anon makes something new | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)19:33:08 No.859751742 Floorjak.png 126 KB PNG Hey guys, I'm new here. I thought I'd just share a new wojak I made, I call him floorjak. Basically the gimmick is he's a floor, and I've never seen that done before. Please go easy on me, things haven't been going good for me lately. I hope you like it. 4 Replies View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon lil bro is the best | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/21(Tue)06:03:59 No.853083540 Here's a wholesome story for you bots >at dinner with my family at some sports bar >mom and dad both had a bad day and decided to destress, whatever, free food for me 353 KB PNG >throughout the whole dinner they're both kinda glum >my little brother suddenly looks like he had an idea and whispers in my ear "watch this" >he asks mom and dad to look each other in the eye as long as they can >think to myself w-- is he doing, a staring contest? >after about 15 seconds of eye contact they both start smiling and eventually they break into laughter at that. >mfw my lil bro is the best at making people happy Thanks lil bro

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########## | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)02:01:14 No.875232446 JADA PINKETT Will: See what I did, babe? I smacked him. That was for you. SMITH G.I.JANE Jada: Mhm...yeah, wel...Pac would've shot him. Then he would've come back down here and f----- me on this table in 528 KB JPG front of everyone here. Will: *sigh* ...He sure would have...*wipes a mournful tear and pours some of his drink onto the floor* ...He sure in hell would have... 13 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Not the hero we deserved, but the hero we needed. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous No. 769700370 (2 m) >be 20 something >working at a local convenience store/gas station > some lady and a kid walk in a m------------ towel wrapped around his chubby neck >realize he's tard, pretend the towel is a PNG саре >supertard runs full speed down the snack isle knocking over everything >fuckmylifeimgonnahavetocleanthatup.jpg >tard mom asks for some smokes and gas >lady is paying when n----- walks in >n----- pulls out two guns, points one at the lady and sticks the other one in my face >supertard comes running full speed through the store, jumps and flies head-first into the n----- >supertard's collision causes n----- to fly into the window next to the register >tard laying on top of incapacitated n-----, flailing around crying >police show up later, n----- has a concussion from the impact with supertard superskull. 93.72 KB I never saw supertard again but I like to think he's still out there protecting innocents

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Anon works with furries | /r/Greentext

#84158168 23 hours ago 1313466387609.jpg JPG 290.9 KiB 648x913 >>84151767 (OP) I once worked for a startup that was founded by furries, we tried to be all professional and s---, but you know we are trash and mistakes happen. One time one of the production techs accidentally synced their personal laptop up to the corporate google drive. And Google never forgets.. We kept finding erotic werewolf TF fiction showing up in unexpected places for months after that no matter how many times the IT staff tried to purge it. And one of the devs was a brony. So you would log into prototype machines to find that the MOTD had randomly been replaced with ponies all the time. I'm pretty sure that wound up getting shipped a couple of production builds too. A couple of the engineers were good friends with Varka, of Bad Dragon fame, so at one point he sent is a palette of reject dildos to destroy in the machine shop for a laugh. So naturally a couple retardedly oversized dildos started popping up with googly eyes in place of flower vases and the like.

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Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)16:52:58 No.64905522 >have this friend on discord >he's really depressed and especially down lately >says it's cause his birthday is coming up and he's still a virgin >send him a pic of my t--- on his birthday to cheer him up >he just gets angry and blocks me 657 KB JPG W-- why are men like this? : Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)16:55:08 No.64905553 >>64905522 (OP)# >my friend says he's dying of hunger >send him a PICTURE of food >w-- why is he angry??! >>64905592 #

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Anon ponders rap in Europe | /r/Greentext

What the f--- would European rappers rap about >yeah yeah can't say n---- cuz l'm white >went down to sell some crack, then I realized I'm in Portugal so I started smoking the crack yeah >got fired from my job for not showing up, so I went to collect my welfare yeeah >tried to rob a store, but I don't know where to get a gun or how to use it yeah >l got arrested the police, but they didn't shoot me when I resisted because they don't carry guns yeah

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A new foe has Appeared | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Weird childhood memories threa(...) 03/27/22(Sun)15:46:22 No.67958749 >Be 6 >Fat older kid neighbor lives across the street, not sure how much older he was than me but I think he was a freshman in high school or something >Mom tells me to avoid him, doesn't 90 KB PNG tell me why >One day he comes up to my house and asks me if I want to go to his house >Stupid kid so say yes >Go to his house without telling my parents, its only me and him in his house >He takes me to his room and tells me to wait >Minutes later he brings in his gamecube and we play Smash Bros >Later go home and my mom tells me that she was looking everywhere for me, but I don't think I told her where I was Was I f------ molested or something, and just don't remember? Or was he just some spergy loser that hung out with literal children because nobody his age would?

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anon makes an inappropriate joke | /r/Greentext

8:41 M . 70% : Anonymous adventures with autism 03/27/22(Sun)19:22:21 No.67961510 Story time > be me > taking a course on cancer biology in college > professor divides the class into groups > each group gets assigned a paper on 16 KB PNG cancer research which they need to present > my group gets the paper on Lynch syndrome, MSI and cancer > in first group meeting, group leader brings chocolates > he offers me one, I take it and say "I prefer crack but this is fine too" > everyone laughs, so I try to make more jokes during the meeting > one group member starts explaining what lynch syndrome is > I jokingly say "I guess lot of black people suffered from this disease in 1900s" > everyone looks at me in horror. >I realize how inappropriate what I just said is > after a brief silence the group member resumes her explanation >l just sat in my chair silently for the rest of the meeting It was so awkward. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell where this line between appropriate and inappropriate is. I hate being autistic. : Anonymous 03/27/22(Sun)19:41:32 No.67961716 >working from home in pajamas >in Teams meeting, there are like 50 people there for some dumb thing >5 minute break because no one's going to pay attention to this s--- for 3 hours 189 KB JPG >browsing memes at the same time >see a GTA 5 lamar roast meme >l'm muted so it's safe >l say aloud "niggaaaa" | >hear someone say "what" over the meeting >I wasn't muted >someone asks "who said that" >no one answers >no one knew it was me got off very lucky

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Hey you can't make fun of bald people if they are women! because...you just can't ok?!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)01:00:17 No.165701357 PDATE WEEKEND UPDA1 90c8ee4ee694b2a8d3a0598619d8293870-norm- macdonald.rsquare.w700.jpg 74 KB JPG >"And on Hollywood news: Actor Will Smith slapped fellow actor Chris Rock live in the Academy Award gala after he made an awful joke about his wife hair loss" >"This showed a new side of Mr Smith not know to the public and undoutbly worries us all" >"because if that's his reaction to a joke then just imagine what would happen if another man f----- her" >>165701428 # >>165701470 # >>165701686 # >>165701806 # >>165701850 # >>165701974 # >>165701994 # >>165702324 # >>165702391 # >>165702437 # >>165702472 # >>165702527 # >>165702537 # >>165702555 # >>165702703 # >165702744 # >>165702757 #

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Korean and Japanese anons say what they think of one another | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/19(Thu)13:40:37 No.115286066 >>115286013 # 132 KB PNG >>115286076 # >>115286090 # >>115286530 # : Anonymous ; 12/12/19(Thu)13:41:11 No.115286076 >>115286066 # 64 KB JPG >>115286090 # >>115286105 # >>115286530 #

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Anon gets reality checked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/28/22(Mon)00:23:56 No.67959999 Motivation thread >be me born in poor family >struggle throughout my life >achieve good place in society >working in IT making 6digits/year in 2nd world country >have a kid and a loving goth wife >manage to get my son to a good 194 KB JPG uni >feeling proud of myself >wake up >clock shows 6 AM >it was all a dream >remember I work at a slaughter house on min wage What keeps you going r9k ??

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the best greentext | /r/Greentext

I really need your help anons >be me, about 20 years ago >be sperm >overhear chad seeds talking about how great life must be >think to myself "f--- it, can't be any worse than being trapped in 6 KB JPG here with these f------" >hatchplan.exe >know that I will never have a chance racing against chads >see chadsperms swim to front lines >instead I swim to the very back of the b------- >watch chadseeds fly into a tissue and be thrown into the trash >kek.mp3 >a little later swim to the front and wait for my chance >only me & other autist sperm left >make my way to the womb >be born >.. >be me now >regret that decision every day

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