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: Anonymous 10/01/17(Sun)08:12:20 No.40111592 >on omegle >under the tag "slave" >bossing a guy around, making him do stuff for me >he does everything I tell him to do without question >ask him if he's got any toys 5 KB PNG >"no" >tell him to improvise >he gets a bunch of baby pickles in a jar out of the refrigerator >thatll_work.jpg >instruct him to put one small pickle in his ass after another >another >and another >and yet another >tell him to push them out >"I...I can't." >"Why not? Are they stuck?" >"...yes..." >ffw random stranger from across the world has to go to the hospital and get baby pickles removed from his a------ because of my weird autist fetishes 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Original greentext | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The ultimate revenge 10/16/18(Tue)17:05:11 No.646025 >be 12 >Go in the 6 class >Have the worst teacher that everyone hates >She was bothering me and bullying me for 5 years >The first thing she does is 70 KB JPG yelling at me for no reason >She tells us not to throw stuff in the class because if something wrong happens shes gonna go to jail >Lightbulb.png >l ask her if i can open the window >She says yes >OmgltsHappening.jpg >l open the window and jump from the first floor >l break my legs and hurt my back >Mfw she goes to jail and cant teach me anymore >Mfw it was all worth it

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Anon goes to the strip club | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/22/22(Sat)18:47:20 No.67108862 >Buy fake prop money off Amazon >Looks real as f--- >Last night >Go to strip club >Pay for entry fee and drinks at the bar with real money >Spend all night drunk and paying 00 KON 487 KB JPG strippers for private lap dances >It's dark and their drunk/high so they don't check to see "For Motion Picture Use Only" >Spend over $4,000 in useless money in one night >All the strippers love me >Get to touch their boobs and asses >Feel like Chad for one night >Only costed $9.99 + tax I'm sure they figured it out by now so I can never go back there but man that felt good. OOr OOK OOL

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Not a greentext but mods don't give a fuck | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: z69+Qc 03/25/17(Sat)12:11:28 No.118239278 1490443275966956698.jpg 218 KB JPG if I only lived in US I could eat hamburger with a juicy beef and a dozen of great vegetables but I was born in this f------ s------- and have to eat something that doesnt even look like a food, in US even dogs get better food than poles. kill me someone please

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Anon is a fatass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)16:37:46 No.852350095 >midnight snack >make nachos with doritos instead of torilla chips >eat all the ones with the least amount of cheese first >saving best for last > pick up the last nacho, giant dorito with 153 KB PNG tons of cheese >it falls on the ground thats it, im killing myself tonight : Anonymous 04/18/21(Sun)16:38:28 No.852350133 Fat ass

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Anon is homesick at college | /r/Greentext

Any funny family stories? I have one. >be 14yo in 2006 >mom learns that my 12yo sister is wearing thongs to school >parents can't make her stop >they assign me to "thong patrol" >mfw I have to check my sister's pants every day to make sure she's wearing panties, not thongs >every time I catch her wearing a thong. I get $10 to make her change her undies >chaching.mp3 >end up making $9,500 over four years, not bad >turn 18, want to leave for college >mom freaks out because nobody will be home to panty-police my sister >delay college, stay a NEET at home for two years so I can inspect my sister's ass until she turns 18 >only make $150 over two years. f--- this >2012, finally ready to start college >end up attending the same school as my sis >drop her off at her dorm >without thinking. look inside her pants. just like I have every day for six years >she's wearing a blue lacy thong >mfw nobody gives me $10 Stuff like that really makes you homesick.

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Anon has suave | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:59:03 No.48835698 Here's the story of how I cucked a chad: >be me a few years ago >17 years old, kissless virgin >one of my few friends invites me to his birthday party >drink way too much >most of the people, including me, sleep over at his place 282 KB PNG >14 guys, 10 girls >we're all in a big room, lights are off >one girl, lets call her 'Stacy', has been bitching about her bf all the time asks if anyone has headphones >a solid 6/10 >I did >we sit in a corner and listen to random music >mfw I get a boner >mfw she noticed >guessilldie.png >she smirks >we kiss >grab her ass >she doesn't mind >get a condom I had for 'emergency' >she says that she's still a virgin >I tell her I don't care or something along those lines >she resisted at first, but then tells me to be gentle since it is her first time >f--- for 10 minutes slowly in the dark and somehow manage to nut >she smiles and days it felt great >a few hours later >everyone woke up >we pretended like nothing happened >she talks to her best friend and whispers her something >her friend laughs uncontrollably >waitwhat.jpg >her friend then tells everyone that I took Stacy's virginity >the guys congratulate me, the girls look at me and Stacy in disgust >FeelsGreatMan Two days later >the story of me and Stacey's events spread, but instead of us having sex, people are talking about her giving me a h------ >decide to go along with it, because she still has a bf >her chad bf heard the stories >instead of beating me up or breaking up with Stacy, he wants to take her virginity since no one except the ones who slept over know the truth >he contacts me on Snapchat >sends me a pic of him f------ her >"don't you wish this was you, loser? Stacy told me you wanted to f--- her, but l'm the first one to fill this hole f-----" >meet stacy on the street at one time >she says that my d--- if way better than chad's >kek

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Anon is Latvian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CNQGUWMW )= 01/22/22(Sat)11:26:55 No.357639633 >>357636505 (OP) # >Population 1.9 M >5th greatest enemy of Russia 49 KB JPG >>357639793 # >>357640601 # >>357640790 # >>357643436 #

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Anon finds some loot | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:13:08 No.503678250 >>503678791 >>503679183 >>503680107 >>503682016 File: 1572443678272.png (58 KB, 398x306) >>503677519 (OP) I've dated 2 girls i met from mmos. we just happened to live in the same city and met up, and it just clicked so we kept at it. dated one for 6 months the other for 3 years. first one I broke up with cause she kept blowing off our dates, and that just always pisses me off. hurre Ware second girl died of cancer. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:20:50 No.503679183 File: hu_1422640493_2816201342.jpg (86 KB, 1920x1080) >>503679380 2>503678250 Sad to hear she passed away anon. Did she at least drop any good loot? O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:22:31 No.503679380 22503679584 >503679626 >>503679775 >>503679863 >>503679936 >>503680140 >>503680157 >>503680298 >>503680323 >>503680792 >>503680935 >>503681150 >>503681212 >503681226 >>503681394 >503681519 >>503681802 >>503681816 >503681935 >>503681954 >>503682016 >>503679183 just a ring that lost its all of its enchantment. O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:24:21 No.503679584 File: sko jpg (6 KB, 250x250) >>503679380 Jesus f--- man

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Anon comes across a female enemy soldier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:13:18 No.397551 >Oh hey anon! I'm an enemy soldier but please don't shoot me. I was forced to be in the front line for this war but I really don't want to be here. Please mercy 124 KB JPG How do you respond? : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:04 No.397551 >>39755182 (OP) # Only thing I feel is recoil >>39755487 # >>39756428 # >>39756534 # >>39756723 # >>39758615 # : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:11 No.397551 Shoot her >>39756057 # >>39758413 #

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Anon becomes the very thing he swore to destroy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:44:01 No.783680249 >be me >solid 4/10 >be in grade 8 >basically an autist >be me >in grade 9 >still a "special boy 7 KB PNG >but less so >join basketball >become a bit more fit >be me >grade 10 >see a girl I never really noticed before >solid 9/10 >ask her out >mfw she says yes >go to restaurant with her >all goes well >for first few months I think she Is using me >mfw I'm just the only boy to ever treat her like a human being >start hitting the gym >mad gains >join wrestling >join basketball >join yearbook >join student council >mfw when I have More power than the principal >is this the good life? >you've taken good care of me 4chan

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Need for Tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)13:40:08 No.870575971 >Wake up at 6 pm covered in sweat, dried c--, and chicken grease >stomach rumbles >no F------ TENDIES >too heavy to move on my own >I'm a beautiful 750 pound boi >start shrieking for mommy until she 72 KB JPG opens the door >"good morning anon, what do you need swe-" >I throw a second piss jug at her bitch face >GIMME MY TENDIES W---- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! >"sorry anon, I gave you a double serving last night, and you agreed to skip breakfast today in return, remember?" >l feel the rage boiling >it gives me strength >mommy comes over to calm me down >"honey, you need to calm down. A good boy always keeps his prom-" >l grab the bitches neck and start squeezing >"ANON WH-GHGHGGggGggghhhhh >In the heat of the moment I summon the colossal amount of energy necessary to roll over and fall off the bed on top of her >with her pinned down I start punching her bitch face over and over again >WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES >she cries and begs for mercy until she falls asleep with her eyes open >l feel another rumble in my tummy >it's the 200 trendies and 5 gallons of Mountain Dew from last night >l turn over and explode the foulest of s---- onto mommy to teach that bitch a lesson >60 seconds later the spray dies down >turn around and see mommy covered in my good boi chocolate >peepee starts to get hard >would watch hentai but my laptops out of reach >pull down mommy's shorts and panties and start putting my wiener in and out of her no-no spot until my good boy cream shoots out >still hungry and no way to get tendies >pick out pieces of tendies from my doodie and enjoy a second time >no sauce needed >it's been over a week now >I still can't get up and I'm running out of mommy jerky >try throwing her bones through my window to get attention but no one brings me tendies plz help guys

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Anon is a sniper | /r/Greentext

>be me >it's 9:43 pm >laying in bed about to fall asleep >hear 3 kids playing in their yard at the Mexican house 2 houses away >sickofthisshit.jpeg >grab my air soft sniper rifle 59 KB JPG >my plan is to snipe them in their arm making it seem like a wasp did it cause summer >open window behind bed facing the house >get into position >put on Vietnam war helmet >load up >bang >first kid get hit in the arm and starts crying >the other 2 run over to see what's wrong >by the time there over I'm already loaded up >bang >second kid is hit in the leg and goes down >third goes to get parents but i'm The fastest sniper in the platoon >bang >shot him in the testicals >all those years of sniper elite have paid off >parents come out to see the problem >I close my window and turn off the lights >go to bed >next day they got exterminators over to see if there are any wasp nest >the kids never come out again And that's how it's done

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Greentext Stories - Pickle problems | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 10/01/17(Sun)08:12:20 No.40111592 >on omegle >under the tag "slave" >bossing a guy around, making him do stuff for me >he does everything I tell him to do without question >ask him if he's got any toys 5 KB PNG >"no" >tell him to improvise >he gets a bunch of baby pickles in a jar out of the refrigerator >thatll_work.jpg >instruct him to put one small pickle in his ass after another >another >and another >and yet another >tell him to push them out >"I...I can't." >"Why not? Are they stuck?" >"...yes..." >ffw random stranger from across the world has to go to the hospital and get baby pickles removed from his a------ because of my weird autist fetishes 9 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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