Anon hits the gym | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous| 45243472 42,2 kB JPG >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >... >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man REPLY

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is wearing a pocket watch. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 12 1 >Sitting at the bar >feel someone tap my shoulder >turn around and see a guy standing there with this weird smile on his face 8 >he says "got the time?", but he is almost laughing as he asks 86 KB JPG >I say "sure" and pull out my pocket watch >As soon as I pull out my pocket watch the guy belts out laughing, along with a large table nearby, full of people laughing and looking at me >before I can even check the time, the guy walks away to the laughing table and loudly says "I told you it was a f------ pocket watch chain!" >one of the girls at the table says "Who the f----" but laughs so hard she cannot speak >I look around and see that there are other people in the place looking at me and some are laughing too >put my pocket watch away and try to go back to my drinks What is wrong with pocket watches? 6 NO 12 09/01/21 (Wed)19:39:01 No.65222780 12

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Anon and his friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/20/18(Fri)14:39:13 No.44822 >out with my friend >sitting on a bench >be talking >people throwing us weird glances >think it's because of the obscene topics 283 KB PNG >dont care >keep talking >suddenly one old dude comes up to me >"Excuse me, Sir, but who are you talking to" I wish I was kidding. I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist. 3 Replies / 1 Image View Threa

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Anon goes to the doctor | /r/Greentext

02/22/21 (Mon)01:16:42 No.27724752 >be me >doing army penis and anus inspection >army doctor puts finger up my butt >both of his hands are still in my shoulders Anonymous 285 KB PNG >>27726321 # >>27730568 #

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anon-burgy | /r/Greentext

06/20/22(Mon)20:28:09 No.18007684 > be me at burger king > order number 2 combo plain w/ cheese > receive my food > it's a number 2 combo with everything on it > irritated but we can work it out > ask for them to replace it with : Anonymous Simply Awful BURGER KING 12 KB JPG correct order > receive my food again > it's a number 2 combo plain w/ no cheese > bruh > ask for cheese > old man working the register gets p----- > yells at me that i didn't specify w/ cheese > old man yells at coworkers to give me my food > they give me my food > it's a number 2 combo plain w/ no cheese

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anon watches porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous THREE HOURS LATER 06/21/22(Tue)11:27:11 No.880557669 >be me >Watching p--- >New video pops up >H-------- it's my high school crush >She's giving the guy a h------, still clothes >The moment of truth is about to shine >She takes off her top 113 KB PNG >Still in a bra and panties >She slowly removes her bra >She has Denny's pancake areolas >I turn off the video and go to bed crying

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Anon cant find his place in social media | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 KB JPG Anonymous I know that feel, OP. (Most original post ever). 06/21/22(Tue)10:14:04 No.69123916 View Thread 06/21/22(Tue)10:42:28 No.69124074 1 Reply >go on normal sites >called misogynistic >go on here >called a feminist

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Anon has intercourse with a tard | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 06/21/22(Tue)11:18:50 No.69124662 [Reply] This board is lame tonight, give tard Stories. I'll start. >Be me >9 years old >Go to Christian summer camp >There's a tard in my group, let's call him Bobby >He has down syndrome and cannot form a coherent sentence >Parents raised me to be nice to everybody, so I am nice to Bobby >He takes a liking to me (not in a gay way) >A ways waves hello, likes to sit near me etc. >One day, an Israeli woman comes to the camp to explain to us the wonders and glories of Israel >We all gather round >Tard sits next to me >Get bored, glance over at him >He's looking at me >There's a massive snot bubble pulsating from his nostril >Point it out to him >He starts giggling >Get the attention of his handler >As she wipes away the booger, he stares at me with a look of pure betrayal. This is where I f----- up. >Next day >We are playing soccer >As we are walking down the sidewalk, Bobby runs up behind me >Approaches me with a look of pure contempt >Unleashes his tard strength >Grabs me by the neck with one hand >Lifts me in the air and starts giggling >I'm in state of pure terror, he could easily snap me in half >He throws me towards the sidewalk >Luckily I land on my ass >Handler rushes over and tells him he did a no-no. >He remains triumphant, knowing his superior tard genetics allow him to crush untermensch like me >Walks away giggling Anyway, that's why you never betray a tard. Anonymous 06/21/22(Tue)11:40:20 No.69124823 Tldr, OP had hot sweaty sex with a retard. Put me in the screenshot reddit

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Anon hires an escort | /r/Greentext

01/15/21 (Fri)18:46:28 No.844936687 V₁ + V₂ m₂ + m₂ RT m₂ RT TH : Anonymous RT, (m+m₂)RT. (m+m₂)RT, Pj = m; RTM₂ RG RT R *-200sy-00 ax ll ayr 1₂2. əzi 1₂ = √(x + 78₂)² + y² + 1601638899698.jpg 180 KB JPG >hire escort >she tells me its $100 for a--- >agree >meet her at her hotel room >pull down pants and start to put on condom >she walks behind me >feel something enter my ass >chickdick.tmp >she c--- >tells me thanks and gives me $100 >mfw (my + m₂ m. P R m. T + 1 +14) + 4 Bsat Gm, Tisat Isat 1₂ sat Gm3 Fosat M(X+Fz)

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anon works at walmart | /r/Greentext

Anonymous work stories thread > be me > walmart employee > always scheduled for nights > be on the night shift 431 KB PNG > see a man in the parking lot > he's just standing there > i go up to him > he doesn't say anything > i ask him if he's okay > he doesn't say anything > i ask him if he needs help > he still doesn't say anything > i ask him if he's lost > he finally talks > he says "i'm not lost, im here to make you pay" > pulls a knife, but doesn't get any closer to me > i s--- myself > run back into the store crying > tell my manager what happened > he calls the cops > cops get here and find the man > he's still just standing there > they arrest him and take him away > i never saw him again 06/21/22(Tue)12:04:29 No.880556644

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Anon is an average fourchanner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >be me, 15 year old immigrant in America 102 KB JPG >family moves to place with people that speak my native tongue >a lot of kids at school speak my language but they bully me so never talk to anyone or make any friends >my only interaction with any english speakers is watching spongebob, family guy and the likes >learn english from these shows >10 years later >have a job >people are surprised by how good my english is >but I only ever talk in quick witty one liners >I get some quick laughs sometimes but add nothing to conversations >never have any good conversation with any coworkers or peer because don't know how to >only ever have quick small talks with a couple of quick one liners followed by awkward silence Learned English but not how to talk, I'm socially inept /b/, what do I do? 06/20/22(Mon)20:59:32 No.880524596

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Anon Meets a Sigma Male | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/24/22(Mon)18:18:47 No.67134420 I I 000 downloadfile.jpg 27 KB JPG Story from today >Go to use restroom >Pick the urinal on the far left as it's the closest (there are 3 for context) >Soon after another guy comes, takes the far right urinal >Randomly a third guy comes in and exclaims "Ayooo, it's peepee time" >He approaches middle stall and says "mind if I squeeeeze in here?" Before doing so regardless >"How are we doing today, fellas?" >Start to awkwardly laugh, finish pissing and and got to wash my hands >He follows me, watches me wash my hands, then proceeds to not wash his and leave Did I meet a sigma male?

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THIS SUBREDDIT NEEDS NEW MODS. They’re all inactive except one fuckhead who just creates new r34 subreddits. We need new mods who will install repostsleuthbot, delete reposts and tell all reposters to FUCK OFF. NOW. | /r/Greentext

Boosie BadAzz @BOOSIEOFFICIAL u send 1 billion to Ukrainian but you can't spend a 100 mill for snipers to be put n our schools to protect our kids!! It's a sad ass world we live n

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