The Invention of Lying | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

255 58873B35-8DF0-40A4-9601-DCB806DCAD5B.jpg 32 KB JPG > be me > went out with qt3.14 once > I think she considered it as date > she is really shy and me aswell > we didn't even hold hands but we still write to each other on IG > told her that I am going to friend's birthday party and I will drink there > write her at 3AM "I woult f-- you hard af" > "anon you are just drunk" > "maibee bat I woult do it anyway" > "anon wanna come to my place tommorow we can watch movie" > mfw I wasnt drunk > mfw I didnt go to a birthday party > mfw It worked > mfw I wrote it with bad gramatic to look it as I am drunk af Ok anons my brain is just superior. Like how can I be this intelligent it shouldn't even be possible

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has had enough of you losers | /r/Greentext

Google 45 KB JPG >be me, Google >most ever existed knowledgeable being to have >power of billions of human minds combined >someone wakes me up what will be he want to learn from a source that can change his life forever >ask me for t--- >five minutes pass >asks me why he feels so lonely after jacking off >30 minutes pass >asks me which of his balls stores pee and which semen Am I a joke to you jerks

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anon hates tattoos | /r/Greentext

- File: bizfrog2.jpg (17 KB, 400x400) why do girls get hidden tattoos? Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue)19:56:33 No.69658791 [Reply] ► >>69661491 >talk to this girl >shes very cute/beautiful >first girl in my life i actually start catching feels for and had the balls to ask out >she says yes >we go on 3 dates and she looks more stunning on each one >she wants to take it further. >start undressing >notice a black reverse S on the side of her butt/upper thigh >ask what it is >says its a tattoo she got in college that she thought was cute >go flaccid so fast >lose all interest in her >tell her i forgot condoms in the car >she says she will wait for me upstairs very sultry >get in my car and drive off >get lot of missed calls and texts >block her number and her social media accounts. >never talk to her again man i thought i finally found the one and this s--- happens. im sulking for the last few days.

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No matsoc weeb trad celtic waifu | /r/Greentext

1/1 6'4" Philosopher King (OP) 2h (8/3 6:02) 69659173 8 Re 0 Img PNG 390KB (640 × < 640) 4 Replies $$ >6'4" >masculine >smart >funny >high 130s IQ >STILL no natsoc weeb trad celtic waifu How is this even possible? 2h (8/3 6:03) 69659180 you need to leave your room first anon : 000 :

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Anon puts his inner monkey to good use | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Javelin 14 KB JPG 08/02/22(Tue)17:06:00 No.883191206 >be me >kinda fat and non atheletic >plan to skip school sports day by just walking around during training. >see people throw javelins >mf when wanna go monkey mode >decided to throw a javelin for fun >throw it really far >h-------- it was one of the farthest javelin thrown and it sticks too >teacher saw me >immediately got forced to join the javelin throwing competition >my plan to skip sports day might not be so gloomy after all

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Anon is considering moving to canada | /r/Greentext

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Anon accidentally changes his life for the better | /r/Greentext

File: Feather-Hi-Stainless-Doub(...).jpg (66 KB, 1000x1000) TRADE MARK 71472 Hi-STAINLESS MADE IN JAPAN Anonymous 08/02/22 (Tue)09:36:53 No.883152507 >Be me, 1-16 >Spend days crying in a dark bedroom >Constantly bullied, fat, handful of "friends", no chance of a girlfriend, barely passing school. >Parents recognized that there was something wrong but my "traditionalist" father and useless mother figured I'd grow out of it >Taking zero care of myself, look like s--- >dad gets me a razor, tells me that I need to shave cause I look like a "hippy f------ slob" Pic related >Start to get more and more manic. >Literally begging my mom on my knees to get me some kind of professional help. "well, you know how your father feels about all that..." >Start drinking, then cutting myself. >Didn't want barcode arms, thought that was for p---- emos, so I'd carve patterns and drawings into my chest with the razor then giggle while I saw the blood dripping down. >"Friend" of mine notices I'm being weirder >I get drunk one day at like 8 AM then laugh and send her a pic of my chest with all the carvings cause I thought the designs looked cool. "why would you send me that dude, that's f------ horrifying." >Go to bathroom and start to slit my wrist. >Hadn't bothered to get new blades, so I did it with the dull ass "training blade" that came with the razor. >after cutting halfway through my wrist and realizing how much work it's taking to cut and how much it hurt Why? I stop >Patch myself up (pretty extensive first aid training/experience for a teenager) >walk downstairs to do something, don't even remember what cause I was so woozy. >mom notices I'm pale and crying. "What's going on?". >Try to hide it at first, break down and tell her the whole thing. She gets me to a therapist, I get diagnosed with, like, 8 mental illnesses. On pills now. >Finally stabilize and have motivation to do things. >Grind the f--- out of APS and SAT prep and manage to pull a 1500 out of my ass. >get into a top 300 uni (in the world) >Top of my class in multiple courses >Happy relationship >Fit af The single best thing I did for my life was trying to end it.

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anon does some self reflection | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 234 KB PNG 6 Replies 08/01/22(Mon)23:07:46 No.883140170 You are a disgusting human being View Thread

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/an/on doesn’t want a chinchilla | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/26/22(Tue)17:00:21 No.4251819 >go to PetSmart to look for large front- opening snake enclosures >cute little retarded ball python for sale with MY NAME IS SANTIAGO written on the glass 42 KB JPG >reptile section is next to the rodents >as I'm looking at terrariums a middle aged man of an indeterminate Slavic ethnicity points directly at me and loudly informs me I need a chinchilla >tells me the chinchillas are on sale so buy two >listing off the alleged benefits of chinchilla ownership and why they're the ideal pet >"Actually I just came to look at tanks-" >"NO YOU BUY CHINCHILLAS" >they don't have any enclosures larger than a 40 gallon >end up just awkwardly leaving as he is still trying to shill chinchillas to me Anonymous >>4251828 # >>4251874 # >>4256445 # >>4257446 # >>4257484 # 07/26/22(Tue)17:20:44 No.4251828 >>4251819 # >he didn't buy at least two chinchillada what is your problem, man

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Anon goes to the bathroom | /r/Greentext

48 KB JPG >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

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old Anon reminds us of the golden years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)02:35:47 No.69645624 > Be me > 89 years old > in my 20s during the 1950s > literally the greatest f------ time to be a man > I could work 36 hours a week and afford a gigantic nice home 1.4 MB PNG > didn't have to worry about internet, politics, PC culture, or any sort of non-essential distractions of life that actually make life existentially way worse. > I could have sex with my wife at any time and she would be happy and ready to and she loved it. > never had sex with anyone i didn't love because i had morals and a good head on my shoulders and no outside influences such as TV show characters or celebrities that were idolized for sex culture. > all woman were wonderful and understood their imporant role in society, which was helping to raise a fun family that made America a better place > ice cream was so much better back then > My attention span was the size of a small country and I could literally focus on anything and achieve whatever i needed to >I feel sorry for you modern day f------ and you truly did miss out on the greatest time of life

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anon appreciates bussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous transwomen 892 B PNG based. appreciation 08/01/22(Mon)23:28:13 No.883141053 Trans women destroy women's sports, jobs, and identity, while also providing their warm wet holes for us cis males to enjoy, plus they do not bitch and scream and cry about feminism. We need to support transwomen for being dangerously 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anon is frustrated | /r/Greentext

291 KB PNG >can't hold cash because inflation >can't hold stocks because crashing >can't hold crypto because crashing >can't hold gold because manipulated >can't hold assets because interest rates crashing market >can't short due scamwicks Anonymous (ID: CA/T2/T7) 06/11/22(Sat) 19:04:03 No.49539975 you're gonna hold that spatula and be happy

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