Anon buys a Spinach | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 03/09/17(Thu)23:06:28 No.8666680 363 KB JPG Bought baby spinach for the first time. About 70% of the leaves felt like rubber. Why did they feel like rubber? Anonymous >>8666680 (OP) >he fell for the rubber spinach Oldest trick in the book. 03/09/17(Thu)23:15:29 No.8666720

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Outweighing the popular opinion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)11:41:22 No.69548157 >am a femanon taking a freshman political class in college >professor says that they're going to start off with a little exercise to demonstrate how public opinion works >asks everyone to "anonymously write something you believe on a piece of paper, but it has to be something you would never tell anyone" 12 KB JPG >can't write anything shocking or racist, yada yada, even if it may fit the assignment because of school rules >it comes time to read the responses to the class >8 out of the 22 responses are guys admitting that they find fat girls attractive (we have 15 guys in the class) >"Chubby girls are cute" >"Fat women are hot" >"I don't like skinny women. I want a girl who's a little big." >etc. >the two fat girls in the class react differently >Fat Girl A, a sort of unshapely nerdy type, gets real awkward >Fat Girl B, def overweight but with curves and a pretty face, like a plus size model type, looks awkward too but is obviously happy >when it comes time to raise our hands and see how many people would publicly admit it, nobody does Why don't guys just admit it if over half of them think this way?

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Anons Across A female Enemy Soldier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 124 KB JPG 11/18/18(Sun)18:13:18 No.397551 >Oh hey anon! I'm an enemy soldier but please don't shoot me. I was forced to be in the front line for this war but I really don't want to be here. Please mercy How do you respond? : Anonymous >>39755182 (OP) # Only thing I feel is recoil : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:04 No.397551 >>39755487 # >>39756428 # >>39756534 # >>39756723 # >>39758615 # Shoot her 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:11 No.397551 >>39756057 # >>39758413 #

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Anon makes a delicious point | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/05/22 (Wed)19:44:32 No.161832326 file.png 422 KB PNG >As you can see, Peter, yes. I have betrayed our people. But you don't understand. You don't understand the heaven that is going up to your pelvis in dark meat. They really are like animals, just like my father always told me. "No son of mine would be caught dead courting a nigress." But once you've had a taste, Sally from Sunday school who was saving herself for our marriage just doesn't cut it anymore. I was 25 when I had my first rumble in the jungle. And you know what I did, Peter? For 15 years I prowled street corners sweeping up every black mama I could find. Big ones, fat ones, short ones, tall ones. Fatherless half-breeds litter the streets of New York. They still tell stories about me in Harlem, hoots from old ladies about Adrian "Massa" Toomes and his bag of whips. What I'm saying, Pete, is if you're gonna do this, you better go all the way. Show my daughter why we've been running the world for thousands of years.

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Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat) 18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" 23 KB JPG >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank

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Average late 20's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/22(Thu)14:13:22 No.26946522 3515.jpg 33 KB JPG >work 11 hours a day >come home EXHAUSTED #1426231 >i have to deal with incompetent bosses and d--- sucking coworkers without an ounce of dignity that suck up such incompetent bosses out of a chance of getting a promotion but slack off and dont work hard >come home and there is no dinner ready >laundry accumulated >useless woman laying in the couch with the excuse that "she works too" but i pay most of the bills anyway because she waste all of her money >she demand sex and to take her to a restaurant afterwards because she can't cook for s--- >she actually thinks sex is a "reward" for me when i only want to sleep the next 8 hours so i can go work fresh in the morning >tell her to f--- off >she is a literal roastie with double digits body count but somehow she acts passive and "inexperienced" so im the one that has to provide her an orgasm first >she actually talks about marriage >this is the life i have in my late 20's after working so hard and studyng so much in college MFW

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Anon is a stalker | /r/Greentext

File: thirsty.jpg (80 KB, 1200x700) Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)15:26:16 No.882669137 [Reply] ►>>8826 >>882669137 (OP) enjoy the stalking charges >be me >28yo kissless virgin >get job and get a tour around office by a qt 24yo >use internal company database and find out where she lives >plan on casually walking around her neighborhood until I bump into her Is this a solid plan? + 2 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)15:33:59 No.882669408 ►

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/an/on gets a piece of ancient Chinese advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 Replies 1 Image my parents dog continues to bark AFTER I take the package from the postman. at ME. how do I get it to shut the f--- up? : Anonymous euthanasia Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)06:39:34 No.4250360 1642067796535.jpg 24 KB JPG >>4250360 (OP) # Kill it, cut it, cook it, eat it. View Thread 07/25/22(Mon)06:56:05 No.4250366 shutterstock.com.1021773679 chink emoji.jpg 111 KB JPG 07/25/22(Mon)07:00:40 No.4250370

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anon enjoys statistics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous REDDIT MOMENT 62 KB JPG 07/25/22 (Mon)06:12:14 No.882668760 Anonymous >18% of Americans use Reddit. 57 KB JPG >There are 430,000,000 Reddit users. >48% of 430,000,000 is 206,400,000. >48% of them are American. >The population of America is 329,500,000. >206,400,000 is 76% of the US population. What's wrong with this picture? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 07/25/22 (Mon) 08:40:39 No.882669700 >>882668760 (OP) # just got banned today

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Anon hates his landlord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 200z/yXo) 91 KB PNG 07/22/22(Fri)20:12:18 No.50506905 >landlord bought property 10 years ago >costs are largely fixed due mortgage >value of property has gone up so he makes money by doing nothing >still sent me a notice of 30% rent increase Why are they like this? How many cans of tuna should I hide in the ceiling/ventilation ducts?

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Anon's gf isn't his | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous gf isn't a virgin but things a(...) 9 KB JPG 07/19/22(Tue)04:00:21 No.26929365 >meet girl a few months ago >she initiates sex early on >passionate about sex, implies she has had it before >fall in love because I rarely get laid and the chemistry is great >enter relationship >start realising how bad it feels that she f----- other guys >by now she's changed her life plans for at least the rest of the year for me, plus lots of emotional and financial investment >this includes travelling around Europe together in Sept. (plane tickets booked by her, not cheap) >feel jealous/cucked that I didn't take her virginity She's very pretty and I don't exactly have the immediate option of dating a virgin, so do I stick with it? She's be the perfect partner if she was a virgin. If I'd had more sex before her I probably wouldn't feel so bad, but I haven't, so I do.

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anon is too far in | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OSUjyDaO) [ Esquire 85 KB JPG 6 Replies 07/24/22(Sun)08:08:52 No.15796056 >don't want to fap to 2d girls >fap to 2d traps This has to stop View Thread

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Anon likes diablo: immortal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>873789 (OP) # Personally I love Diablo: Immortal. I spent over $250k on in-game purchases, and it has shown me the true path to enlightenment. After losing my wife, kids, car, job, and home to afford the addiction, I found that while I had spent more, I had less. Diablo: Immortal taught me how to live a life without material possessions. It was only after stripping me of everything I've ever loved did I know true happiness in freeing myself of the burden of having any money at all. I now live in the woods, living off the fat of the land. I hunt to survive and have become nomadic, befriending various forest creatures and embarking on magical forest journeys, then return to my cave and new family of Orangutans. I only occasionally return to society to access McDonalds wi-fi to preach the new good word of Diablo: Immortal. 07/23/22(Sat)13:55:10 No.927323

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