Anon pulls a prank | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 03/09/19(Sat) 18:02:25 No.794558144 >tell f----- brother he just got pranked >"how?" 23 KB JPG >tell him to look in his room >he spends 10 minutes looking for the prank >there was no prank >mfw that was the prank

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Average late 20's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/21/22(Thu)14:13:22 No.26946522 3515.jpg 33 KB JPG >work 11 hours a day >come home EXHAUSTED #1426231 >i have to deal with incompetent bosses and d--- sucking coworkers without an ounce of dignity that suck up such incompetent bosses out of a chance of getting a promotion but slack off and dont work hard >come home and there is no dinner ready >laundry accumulated >useless woman laying in the couch with the excuse that "she works too" but i pay most of the bills anyway because she waste all of her money >she demand sex and to take her to a restaurant afterwards because she can't cook for s--- >she actually thinks sex is a "reward" for me when i only want to sleep the next 8 hours so i can go work fresh in the morning >tell her to f--- off >she is a literal roastie with double digits body count but somehow she acts passive and "inexperienced" so im the one that has to provide her an orgasm first >she actually talks about marriage >this is the life i have in my late 20's after working so hard and studyng so much in college MFW

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Anon is a stalker | /r/Greentext

File: thirsty.jpg (80 KB, 1200x700) Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)15:26:16 No.882669137 [Reply] ►>>8826 >>882669137 (OP) enjoy the stalking charges >be me >28yo kissless virgin >get job and get a tour around office by a qt 24yo >use internal company database and find out where she lives >plan on casually walking around her neighborhood until I bump into her Is this a solid plan? + 2 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)15:33:59 No.882669408 ►

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/an/on gets a piece of ancient Chinese advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 Replies 1 Image my parents dog continues to bark AFTER I take the package from the postman. at ME. how do I get it to shut the f--- up? : Anonymous euthanasia Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)06:39:34 No.4250360 1642067796535.jpg 24 KB JPG >>4250360 (OP) # Kill it, cut it, cook it, eat it. View Thread 07/25/22(Mon)06:56:05 No.4250366 shutterstock.com.1021773679 chink emoji.jpg 111 KB JPG 07/25/22(Mon)07:00:40 No.4250370

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anon enjoys statistics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous REDDIT MOMENT 62 KB JPG 07/25/22 (Mon)06:12:14 No.882668760 Anonymous >18% of Americans use Reddit. 57 KB JPG >There are 430,000,000 Reddit users. >48% of 430,000,000 is 206,400,000. >48% of them are American. >The population of America is 329,500,000. >206,400,000 is 76% of the US population. What's wrong with this picture? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 07/25/22 (Mon) 08:40:39 No.882669700 >>882668760 (OP) # just got banned today

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Anon hates his landlord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 200z/yXo) 91 KB PNG 07/22/22(Fri)20:12:18 No.50506905 >landlord bought property 10 years ago >costs are largely fixed due mortgage >value of property has gone up so he makes money by doing nothing >still sent me a notice of 30% rent increase Why are they like this? How many cans of tuna should I hide in the ceiling/ventilation ducts?

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Anon's gf isn't his | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous gf isn't a virgin but things a(...) 9 KB JPG 07/19/22(Tue)04:00:21 No.26929365 >meet girl a few months ago >she initiates sex early on >passionate about sex, implies she has had it before >fall in love because I rarely get laid and the chemistry is great >enter relationship >start realising how bad it feels that she f----- other guys >by now she's changed her life plans for at least the rest of the year for me, plus lots of emotional and financial investment >this includes travelling around Europe together in Sept. (plane tickets booked by her, not cheap) >feel jealous/cucked that I didn't take her virginity She's very pretty and I don't exactly have the immediate option of dating a virgin, so do I stick with it? She's be the perfect partner if she was a virgin. If I'd had more sex before her I probably wouldn't feel so bad, but I haven't, so I do.

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anon is too far in | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OSUjyDaO) [ Esquire 85 KB JPG 6 Replies 07/24/22(Sun)08:08:52 No.15796056 >don't want to fap to 2d girls >fap to 2d traps This has to stop View Thread

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Anon likes diablo: immortal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>873789 (OP) # Personally I love Diablo: Immortal. I spent over $250k on in-game purchases, and it has shown me the true path to enlightenment. After losing my wife, kids, car, job, and home to afford the addiction, I found that while I had spent more, I had less. Diablo: Immortal taught me how to live a life without material possessions. It was only after stripping me of everything I've ever loved did I know true happiness in freeing myself of the burden of having any money at all. I now live in the woods, living off the fat of the land. I hunt to survive and have become nomadic, befriending various forest creatures and embarking on magical forest journeys, then return to my cave and new family of Orangutans. I only occasionally return to society to access McDonalds wi-fi to preach the new good word of Diablo: Immortal. 07/23/22(Sat)13:55:10 No.927323

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Ngl fellas, I’m wondering what the future memes hold for us | /r/Greentext

>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like I've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >I snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw

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Anon had a smol cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 64 KB JPG 02/21/22(Mon )05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat

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Hipsters getting deported | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/15(Mon)13:26:43 No.26835828 >>26835846 >>26835868 >>26835881 >>26835911 >>26835954>>26836035>>26837329 >>26839564 File: 1432861912568.png (314 KB, 710x781) >26835391 >"I am not a US Citizen, I am a free inhabitant of the earth" H--------, F------ TUMBLR WETBACKS. Reminds of the SJWs who got deported to Cambodia at the border a while back during my watch. Its funny because they were originally from Mexico and were brought to the U.S at a young age and never got their citizenship or green card s--- >Be me at U.S-Mex border california >Doing routine checks and what not >People following rules and laws no problem what soever >Catch some illegal b------ all the time >Then comes this Fiat with some Hipster b----- guys and girl >Damn they can fit in there? Skinny as hell though >Hello there >"Hai" "Hey" "Yo" "HEYYY" >Got your papers or passport? >"No but we're citizens and we're pleading the 5th" >Stare at them disbelief and outright anger >Excuse me? >"You heard us so please let us be on our way you can't touch us because under article-" >GET THE F--- OUT OF THE VEHICLE >Cue panic mode for them screaming some b------- clause about they have the right to travel between countries freely because they're not tied to some quasi NAFTA conspiracy of the North American union or some s--- like that >Hold them and can't seem to find any information on them >They refuse to talk >Ok sure fine >Swift paper work and send them to detention center >Still refuse to talk >Some guy from homeland security interviews them >Get their life stories >But they have no paper work. Nothing whatsoever not even finger prints or dental records >"Well s--- pick a country and deport them to it" >"Why not Mexico?" >"Too easy they'll just come right back" >OHH I GOT A GOOD ONE, Cambodia >Whole team laughs and says done >File paper work >2 weeks later they're deported to Cambodia >MFW We can deport people anywhere we want if they have no paper work and we're not able to "determine" their country of origin.

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Anon is a cute cat | /r/Greentext

File: 33326dcddbf15c56d631e374b(...).jpg (43 KB, 690x921) Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)13:19:03 No.882623391 >>882624719 >be cat >very cute cat >meow all day > I have fun being cat. Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)13:42:54 No.882624719 >>882623391 (OP) Cat's live the best lives on this planet. Beautiful, adorable creatures.

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