Anon goes to church | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)13:22:53 No.875242327 idiot story time >be me >4-5 years old >obsessed with mr. bean like 100% >i even got a f------ teddy >sunday church service 4 KB JPG >around easter time, so there is a lot of silent prayers >parents pray in silence >me don't know what to do >look around >everyone is praying >s---.jpg >look forward >statue of jesus on cross, looks ultra realistic >i get a idea >i take my teddy and point my other hand at that jesus statue >"VOOK TEDDI DER IZ JISUS ON D KROS! HI DAJD FOR AUR SINZ!" >some people laugh >mom & dad grab me and go home >dad yells his lungs out on me >i cry bc i don't understand >ffw 16 years later >sunday church service >a family with their daughter sit next to me >again silent prayer >little girl takes her barbie even tho her parents are telling her to leave the barbie >"JULIE, THAT'S JESUS" >mfw when I almost start crying bc of flashbacks >mfw I had to go home bc I was barely holding my laughter & tears in what the f--- was wrong with me?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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