Anon had a lava lamp | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous >>69171120 (OP) # >used to have a lava lamp as a kid >actually cool >some party at my house, might have been my sisters friends 06/25/22(Sat)03:16:09 No.69171329 >people are drunk but nothing bad happens >find out before bed someone went into my room, took the top off, twisted off the non-twist bottle cap, and drank it >still plugged in and probably burning hot when they did it >nobody knows who or admits to it and no one has died from lava lamp colon cancer yet

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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41.02370998154775, -116.63689205019888 | /r/Greentext

File: .png (15 KB, 920x920) Anonymous 06/12/22(Sun)19:15:13 No.880030980 >fall for art degree pill >can't find a job >in massive debt >nobody gives a s--- about my work >friend is a hobbyist yiff artist >gets paid $300 for 1 hour of work >has a patreon that prints money >sells merch >thousands praise him online MFW this man has made more money drawing furry p--- then I will make in my entire life. This isn't even his main job, he's an engineer.

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Anon? Soon in your house | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 106 KB JPG Anonymous 402 KB PNG 04/09/22(Sat)20:17:09 No.68140959 >mom cleans my room while i'm at work >have panic attack when i get home 04/09/22(Sat)20:19:01 No.68140986 >tfw mom organized the dildos by size

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Anon knows what the ladies want. | /r/Greentext

File: Snapchat-2079101352.jpg (1.41 MB, 2160x4055) Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:03:03 No.60462916 >>60462985>>60463042 >>60463064 >>60463067 >>60463088 >>60463106 >>60463130 >>60463132 >>60463146 >>60463191 >>60463226 >>60463388 >>60463466 >>60464029 >>60464163 >>60464294 >>60464984>>60467363 >>60468625 I just had a girl over and once I took off my shirt, she quickly left. W-- is there something wrong with my body? What was the context in which you took off your shirt? Were you two simply talking and you randomly took off your shirt? She probably thought you were about to r--- her >>60463132 Anonymous 03/21/21(Sun)09:20:46 No.60463132 ► >>60463291 >>60462916.(OP) probably because you awkwardly took your shirt off mid conversation or you misread the situation, give more context >Plug in hdmi into laptop >Begin movie >She starts cuddling with me >Take off shirt >I say "it's time" >Takes her purse and leaves >Ask her if she wants to watch a movie >She says ok

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Anon goes to America | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 125 KB JPG 06/24/22 (Fri)20:15:40 No.880762272 Hello western anons, I am a little puzzled >be me >move to America >women especially but men also talk about women's rights >"women are strong independent intelligent people, much more than child bearers" >see them dress half naked during summers >fully naked on beaches >much much more revealing than men >random pictures with them deliberately facing their asses at the camera >dress intentionally to highlight their asses and t--- and thighs >post seductive pictures on social media >go to events like concerts and sports and act like they are cute accessories to men >every award show is men dressed in suits and women showing their naked backs and half boobs >music videos, tv ads, shows, movies are just women being nothing more than t--- and asses >i posted a funny comment about t--- on plebbit and a few hoes sent me t-- pics >no self respect or portrayal of mental strength in everyday life If your women are so strong, why do they act like just pieces of meat? Even my grammy was confused and I'm not sure how to explain to her why acting slutty makes your women strong >"do their husbands force them to dress so dirty anon? Why do they live like that?"

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anon is about to commit a crime | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 40 KB JPG go insane 06/24/22 (Fri)18:29:47 No.880757323 >take a s--- >wipe until the paper comes clean >later on >feel an itch in the ass >go to bathroom to wipe >there is s--- on the paper it's the little things that make you

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Anon loves thy neighbor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB PNG 06/24/22(Fri)21:59:51 No.880773026 >be me >actual f-- >live in not so well off area >have "blood gang" neighbors >they always sit outside and talk about the hood, crimes, weed, prison >I download grinder one horny night and get a DM >its the neighbor >600ft away >scared to not respond >he asks me to give him head >tell him im a masc top >he wants to j------- together >tell him im into more feminine men, sissys, trans etc >he stops DMing >hear my bell ring and knock on door >heart stops for a sec >look out peephole >its the neighbor >tells me "come on" hes horny >i tell him im not comfortable with the situation >threatens to kill me if i tell anyone he came over >fast forward to the day i move out >see neighbor out with "blood" friends >roll down my window and tell him ill miss eating his chocolatey ass and cuddles >hear his friend go "yooo B what the f--- is going ooon" >they all start laughing >he is p----- as f--- >drive into sunset >happy ending

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Anon Suspect The Wrong Person | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why are you S------- on myplate? How do you Inte Ship 24 06/25/22(Sat)09:45:20 No.880766772 >be me >neighbor's dog keeps s------- in my grass >keep having to pick up it's s--- >neighbor keeps denying and lying about it 78 KB JPG >set up security camera >going to bring the evidence to the police >4am >motion detected >check camera >80 year old man who lives across the street >pulls down pants >mfw >apologize to neighbor

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Anon Likes Star Wars | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/17/21(Fri)11:08:54 No.581852657 >specifically designed to kill Jedi 97 KB JPG : Anonymous >not even one Jedi was killed by it 12/17/21(Fri)11:10:32 No.581852794 your penis was designed to reproduce yet not even one girl has been f----- by it >>581852882 # >>581852907 # >>581853461 # >>581853567 # >>581853720 # >>581853840 # >>581854234 #

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Anon isn't too happy about his friend's gf | /r/Greentext

index.jpg.png 900 KB PNG >that one friend who got a gf and now tries to integrate her into your gaming group >keeps saying we don't talk to her enough

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Anon Likes Poetry | /r/Greentext

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Making a good impression 101 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB JPG 06/25/22(Sat)02:29:00 No.69170114 >be me >at work >casual day >hear that we got a new colleague >she's a 9/10 shortstack >Im literally bricked up >time to exchange names >she arrives at my desk and starts to introduce herself >says her name is "Candice" >after hearing it, my mind goes in a fight or flight scenario >imagining the worst: she saying "candice these nuts fit in your mouth" >with lightning fast reflexes I don't let her finish and counter-attack >my name is Phil... THIS D--- IN YER MOUTH >she looks at me in disgust and leaves >she's currently in the boss' office Am I gonna get demoted?

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Anon has been tricked and backstabbed. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/27/21 (Mon)06:09:24 No.572380692 1612225502635.jpg 16 KB JPG >>572362878 # >f--- coworker >suddenly half the building knows I have a 4 inch penis and i'm a big f------ joke to everyone why the f--- did i do that >>572387069 # >>572394372 #

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