anon sleeps on his friends couch | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/24/21(Sun)15:04:47 >crashing on couch at friends house >trying to sleep >hear him talking on phone in other room >sounds like he is having phone 26 KB JPG sex >he farts loudly >'did you hear that baby?' >'you like it when daddy s---- himself?' >'no im naked so it went ALL over the chair' >'not the same one from fajita night last week. My friend is sleeping on that one' >quickly get up and leave >go home and take 20 boiling showers >still haven't replied to any of his texts or calls No.845659188

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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i love you cat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/24/19(Wed)00:13:27 38 KB JPG 1 Reply No.52087291 >kitty sleeping on my legs >cat is having a nightmare >say "i love you kitty" >cat stops jerking around, starts purring i love you cat View Thread

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: Anonymous >gets criticized once >f------ dies 05/30/21(Sun)13:45:11 No.123440443 gh.jpg 13 KB JPG

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Anon definitely needs stronger drugs | /r/Greentext

06/08/22(Wed)03:44:51 No.879726083 >be me >stop smoking weed after years of smoking almost every day >feel really good and optimistic about everything once I am fully sober 79 KB JPG >smoke weed after not smoking for a while >instantly get depressed and feel insignificant in this big world we live in What the f---? I thought weed was supposed to make you happy. Now I don't even want to smoke again, I hate feeling like this. Anonymous Then do a real drug like crack or meth Anonymous 06/08/22(Wed)03:46:38 No.879726131

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Anon sees the afterlife | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/08/22(Wed)09:42:13 No.879736168 Bomb survival stories? >be me, 16 >american but brown skinned >live with dad >move to middle east because dad's job 75 KB JPG >act muslim to be accepted >riding bus to brown people school >someone stands up and yells in islamic speak >boom.exe >explosion makes me fade in and out >darkness then people yelling and paramedics >suddenly feel warm and floaty >surrounded by white light >dozens of women appear >deep echoing voice >"anon, your gift" >mfw muslim is the right religion >walk towards women >white light starts fading out >random ceiling fades in >glance around and see medical people >"alright, we got him back, keep an eye on his vitals" See ya later virgins

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Nad i thought my name was bad | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 804835787 15.7 kB JPG 3 min. ago >be born >one shot at life >live in sweden >so far so good >parents name you svenjamin and thats where it goes to s--- REPLY

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cultured anons discussing govt secrets | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 14 KB PNG 2 Replies 06/08/22(Wed)02:34:58 No.68960830 >noooooooo you can't divide by zero because... because you cant okay? View Thread 06/08/22(Wed)02:57:53 No.68960935 06/08/22(Wed)02:58:35 No.68960943 : Anonymous >>68960830 (OP) # but dividing numbers by 0 wouldn't do anything : Anonymous I divided by zero last week still can't find where my d--- went

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anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 : Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 06/08/22(Wed)10:53:31 No.68963718 Here's my plan to break up with my practice gf >gradually respond more slowly to her messages (she's starting to slow down responding to mine too) 171 KB JPG >go from 5 mins to 30 mins to an hour to a few hours then to a day or more >at the same time turn the conversation dull and meaningless >after about a week of this when her feelings for me are at their lowest, I do something off putting like post my hairy legs >she loses even more feelings >I say I don't want kids in the future or something incompatible with her >when she's already thinking of leaving, I suggest we get married >she will recoil and come up with reasons as to why we shouldn't >I use them to amicably separate and become friends What do you guys think? Will this work? : Anonymous 06/08/22(Wed)10:57:11 No.68963753 Here's how you can turn 25 steps into 1 >Look I'm not feeling this anymore. I do not care to explain why or wish to fix things. I'm ending things here good luck. 20

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Anon learns that he's an incel. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 68 KB JPG 05/29/21 (Sat)11:12:56 No.145829282 >Be me. >Study German. >The German for Island is "Insel." >Britischen Inseln >Philippinen Insel. >Mfw I live in an Incel country.

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