time Greg had a foot deep hole about square foot wide >Everyone stopped >Greg managed to fill the entire hole up >He then lifted his pants >Sniffed it >And then buried it >The 9/10 goth girl fainted >Greg got sent to the office >And was sent home for the day >This is probably the first s--- he had in two weeks >Everyone flipped and got as far away from him as possible >Thursday, two weeks after the incident >Greg was back >If you think he was bad after a weekend of early 2000s Internet, Greg has been exposed for a full two weeks >He clearly hadn't showered, at all >He looked like he slept, ate and shat in the gray eared hoodie >He reeked >He also added a very poorly made tail to the back Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)07:55:32 No.631164486 >>631164732 >>631164845 >>631164983: >>631166575 >>631168956 >>631167039 >>631167740 >>631167974 File: XaviOda.jpg (19 KB, 320x240) >Greg had a bird >A half eaten bird >He was late because of this >Greg was late to class >Like really late >The poor teacher marked him absent >Half way through the treaty of Versailles guess who showed up TFW NO BELIEVE >We didn't see it at first, or for the next ten minutes >And then we heard it >A crunch >And not the normal granola kind >Like the wet, gross kind >The kind that something biting into a bone would make >The girl in front of Greg turned around >She flipped her s--- >Greg what the f---!" >Greg attempted to jump over a desk >He failed and landed face first on the tile >I was marginally impressed because he managed to catch a bird, kill it, and partially eat it > also wanted to throw up >Friday >Greg was tolerable that day, nothing happened >The following Monday >The teacher approached him and attempted to rescue the poor avian creature from this kic >Greg wasn't having it >He actually landed a bite on her >A bad one >Mike had enough of this s--- >Before he could react though Greg through his meal at him >The distraction worked >Luckily he had enough time to get up, spit out some blood and Naruto run out of the room >Somehow, he wasn't expelled for this >Our teacher missed two weeks of school because of an infection though. >So we only had our first class that day >For eight hours Anonymous 07/29/15(Wed)08:06:19 No.631166557 >>631166912 >>631166935 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167068 >>631168055 >>631168060 >>631168071 >>631168096 >>631168119 >>631168348 >>631169028 File: 1437626420912.jpg (298 KB, 1024x768) That Each >Then I see it >Is that? >No f------ way >H-------- >>631160790 >>631161301 >>631165562 >>631166956 >>631167039 >>631167974 >It's f------ Greg >On >We broke for lunch, nothing weird happened with Greg, yet. >When we got back though, s--- started happening >Slowly >Everyone had the post lunch sleeples >Half the class was napping at their terminals >The others were either working or goofing off >I was helping the 9/10 goth girl work on her Horror novel >Wasn't too bad except for some grammar errors >And we were flirting >S--- was cash >The substitute fell asleep at some point, leaving Greg free to do as he pleased >And he was really pleasing himself >I happened to glance up and catch it >Poorly drawn, early 2000s furry p--- >Greg was jacking it pretty hard >He must have just started because no one seems to have noticed yet >"Hey, Anon. What are you staring a- OH MY GOD." >The goth girl freaked out >This in turn drew attention to Greg >Who happened to start climaxing >The next five seconds was beautiful >About a week into our poor teacher's absence >The substitute put us in the computer lab to research some s--- >She sat right behind Greg >The screaming woke up the Sub >Greg panicked mid c-- >Instead of turning off the computer he pushed the monitor off the desk >He ended up getting c-- everywhere >After this incident he was handed to the tard wranglers >He was transferred out of regular classes >But this was not the end of Wolfman Greg >He pinned her to the table >And pretended to mount her >Thanks to her fatness and her odor, she was immune to Greg's smell barrier >Our schedule was f----- that day >They were having a assembly for 8th graders that would be attending next year Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:19:31 No.631168892 >>631169088 >>631169188 >>631189229 >>631189280 >>631169316 >>631169328 >>631109391 >>631169435 >>631169472 >>631169494 >>631169620 >>631169694 >>631169898 >>631169825 >>831165 File: 1431545810401.gif (1.5 MB, 250x213) 1/2 >8 Ball didn't take Greg's s---, except for letting him growl or whine once in a while >Near the end of Junior year we thought we had heard the last of Wolfman Greg >Nope >Lunch time >Marissa dropped out >8 Ball lost his job >That was the end of Wolfman Greg for high school >I was sitting with the Goth Girl, Marian and her gaggle of dark brooding sisters >Had a good view of the courtyard where the other tables were at >We were talking about Poe when it happened >The doors to the tard building burst open >And there was Greg > was horrified. >I watch him sprint out, howling >8 Ball no where to be seen >No one really cared or noticed the horror about to happen >Greg wondered around for a bit before singling out prey >This poor shy girl named Marissa >He snuck up behind her >Oh God >He had his d--- out and was rubbing it on the back of her sweater >Howling like a wolf the whole time >Everyone went ape s--- and scattered >This had to be the final straw >This went on for what felt like forever >Eventually he came up Marissa's back >8 Ball finally showed up after getting Arby's >Greg was expelled after this and labeled a sex offender >We went a month without Greg shenanigans >Everything was peaceful >leven managed to sleep with the goth girl a couple of times outside of class >Greg was even allowed to join us occasionally >He was heavily guarded by a wrangler though >He didn't speak much, but we nicknamed him "8 Ball" >My boner is ruined >It's loud too I have ONE more, this happened six months ago. Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:31:26 No.631171137 >>831171221 >>631171284 File: LTXeu.jpg (127 KB, 800x853) >I can f------ smell him through my helmet >I nearly puke To clarify, I meant Greg was allowed to join our class. Not join me in hitting that sweet pale ass in the back, and on the hood of my old CRX. I can drop that green text if anyone's interested >Six months ago >It's been fifteen years since seeing Greg >He had left my mind entirely >Driving through my old town to visit my folks a vintage Vespa >I am in f------ aw that he's got a sweet scooter and I'm on a second had liter bike >Nearly rear end a taxi >He pulls up next to me >Thankfully he doesn't recognize me >Manage to distance myself from him and get to my parents place >Dinner is fine, mom's doing great, blah blah. >Decide to meet up with some old friends for a ride >Step outside >See that f------ Vespa in the neighbor's drive way >Is that? >No >Ignore it and go cruise >Come home a few hours later >Vespa still there >Please no >Greg lives next door to my folks now >After talking to now 3/10 goth girl on Facebook >Greg's folks died and he inherited a large chunk of change >Bought the house next to my parents >is a complete neet. >Greg's f------ howling keeps me up until 3am >I finally >It's quiet now >Fall asleep and leave the later Anonymous 07/29/15 (Wed)08:38:56 No.631172339631172480 >>631172516 >>631172532 >>631172534 >>631172535 >>631172548 File: 1427957849766.png (97 KB, 460x470) >It happens again >The terror is replaced with rage no >Open my window >This is it >>631171137 >He doesn't do anything but browse the Internet probably and do Wolfman things >Try to not let this crush my soul and crawl into my old bunk bed to sleep for the night >As I'm drifting off to the though of making the Goth Girl of yesteryear swallow my c-- and calling me her owner I hear it >It's f------ howling >God dammit Greg fell asleep >Wake up the next morning >Go through the day with my folks a shell of my former self >That night next morning was dead >l inadvertently got him to kill himself >I don't know anything else >"Greg! It's 11 o'clock at night! I have to go home tomorrow and I need sleep! SHUT THE F--- UP" >Slam window >A few months mom calls me >The cops entered Greg's home due to a smell complaint >They found Greg >Greg

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Anon questions a trade deal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Be Russia >Convict some irrelevant woke black the female athlete for 9 months in prison for smuggling drugs >Not her first time in the country either, w-- did she expect to happen >Be Biden This has been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever 08/05/22(Fri)21:19:27 No.883351991 67 KB JPG >SenilePanic.jpg >Offer Putin the release of Viktor Bout in change for this Griner-woman >Viktor f------ Bout >The man known as the Merchant of Death, the dude that was the real life inspiration for the movie "Lord of War" How the hell is 9 months imprisonment for an idiotic black woman smuggling drugs the equivalent of a life sentence for one of the worst arms dealers of all time?

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A miscalculation | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a conspiracy theorist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 86W6Hhem M 100 mo OP W 08/05/22 (Fri)16:16:20 No.389782102 10 SAVAR 1659689533475364.jpg 288 KB JPG This guy is a Jew and his "business" is a front for money laundering, and Israel is most likely involved. 156 Replies / 33 Images View Thread

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Anon talks about Mr.Tate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: cnw/tKNd) 08/05/22 (Fri)19:28:29 No.389796069 mqdefault.jpg 15 KB JPG >be Eastern European >Seethe and rant about Russia non-stop >American mutt moves to your capital and sets up a gated compound from where he prostitutes your women >Do nothing >Openly bribes your police force >Do nothing >Flaunts his untouchable status as an American colonist >Do nothing This is your mind on American c--. Taliban would have this guy hanging from a lampost in a week, while Eastern Euros will take every throbbing inch. Absolute cucks Imao. View Thread

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It's simple, we uh, cut the calories | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Anonymous >>67848614 (OP) >When the potato chips are down, these fat "people" they'll eat each other 151 KB PNG Anonymous 08/04/22(Thu)19:48:34 No.67848688 10 KB JPG 35 KB JPG 08/04/22(Thu)19:53:04 No.67848713 >>67848688 >see I'm not fatphobic, I'm just ahead of the curb 08/04/22(Thu)20:02:32 No.67848783 >>67848713 >You break all these fasts and you think they'll save you

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Anon shakes a woman’s hand. | /r/Greentext

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Anon the joker tells a story | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/23/21(Thu)07:29:13 No.63625386 jokerscars.jpg 53 KB JPG >You wanna know how I got these strechmarks? >My father was a lifter... and a bloatlord >One day he skips a workout >Mommy calls him small and weak >He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit >He slaps my mother on the ass and turns to me >"Why so skinny?" >He comes at me with the mutant mass gainer >"Why so skinny?" >He sticks a full measuring cup of mutant mass in my mouth >"Lets put some mass on those bones" >>63625501 # >>63625764 # >>63626385 # >>63626767 # >>63626986 # >>63627067 # >>63627099 # >>63627193 # >>63627293 # >>63627327 # >>63627392 #

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anon like tacos | /r/Greentext

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Anon commits medical malpractice | /r/Greentext

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Anon has a good idea | /r/Greentext

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