Anon unravels the mystery. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: istockphoto-469877055-612x612.jpg (52 KB, 612x461) O Anonymous 02/25/22(Fri)18:48:20 No.873361309 >be me, 21, psychotic >act stupid around everyone >ffw half a year >scare away my GF >ruin my finances >lose all credibility >lose job >lose all friends >lose family >lose home >live 4 years on the street, eventually psychosis disappeared on its own >find myself in a interesting spot >zero obligations >no possessions to worry about >no people to impress, no show to maintain >life is literally eat-drink-sleep >realize im happy >being outside all day made me fit >no depressions anymore either >meet lots of interesting people while traveling the land >meet kind people >occasionally work for random people, gardening, cleaning etc >don't smoke anymore, due to lack of money >don't shiver anymore when temperatures are lower than 10C° >meet nice girl >fall in love >get a place to stay with her >she moves in >slowly all the problems from the past creep into my life again >start smoking >get fat >worried about possessions >worried about losing her >get depressed That's it. Im going FULL MONK NOW!

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon on the Russian mystery machine. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FUFqqcT1 We overestimated Russia 02/25/22(Fri)20:17:53 No.363392317 russianmilitary.jpg 29 KB JPG I thought they had a decent military? This is so scooby doo s--- here. If this was what my country gave me to assault another country I would straight up desert. in

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The average 4chan user gets a job | /r/Greentext

Just got a job >20 year old autist >working drive through at mcdonalds >"I'll have 2 chicken sandwiches 1 with no tomato" >"which one do you not want tomato on?" >some brief silence and a muffled sound >"either one, man" >messed up their change tto0

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Anon was outraged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:36:55 No.153753695 1626497257478.jpg 217 KB JPG >wow you're so much bigger than my exes Literally turned 360 degrees and walked right out of the cinema : Anonymous 07/17/21(Sat)18:46:21 No.153754047 If you turned 360 degrees you'd still be facing the cinema.

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7000 members and now I'm officially 1 ton | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/20(Tue)04:56:18 No.842375793 >get mod on a discord server with over 1000 members >instantly gain 300 pounds >mfw 9 KB JPG

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anon is waiting | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: SYKALAIC ) 02/24/22(Thu)00:12:32 No.362800779 I will sit here and shitpost on the funny politics board until an explosion directly hits my apartment and kills me instantly 33 KB JPG

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Guilty as charged | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:05:46 No.719447132 ITT: Pretend we're reddit 51 KB JPG : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:08:03 No.719447353 >s----- film reference >gay dad joke "'WOW thanks for the gold guys, lets all meet up and have a massive o--- because of how perfect we all are' >>719447581 # >>719447619 # >>719447968 # : Anonymous 01/18/17(Wed)23:10:29 No.719447581 >>719447353 # /thread

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anon's school was worried about his comic strip | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)00:56:04 No.67308084 back in high school they sent me to the school's psychologist because my teacher found my comics notebook and they thought I was going to kill myself or something like that. I still believe those comics were really funny, specially the ping pong chad and the backflip abortion 45 KB JPG ones. I think that day my creativity died because I didn't draw comics since, I felt so judged despite it being created only for comical purposes : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)00:59:04 No.67308105 >>67308084 (OP) # What kind of comics were they anyway and why your teacher got panicked with them? >>67308283 # : Anonymous 02/06/22(Sun)01:18:05 No.67308283 >>67308105 # I think that the one that worried them was "ping pong chad", it might look long but it isn't, goes like this: 13 KB PNG >ugly manlet approaches stacy and says "umm hey susan, I liked you since elementary school, I wondered if we could maybe go a date this weekend and get to know eachot.." Stacy interrupts him and says "yeah whatever I'm not dating you, bag of dog c--" >superbuffed chad appears on the scene and says "hey bitch want to see how many ping pong balls can I fit in my foreskin?" and stacy replies "OMG Chad yesss!" "ugly manlet gets choleric and grabs a pistol and starts shouting "I'm tired of this, you all always ignore me and treat me like s---, now I will kill myself and you're coming with me, you will know the fear and suffering I feel everyday!" >chad says "not so fast, incel freak!" and expulses a ping pong ball at high speed out of his foreskin, conviniently hitting the guy's belt and thus letting his pants fall, showing that he was wearing women's underwear >everyone starts laughing and the incel ends up having a mental breakdown, saying things like "god no woman will ever love me, I condemned to solitude and pain". He finally blows his head withn a the gun and dies >the final panel shows chad being praised by a multitude saying "yay you saved us chad!" while he keeps doing tricks with his foreskin and the ping pong balls

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Anon figures out life | /r/Greentext

ttom] [Update] [ Auto] jng (18 KB, 389x389) IAnonymous 05/ >have "problem" >don't care >have no problem Life is literally so easy.

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Anon meets a woman. | /r/Greentext

>Be me 25 y/o 6ft man >Looking for a house to rent >l dress business casual, looking professional >walk into a house tour >Cute 4.5ft tall asian milf, probably in her mid 40s is showing the place >at first, she looks a little scared and 499 KB JPG shows me everything quickly >Understandable, it's just the both of us there >l walk behind her, she kinda thicc doe > She is barefoot >All Can think of is how good that ass feels and how good her feet smell and taste > hard as f--- >tuck in d--- onto my waist band/belt while she isn't looking >she asks me some questions about me, habits, job, normal house renting stuff >she seems interested in me renting since I got my s--- together >While talking, all I can think in my mind is how easy it would be for me to pin her down on the floor >Rip her clothes off and furiously f--- her, stretching her tiny tight p---- >Perhaps she could read my mind, I felt great sexual tension >she asked me about my gf >I say That Currently I'm dating around, no gf >"oh wow, but you real handsome! Big and strong haha you look like a quarterback " >l giggle and say thank you >her body position and the way she looked at me had me thinking she wanted me to pin her down and f--- her too. >sadly, I had to leave and I gave her my contact info to send me the app >I went to my car, drove to a nearby target parking lot and fapped and bursted c-- into a water bottle >the house got rented the next day Now I have the yellow fever. I need asian p----!

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Anon preaches truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: xphr6pDr 02/26/22(Sat)00:03:59 No.363276688 How the f--- did we even enter this timeline? 54 KB JPG : Anonymous (ID: TdgXv8Ru 02/26/22(Sat)00:04:50 No.363276898 >>363289134 # : Anonymous (ID: BK5MİZAD 02/26/22(Sat)00:08:34 No.363277792 >>363276688(OP) # Harambe >>363277917 # >>363278593 # >>363278703 # >>363279999 >>363289202 #

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Ukraine's True Secret Weapon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FVTbi9q9 ) 02/25/22(Fri)13:31:28 No.363200924 obraz_2022-02-25_133028.png 45 KB PNG >>363200545 # The real ghost of Kiev

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