Anon meets Tom Cruise | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG >>81355768 (OP) # sometimes i mast rbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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No More Fatties - Anon Ends Obesity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/03/22(Wed)17:40:02 No.883234526 EFOFD359-C771-4369-8241-E906006DBEFC.jpg 112 KB JPG >Fat people are disgusting >They will keep eating and getting fat, even though they know it will kill then >It's common to see people who are 300-400 pounds >They cost the healthcare system millions >They can get disability income for being fat >They refuse to diet and exercise >They are disgusting and selfish I have a solution >In the 19th century England would sentence prisoners to the treadmill >It was a giant wheel with steps. Prisoners endlessly climbed the steps for hours and hours, sometimes for years >What if every obese person was given 1 year to get fit. >If they don't get fit or if they get fat again, they are sentenced to the treadmill. No exceptions. >Attach the treadmills to a generator. The fatties lose weight and generate energy >This is the ultimate source of renewable energy and solves the obesity problem I call it Run Fatty Run

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sad greentext | /r/Greentext

08/03/22(Wed)11:34:42 No.27029734 My step dad has been chain smoking and drinking beer since he was 13. Hes in his 50s now and has about 5 teeth left which are rotten and he'll be having them removed and getting dentures. He has a mancave in the garage that hes had setup for 20 years complete with a desk, chairs, a fridge with a tv on top and he literally just sits out there alone, does cross words, watches sports, drinks and chain smokes. On the weekends he'll have some buddies over for beers but thats the extent of his social interactions. He drinks every single day and smokes 2 packs a day, no exaggerations. On the weekends my mom has to stay up late because he will pass out drunk and high in his chair in the garage with the doors open and my mom has to wake him up and tell him to come to bed. I haven't lived there on years but when I did live there when I was young he would fall asleep sitting up on the couch with his head tilted back. What compels a man to do this to himself? It's such a sad display to see. It's funny because despite all this he's been able to hold a respectable government job that pays damn well for 20+ years and he'll be able to retire very soon, but my mom told me once he retires then every night will be a weekend night for him, meaning he'll be getting so black out drink every night. He's already had a heart attack and had to have some heart surgery but he keeps drinking and smoking like there's no tomorrow. He's going to die and leave my mom alone for probably 20+ years. It's so sad to see someone abuse themselves like that. He just has absolutely zero desire to cut back on anything, he just loves getting f----- up. : Anonymous 214 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)11:36:44 No.27029743 : Anonymous >>27029734 (OP) # >he literally just sits out there alone, does cross words, watches sports, drinks and chain smokes how can one man be so based? 08/03/22(Wed)11:51:03 No.27029792 : Anonymous >>27029734 (OP) # Hey son. Stop posting about me and go to bed. But bring me a beer before you do

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Anon doesnt understand the fans | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/18 (Wed)14:31:38 No.77357278 36 KB JPG >be me >one of the most recognized artists of the past two decades >most people s--- on my latest releases and style >after four years with no solo album, releases a calm and emotional song pouring my heart and insecurities out and admitting I could be better >everybody s---- on it >releases highly anticipated album that includes all my different styles throughout the years >everybody s---- on it >releases verse going insane and s------- all over the fans and critics for giving me s--- nonstop >everybody f------ loves it

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Anon encounter magic | /r/Greentext

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Anon misses his bro | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/23/18 (Fri)10:10:38 No.43412282 >be me 13 years old > grew up in a f----- up home with manipulative and abusive parents > older brother quits his study in the midst of getting a PhD to get me and my little sister out of the house 38 KB JPG > living with him >haven't been happier in my life > practically saved our life > he forces me to keep my attention at school to accomplish something in my life, something he sacrificed for us > 2 years go by > he got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer > he never lost hope and always walked around with a smile > dies > 14 years of school and many degrees later > mfw I'm a certified orthopedic surgeon and I'd probably have killed myself if he wasn't there for us > i will never forget you bro

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Anon understands what it means to be French | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous vive la france 08/03/22(Wed)14:50:43 No.883213226 72 KB PNG >be me italian >open a french book once >understand what beeing french really means >being French means not taking a shower >to be French means to eat fried onions >being French means getting p----- off when something doesn't suit you >being French means you like to do it weird but you never do it >to be French means to believe that you are superior to everyone >in conclusion, to be French means to be incel >I am a proud Frenchman.

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Anon is making others smile | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/03/22(Wed)12:46:16 No.883201604 Hey Mr Poopiebutt poopiebutt poopie butt poopie butt, poopie butt? Poopie in the butt! >883201953 # View Thread >>883201604 (OP) # Hi Anon. I just wanted to say that I *love* the picture of Pepe you posted where he is smiling. Plus, you are talking about "poopie butt". That is SOOO F------ CUTE!!!! AWW!!! Here's a hug for making me smile --> *hugs* Please reply back with a hug! 08/03/22(Wed)12:52:49 No.883201810

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Anon doesn't understand music | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG 08/02/22(Tue)14:45:26 No.883185089 >compress the s--- out of tone >speed up audio >play obscure chords >tap OMG YOU'RE SO TALENTED Why do people like this s---?

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Germanon creates the best piece of literature known to man | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/06/16(Sun)15:36:19 No.710790240 Sorry for s------ English I'm Germany but today encountered I on Autismus the Street Autism Person >am me >walk happy down Street because I've new Headphoneset 131 KB JPG >then see I very very weirdo Person that runs and the Hands is flapping >Say him "Hello there, not normal!" >And he gived me instant Sorrow that I did that >follow me fast with much cry of "ÖÖÖNNNGHÜOÜÜÜHNN" though entire Street >he is fast and gives not f--- about car in Street that him is moving very fast >he becomes hit by Car >I run like Devil out of Scene

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Anon has hit cock bottom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 270 KB PNG 08/03/22(Wed)07:56:28 No.69664105 >ghosted by fat, 38 y/o, single mother Where do you eve go from here?

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Anon meets some Mormon Missionaries | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a duck | /r/Greentext

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