Anon goes to the bathroom | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

48 KB JPG >be me, 19 >in college >arrive at college before class started, needed to s--- before first class >get to the bathroom and open the door >prof is in there s-------, door wide open >w--.jpg >stare at each other for a few secs >he holds his hand out to close the door >i shake his hand

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext plant

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: png

Resolution: (700px x 352px)

File size: 248 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,687 Images

More:

old Anon reminds us of the golden years | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)02:35:47 No.69645624 > Be me > 89 years old > in my 20s during the 1950s > literally the greatest f------ time to be a man > I could work 36 hours a week and afford a gigantic nice home 1.4 MB PNG > didn't have to worry about internet, politics, PC culture, or any sort of non-essential distractions of life that actually make life existentially way worse. > I could have sex with my wife at any time and she would be happy and ready to and she loved it. > never had sex with anyone i didn't love because i had morals and a good head on my shoulders and no outside influences such as TV show characters or celebrities that were idolized for sex culture. > all woman were wonderful and understood their imporant role in society, which was helping to raise a fun family that made America a better place > ice cream was so much better back then > My attention span was the size of a small country and I could literally focus on anything and achieve whatever i needed to >I feel sorry for you modern day f------ and you truly did miss out on the greatest time of life

Pin

anon appreciates bussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous transwomen 892 B PNG based. appreciation 08/01/22(Mon)23:28:13 No.883141053 Trans women destroy women's sports, jobs, and identity, while also providing their warm wet holes for us cis males to enjoy, plus they do not bitch and scream and cry about feminism. We need to support transwomen for being dangerously 15 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

Pin

Anon is frustrated | /r/Greentext

291 KB PNG >can't hold cash because inflation >can't hold stocks because crashing >can't hold crypto because crashing >can't hold gold because manipulated >can't hold assets because interest rates crashing market >can't short due scamwicks Anonymous (ID: CA/T2/T7) 06/11/22(Sat) 19:04:03 No.49539975 you're gonna hold that spatula and be happy

Pin

Anon isn't likeable | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 799 KB PNG 1 Reply / 1 Image : Anonymous YOU ARE A DUMBIN CHILLCANDAOXETTURE CITE OOOOHILLA UITHEONAT MERELY 74 KB JPG 07/30/22(Sat)05:36:42 No.882966785 Being a "friend" doesn't mean you're interesting, endearing, or even all that likeable. It just means that you're tolerable, and not unwelcomed without actually being welcomed. View Thread 07/30/22(Sat)05:38:20 No.882966839 Sounds like you aren't all that likeable.

Pin

Anon is perfectly prepared in case a girl comes over. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/05/15(Mon)18:26:20 No. 9083983890839936 >>90840020 >>90840103 >>90840114 >>90840190 >>90840484 >>90840512 >>90840575 >>90840794 File: game and watch.png (32 KB, 1230x394) Room Mood: Tense Very fast attack A powerful move 1 Move 2 Pump standard attack 3 Down smash hammers 4 Up smash diving helmet 5 Side smash Match 6 Side tilt chair Down tilt manhole Up tilt flag 9 Aerial Fish 10 Aeriel Box 11 Aeriel Turtle 7 8 12 Aeriel air pump 13 Aeriel Key 14 Juggle Throw 15 Bell Taunt 16 Bucket Catch 17 Oil Spill 18 Food Throw 19 Hammer 20 Parachute 21 Final Smash 22 Another strong move That is a strong move He should use that for sitting Manholes are usually on public roads I enjoyed k'naans wavin flag, he looks like G&W Really well animated A strong move Probably my best attack You can move to avoid this That is a meteor smash I threw you *do not do this* Watch out for my oil attack. That will kill some sealife Looks like a standard wok This move is luck based They use parachutes to sky dive Damn, I should win now Room Mood: Fun I'm getting pumped! I'm going to STRIKE you down! I think you better sit this one out Maybe he can use that match to light some scented candles for later Only one chair... maybe you can sit on my face I prefer a womanhole It isn't a red flag.... You don't have any red flags either, you're gf material I know a fish called aerial... the little mermaid. Almost as pretty as you. Maybe you could put your box in the air haha My foreskin makes my penis look like a turtle That move pushes you up... is that a push up bra? He really came down hard, just like I'm coming down hard with the love bug I hate to juggle, but I'd like to snuggle Would you like to play with MY ding a ling? I hope your bucket has a bigger capacity because I can go 10 times I have some massage oil in my bag if you'd like a massage (bring oil) I'm going to FLIP any minute now I bet you have another name for throwing your food..... Spitting hehe This little piggy had roast beef... this little piggy had NINE! So how would you rate our chances of sex 1 to 9? I'd like to go skydiving one day I'd like to go skydiving with you one day, maybe skydiving into bed I'll get you... sucker! haha, I'd tentacle r--- you if I was an Octopus! I WAVE the right to lose this match Go fish! Room Mood: Flirty I would like to pump you Go Box! I'll make your life a living shell! I believe you can fly (sing in r kelly voice) This move is KEY to my victory I like CLOWNING around (clowns juggle) I bet losing to me rings some bells Have my oil, I hope I don't bucket up Oil win this match for sure! Guys, I've invited a girl here to play Smash later on. She is cute and I think I could be able to lose my virginity but I want to make her think I am charming I made this list of puns (still working on it) and one liners for every G&W move because he is my main. I will say them when I do moves and hopefully make her laugh. I have also listed lines for when the room is tense, that wn't annoy her, and ones for when it becomes a flirty atmosphere so I can progress to having sex with her. Can you read through and see what you think? Will the flirty lines work?

Pin

anon is a security guard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/21 (Sat)06:40:51 No.61783638 >>61783639 File: busy at work.jpg (983 KB, 1780x1780) LOKA >>61783628 >be me >be NEET for 7, almost 8 years >depression and anxiety >live in childhood room at my parents place >start looking online for stuff to do >see commercial for Securitas guards >"huh" >start checking it out, find out there's a course in just a month >sign up >get my security guard license pretty quickly >look for jobs >local hospital hiring a guard >apply >get answer within 5 hours >go to interview >they hire me almost immediately as a night guard >get the most chill job on the planet >have my own "chill corner" in one of the hallways where the cute nurses take their coffee break >get a comfy bed to chill in >spend most nights just reading or watching youtube/browsing /int/ >sometimes toss out a drunken fool or junkie looking for drugs Pic related is my life at night.

Pin

i personally would not have replied with “nice!” but that’s just me | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Epic weekend I found out the reason for my genetic disorder. It's not because I ate fireplace ash as a child, it's actually because my parents are siblings! They passed it on to me before giving me to my current parents. Also I learned I'm adopted. Amazing. No matter how old you get, you never stop learning R 98 KB PNG 1 Reply 08/01/22(Mon)23:44:11 No.883141661 Anonymous >>883141661 (OP) # nice! View Thread 08/02/22(Tue)00:10:18 No.883142534

Pin

anon is a moron | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 65 KB JPG 08/01/22(Mon)23:31:33 No.883141176 >be me, 21 year old kissless virgin >Decent looking >never been on date >Sister has friends over, a bunch of childhood friends >One is my childhood crush, super cute and only a year younger than me >Sitting up in my room, playing vidya chilling out >Tiny knock on door, I tell them to come in >It's childhood friend >OHSHIT.png >she comes over and sits on my bed >we make small talk, i show her vidya >she asks to hit my vape which is werid i never knew her as a nic person >after that she basically calls me loser and walks out 6 Replies >play vidya again >She bursts back in and kisses me in my chair >We both break off in sync >she says "pleasure doing buisness with you" in a silly way and waltzes out of my room again. What did she mean by this. View Thread

Pin

Anon notice someone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 12+uJPrg) 10/26/20(Mon)19:23:14 No.28500 Iraq: Saddam Hussein's right-hand man dies after years as fugitive IMG_20201027_002155.jpg 76 KB JPG JESSE JESSE DO NOT TALK TO THE UNITED NATIONS

Pin

/b/ saves anon from zoophile | /r/Greentext

File: 91189AD3-D728-402E-BA9D-F(...).jpg (47 KB, 618x496) Standard night shift Anonymous 08/02/22(Tue)13:39:32 No.883150420 [Reply] >work night shift >get on the tinder, start talking to 8/10 >decides she wants to meet up after work >im_in.jpg >pick her up, go for a drive >make out like our lives depend on it >take her back home, she invites me in and warns me her dog will be excited to meet me >no fear at all, ready to commit for life anyway >get in the door, hear the excitement of a German shepherd in the distance, getting closer >jumps all over me, it's dark but I notice there are big wooly socks over his front paws >remember I've seen it somewhere before >remember I've seen it on /b/ before >instantheartfailure.jpg >decide I need to get tf out of this b--------- hut and make an excuse >"i should go, it's late and I have work tomorrow" >asks me to stay, I can't help but blurt it out because I'm f------ autistic >no I don't want to be around someone that f---- their dog >explain how and where I've seen socks like that on dogs before >said it rather loud, but got the point across >hear a yell from a room down the hallway >"whAt the f--- 8/10" >she breaks down and starts crying, shocked and speechless >her mum storms out, turns out she lives with her parents, they had no idea either >gets the f--- out of there faster than Usain >hear more yelling as I drive off Thank you /b/ for educating me on this one, I owe you one

Pin

anon has a mug moment | /r/Greentext

Pin

Such is European life | /r/Greentext

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes