/an/on gets a piece of ancient Chinese advice | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 4 Replies 1 Image my parents dog continues to bark AFTER I take the package from the postman. at ME. how do I get it to shut the f--- up? : Anonymous euthanasia Anonymous 07/25/22(Mon)06:39:34 No.4250360 1642067796535.jpg 24 KB JPG >>4250360 (OP) # Kill it, cut it, cook it, eat it. View Thread 07/25/22(Mon)06:56:05 No.4250366 shutterstock.com.1021773679 chink emoji.jpg 111 KB JPG 07/25/22(Mon)07:00:40 No.4250370

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anon enjoys statistics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous REDDIT MOMENT 62 KB JPG 07/25/22 (Mon)06:12:14 No.882668760 Anonymous >18% of Americans use Reddit. 57 KB JPG >There are 430,000,000 Reddit users. >48% of 430,000,000 is 206,400,000. >48% of them are American. >The population of America is 329,500,000. >206,400,000 is 76% of the US population. What's wrong with this picture? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread 07/25/22 (Mon) 08:40:39 No.882669700 >>882668760 (OP) # just got banned today

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Anon hates his landlord | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 200z/yXo) 91 KB PNG 07/22/22(Fri)20:12:18 No.50506905 >landlord bought property 10 years ago >costs are largely fixed due mortgage >value of property has gone up so he makes money by doing nothing >still sent me a notice of 30% rent increase Why are they like this? How many cans of tuna should I hide in the ceiling/ventilation ducts?

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Anon's gf isn't his | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous gf isn't a virgin but things a(...) 9 KB JPG 07/19/22(Tue)04:00:21 No.26929365 >meet girl a few months ago >she initiates sex early on >passionate about sex, implies she has had it before >fall in love because I rarely get laid and the chemistry is great >enter relationship >start realising how bad it feels that she f----- other guys >by now she's changed her life plans for at least the rest of the year for me, plus lots of emotional and financial investment >this includes travelling around Europe together in Sept. (plane tickets booked by her, not cheap) >feel jealous/cucked that I didn't take her virginity She's very pretty and I don't exactly have the immediate option of dating a virgin, so do I stick with it? She's be the perfect partner if she was a virgin. If I'd had more sex before her I probably wouldn't feel so bad, but I haven't, so I do.

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anon is too far in | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: OSUjyDaO) [ Esquire 85 KB JPG 6 Replies 07/24/22(Sun)08:08:52 No.15796056 >don't want to fap to 2d girls >fap to 2d traps This has to stop View Thread

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Anon likes diablo: immortal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>873789 (OP) # Personally I love Diablo: Immortal. I spent over $250k on in-game purchases, and it has shown me the true path to enlightenment. After losing my wife, kids, car, job, and home to afford the addiction, I found that while I had spent more, I had less. Diablo: Immortal taught me how to live a life without material possessions. It was only after stripping me of everything I've ever loved did I know true happiness in freeing myself of the burden of having any money at all. I now live in the woods, living off the fat of the land. I hunt to survive and have become nomadic, befriending various forest creatures and embarking on magical forest journeys, then return to my cave and new family of Orangutans. I only occasionally return to society to access McDonalds wi-fi to preach the new good word of Diablo: Immortal. 07/23/22(Sat)13:55:10 No.927323

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Ngl fellas, I’m wondering what the future memes hold for us | /r/Greentext

>Be me, old f----- >Year 2080 >Grandkids come in >"Grandad look at this funny meme" >Proceeds to show me a glowing tesseract that sucks me in and makes me feel like I've just been imprisoned in a nightmarish hellscape for 10,000 years >falling through an endless tunnel of razorblades >bleeding out of every orifice >Ohgodmakeitstop >Ear-splitting noise and red light flashes before my eyes >I snap back to reality covered in sweat and vomit on the floor >"How funny is that Grandad Imaooo" >Mfw

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Anon had a smol cat | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 64 KB JPG 02/21/22(Mon )05:53:52 No.67519006 >be me >10 years old >my mom just bought a cat >very cute and smol >black with white paws >fast foward 12 years >over the last 3 years i got more and more depressed >no matter how depressed I got I never cried >always felt like I had no valve to release my sadness >cute smol cat is now cute old cat >has always cheered me up to see her lying in my bed >would die for her >one day cat starts to behave different >doesnt eat, always tired >drive to vet >she has a kidney disease >vet told that she doesnt have long >after that it gets worse >I decided to euthanize her so she can go in peace >after the euthanasia I sit in my car >started crying for almost 1 hour >all the feelings inside me bursted out >really felt good thank you for helping me for the last time my cute smol cat

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Hipsters getting deported | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/10/15(Mon)13:26:43 No.26835828 >>26835846 >>26835868 >>26835881 >>26835911 >>26835954>>26836035>>26837329 >>26839564 File: 1432861912568.png (314 KB, 710x781) >26835391 >"I am not a US Citizen, I am a free inhabitant of the earth" H--------, F------ TUMBLR WETBACKS. Reminds of the SJWs who got deported to Cambodia at the border a while back during my watch. Its funny because they were originally from Mexico and were brought to the U.S at a young age and never got their citizenship or green card s--- >Be me at U.S-Mex border california >Doing routine checks and what not >People following rules and laws no problem what soever >Catch some illegal b------ all the time >Then comes this Fiat with some Hipster b----- guys and girl >Damn they can fit in there? Skinny as hell though >Hello there >"Hai" "Hey" "Yo" "HEYYY" >Got your papers or passport? >"No but we're citizens and we're pleading the 5th" >Stare at them disbelief and outright anger >Excuse me? >"You heard us so please let us be on our way you can't touch us because under article-" >GET THE F--- OUT OF THE VEHICLE >Cue panic mode for them screaming some b------- clause about they have the right to travel between countries freely because they're not tied to some quasi NAFTA conspiracy of the North American union or some s--- like that >Hold them and can't seem to find any information on them >They refuse to talk >Ok sure fine >Swift paper work and send them to detention center >Still refuse to talk >Some guy from homeland security interviews them >Get their life stories >But they have no paper work. Nothing whatsoever not even finger prints or dental records >"Well s--- pick a country and deport them to it" >"Why not Mexico?" >"Too easy they'll just come right back" >OHH I GOT A GOOD ONE, Cambodia >Whole team laughs and says done >File paper work >2 weeks later they're deported to Cambodia >MFW We can deport people anywhere we want if they have no paper work and we're not able to "determine" their country of origin.

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Anon is a cute cat | /r/Greentext

File: 33326dcddbf15c56d631e374b(...).jpg (43 KB, 690x921) Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)13:19:03 No.882623391 >>882624719 >be cat >very cute cat >meow all day > I have fun being cat. Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)13:42:54 No.882624719 >>882623391 (OP) Cat's live the best lives on this planet. Beautiful, adorable creatures.

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Anon needs a punchline | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Slave Freeding forms 115 KB JPG 07/15/22(Fri)01:56:23 No.69414291 >just found out slaveowners had literal slave breeding farms where they would try and breed as many slaves as possible so they could have more slaves guys im starting to think maybe racism isnt 'based' and we're actually being a bit insensitive

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Femanon’s struggle | /r/Greentext

Anonymous XX 123 KB PNG 11/30/21(Tue)01:34:06 No.66357429 >like dungeons and dragons, other "nerdy" hobbies >try to join gaming groups >some of the boys always fall in love with me >a girl??? that shares my hobby??? >I must claim her p---- for my own!!! >it ruins the group even when I do nothing via simping and infighting >other guys actually blame you for this somehow It sucks to be a femoid, really. You cannot just have a normal hobby, men WILL make it about your vagina and their desire to f--- you.

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Anon accidentally reveals his power level | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 178 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)16:15:42 No.69224326 >be me >work with female coworker >we talk about different things >topic switches to partying >she asks me if I want to go to the club with her >tell her "no" >"why not anon?" >"I cant dance, I hate loud music and I hate to be around a lot of humans because they disgust me and I think clubs are for degenerates anyway" >she looks at me puzzled >we continue working without a single word being said >this was 2 weeks ago >she is still not speaking to me Oh come on. Do you want to tell me that just because I didnt want to go to the club I am not worthy of speaking to her anymore? Why are women like this?

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