Anon is genius husband | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/15/18(Mon)21:10:15 No.782417303 >Be me >Married with kids, but have no other friends >Wife wants to meet other couples >Been bothering me for a while about it. >Devise a plan >Go to the park with wife and kids 37 KB JPG >Select desired couple >ldentify their kid >Wait until target couple looks away >Toss rock at their kid >crying.mp3 >Wife rushes over to help kid with the first-aid kit she brought >Kids parents come to help >l walk over and to parents and say, "Oh my god I hope he's alright. I saw THIS kid throw a rock at him." >Point to some random kid >MFW they buy it >Start chatting it up with potential friends >introduce our kids to each other >They're grateful for the help and say that we should meet up for dinner sometime >Get their contact information >MFW they are coming over for dinner on Saturday >MFW my wife will never bother me about this again

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext goggles font

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (789px x 1050px)

File size: 105 KB

File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

View All 43,691 Images

More:

Anon dates a furry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: MOqSTCCO 01/17/17(Tue)11:33:57 No.107429717 >Start dating girl >Find out she's a f------ furry >But she's a solid 8.5/10 >Furry community is actually not that bad, but once they don their outfits I gag 298 KB JPG a little >Find out they want me to go through a trial to join their little group of friends which involves fist fighting with 15 people to gain "Alpha" status in the pack >At the end, besides Alpha status, one of the girls can be chosen for a sexual reward (not going to happen anyway because I'm dating one of these f------ furries) >Find out they've beat the f--- out of people on multiple occasions When in the f--- did furries start turning into gangs? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind socking a couple of these retards, but still, what the f---? Is my willingness to even participate the first sign of mental illness? >>107430205 # >107430206 # >>107430209 # >>107430254 # >107430286 # >>107430323 # >>107430490 # >>107430579 # >>107430660 # >>107431221 # >>107431290 # >>107431416 # >>107432362 # >107432652 # >>107432718 # >107432895 # >>107434765 # >>107435532 # >>107436088 # >>107436212 # >>107437043 # >>107437060 #

Pin

Anon impregnates his sister-in-law | /r/Greentext

Вoard /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)12:05:34 No.872969861 >Fling with girl in college >We clicked but ultimately went our separate ways >Married her sister after she introduced us >Years later we're with their fam on vacation at the lakehouse >Alone playing a drunk game of Truth or Truth >"Why don't you two have a baby already?" >Tell her the whole truth >Her sister doesn't want one >In fact we had an abortion >She made me pull out and bust in her mouth a year until she got tubes tied >But I have a breeding fetish >She had a shocked face but was laughing the whole time >Which made it easier to keep sharing >Game got overtly sexual a few rounds >Then asked her the same question >She was quiet a bit and said she thinks her husband is essentially sterile >They'd been trying for awhile now >Said I was sorry to hear that, she said don't be >Somehow got to joking about my fetish fulfilling her need >Joking turned to "joking" >Things moved fast after that >Before you know it we're standing on the sandy beach >With her bent over bracing against the retaining wall >We continued from there >Scheduling always sounded like a business affair >But the sessions were some of the best sex I ever had >True to her word that this was just for the purpose of getting pregnant >She would never call me after the test came up positive >Until the next time she was ready >She has had three of my children so far >>872970056 #

Pin

Anon fails a math exam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Hi guys first greentext 02/19/22(Sat)20:23:47 No.67492043 >be me >Just failed my tenth grade math exam >Parents are taking away my computer >Feels bad man 181 KB PNG : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:25:51 No.67492057 >>67492043 (OP) # Please go back to r/greentext or wherever the f--- you came from. : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:33:53 No.67492112 >>67492043 (OP) # >Hi gu- kys

Pin

Anon is an asshole | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/22(Sun)00:12:02 No.872993953 >match girl on tinder >she wants to f--- >talk for a bit >get nudes >get hotel room >f--- >ghost her >threaten to send nudes to work place 6 KB PNG if she doesn't pay me >pays me hotel room amount and a extra 20$ >never hear from her again 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

Pin

Anon is a teacher | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)20:19:03 No.872110217 >girl in class I teach cries >took her a lot of courage to call a company and ask for an internship >company rejects her in a very rude way >whole class decided to flood the 8 KB PNG company with bad google reviews I'm proud of these little f----

Pin

Anon thinks taiwan is not real | /r/Greentext

>YES HUMANS ARE COMPLETELY CAPABLE OF MAKING THIS ON THEIR OWN FROM SCRATCH. >WELL MAYBE ACTUALLY 15 PEOPLE ON EARTH 130 KB JPG >NO YOU CAN'T MEET THEM NOR KNOW THEIR NAMES >"TSMC" FACTORY LOCATED IN "TAIWAN" MAKES 98% OF ALL CHIPS IN THE WORLD, FROM CARS, AIRPLANES OR FRIDGES >NO YOU CAN'T GO TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE FACTORY BECAUSE..YOU JUST CAN'T OKAY >TAIWAN DOES EXIST, JUST LOOK AT GOOGLE STREET VIEW OKAY totally not aliens btw

Pin

Looking for Chips at the local Burger place | /r/Greentext

Pin

Anon is Mischievous | /r/Greentext

nymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 129369200 >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

Pin

Anon puts his faith in Allah | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/18/22(Fri)17:42:08 No.67483873 >mom slowly dying of stage 4 cancer >5 stages of denial >randomly remember my crippling hijab p--- addiction i used to have years ago >eventually start doing muslim prayers and recite quran verses some p--- redditor recommended >3 months later >mom is cancer free(not remission, its actually gone and very unlikely to come back) Im unironically converting to Islam next week. They are also right about 570 KB PNG Igbt and women : Anonymous 02/18/22(Fri)17:43:35 No.67483904 >>67483873 (OP) # Clearly your interpretation of Islam is more accurate than what Muslims present though, it's not just praying to Allah but also fapping to hijab p---.

Pin

Anon let's the retard take his thunder | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:16:45 No.872970136 >be me, from Russia but live in Germany >2nd grade, around 2005 >get homework to research if we can find other kinds of units for length that is not common in Germany >get home, google >one website tells me some people use "foot" 177 KB JPG >f------ foot >think this is a scam and they just want to prank people >f--- it and just go play video games or something >back at school >teacher asks if someone wants to present their foundings >some kid legit says foot and gets praised >realize there are legit retards who use foot as a measurement >mfw When did you fınd out that americans are retarded? 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 02/19/22(Sat)20:54:13 No.872971162 put me in the screenshot

Pin

Anon is haunted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/19/22(Wed)22:57:19 No.870984116 IMG 20220119_225458.jpg 354 KB JPG >beat millions of other sperms in the race to the egg >their ghosts torment you as you live the life they should've had Was it worth it anon?

Pin

Anon gets called a misogynist by w*men | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/05/22(Sat)10:47:56 No.872089971 >gf gets frequent UTIS >gf gets prescribed a heavy UTI antibiotic to take prophylactically >antibiotic makes her feel nauseous and gives her headaches and she has to take it after everytime we have sex >antibiotic also may cause issues 9 KB JPG when pregnant/breastfeeding and can cause kidney damage with long term use >ask her to go talk to her gynecologist during her next appointment >gynecologist pretty much shrugs and says its the only real option >concerned what long-term use of antibiotic will do to her so decided to ask a girl forum if they have similar experiences or advice. >get called a misogynist, and a p------------ for thinking I know better when I'm a man and don't know what it's like and I should shut up because I'm a typical a------ man who thinks he knows better than my gf or her doctor >just care about my girlfriend and wanted some other anecdotal stories >ask again the next day but leave out the part I'm a guy asking for my girlfriend >get actual real advice and similar stories but yes...please tell me more of how men are more toxic than women.

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes