Anon has suave | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:59:03 No.48835698 Here's the story of how I cucked a chad: >be me a few years ago >17 years old, kissless virgin >one of my few friends invites me to his birthday party >drink way too much >most of the people, including me, sleep over at his place 282 KB PNG >14 guys, 10 girls >we're all in a big room, lights are off >one girl, lets call her 'Stacy', has been bitching about her bf all the time asks if anyone has headphones >a solid 6/10 >I did >we sit in a corner and listen to random music >mfw I get a boner >mfw she noticed >guessilldie.png >she smirks >we kiss >grab her ass >she doesn't mind >get a condom I had for 'emergency' >she says that she's still a virgin >I tell her I don't care or something along those lines >she resisted at first, but then tells me to be gentle since it is her first time >f--- for 10 minutes slowly in the dark and somehow manage to nut >she smiles and days it felt great >a few hours later >everyone woke up >we pretended like nothing happened >she talks to her best friend and whispers her something >her friend laughs uncontrollably >waitwhat.jpg >her friend then tells everyone that I took Stacy's virginity >the guys congratulate me, the girls look at me and Stacy in disgust >FeelsGreatMan Two days later >the story of me and Stacey's events spread, but instead of us having sex, people are talking about her giving me a h------ >decide to go along with it, because she still has a bf >her chad bf heard the stories >instead of beating me up or breaking up with Stacy, he wants to take her virginity since no one except the ones who slept over know the truth >he contacts me on Snapchat >sends me a pic of him f------ her >"don't you wish this was you, loser? Stacy told me you wanted to f--- her, but l'm the first one to fill this hole f-----" >meet stacy on the street at one time >she says that my d--- if way better than chad's >kek

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is Latvian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CNQGUWMW )= 01/22/22(Sat)11:26:55 No.357639633 >>357636505 (OP) # >Population 1.9 M >5th greatest enemy of Russia 49 KB JPG >>357639793 # >>357640601 # >>357640790 # >>357643436 #

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Anon finds some loot | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:13:08 No.503678250 >>503678791 >>503679183 >>503680107 >>503682016 File: 1572443678272.png (58 KB, 398x306) >>503677519 (OP) I've dated 2 girls i met from mmos. we just happened to live in the same city and met up, and it just clicked so we kept at it. dated one for 6 months the other for 3 years. first one I broke up with cause she kept blowing off our dates, and that just always pisses me off. hurre Ware second girl died of cancer. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:20:50 No.503679183 File: hu_1422640493_2816201342.jpg (86 KB, 1920x1080) >>503679380 2>503678250 Sad to hear she passed away anon. Did she at least drop any good loot? O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:22:31 No.503679380 22503679584 >503679626 >>503679775 >>503679863 >>503679936 >>503680140 >>503680157 >>503680298 >>503680323 >>503680792 >>503680935 >>503681150 >>503681212 >503681226 >>503681394 >503681519 >>503681802 >>503681816 >503681935 >>503681954 >>503682016 >>503679183 just a ring that lost its all of its enchantment. O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:24:21 No.503679584 File: sko jpg (6 KB, 250x250) >>503679380 Jesus f--- man

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Anon comes across a female enemy soldier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:13:18 No.397551 >Oh hey anon! I'm an enemy soldier but please don't shoot me. I was forced to be in the front line for this war but I really don't want to be here. Please mercy 124 KB JPG How do you respond? : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:04 No.397551 >>39755182 (OP) # Only thing I feel is recoil >>39755487 # >>39756428 # >>39756534 # >>39756723 # >>39758615 # : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:11 No.397551 Shoot her >>39756057 # >>39758413 #

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Anon becomes the very thing he swore to destroy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:44:01 No.783680249 >be me >solid 4/10 >be in grade 8 >basically an autist >be me >in grade 9 >still a "special boy 7 KB PNG >but less so >join basketball >become a bit more fit >be me >grade 10 >see a girl I never really noticed before >solid 9/10 >ask her out >mfw she says yes >go to restaurant with her >all goes well >for first few months I think she Is using me >mfw I'm just the only boy to ever treat her like a human being >start hitting the gym >mad gains >join wrestling >join basketball >join yearbook >join student council >mfw when I have More power than the principal >is this the good life? >you've taken good care of me 4chan

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Need for Tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)13:40:08 No.870575971 >Wake up at 6 pm covered in sweat, dried c--, and chicken grease >stomach rumbles >no F------ TENDIES >too heavy to move on my own >I'm a beautiful 750 pound boi >start shrieking for mommy until she 72 KB JPG opens the door >"good morning anon, what do you need swe-" >I throw a second piss jug at her bitch face >GIMME MY TENDIES W---- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! >"sorry anon, I gave you a double serving last night, and you agreed to skip breakfast today in return, remember?" >l feel the rage boiling >it gives me strength >mommy comes over to calm me down >"honey, you need to calm down. A good boy always keeps his prom-" >l grab the bitches neck and start squeezing >"ANON WH-GHGHGGggGggghhhhh >In the heat of the moment I summon the colossal amount of energy necessary to roll over and fall off the bed on top of her >with her pinned down I start punching her bitch face over and over again >WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES >she cries and begs for mercy until she falls asleep with her eyes open >l feel another rumble in my tummy >it's the 200 trendies and 5 gallons of Mountain Dew from last night >l turn over and explode the foulest of s---- onto mommy to teach that bitch a lesson >60 seconds later the spray dies down >turn around and see mommy covered in my good boi chocolate >peepee starts to get hard >would watch hentai but my laptops out of reach >pull down mommy's shorts and panties and start putting my wiener in and out of her no-no spot until my good boy cream shoots out >still hungry and no way to get tendies >pick out pieces of tendies from my doodie and enjoy a second time >no sauce needed >it's been over a week now >I still can't get up and I'm running out of mommy jerky >try throwing her bones through my window to get attention but no one brings me tendies plz help guys

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Anon is a sniper | /r/Greentext

>be me >it's 9:43 pm >laying in bed about to fall asleep >hear 3 kids playing in their yard at the Mexican house 2 houses away >sickofthisshit.jpeg >grab my air soft sniper rifle 59 KB JPG >my plan is to snipe them in their arm making it seem like a wasp did it cause summer >open window behind bed facing the house >get into position >put on Vietnam war helmet >load up >bang >first kid get hit in the arm and starts crying >the other 2 run over to see what's wrong >by the time there over I'm already loaded up >bang >second kid is hit in the leg and goes down >third goes to get parents but i'm The fastest sniper in the platoon >bang >shot him in the testicals >all those years of sniper elite have paid off >parents come out to see the problem >I close my window and turn off the lights >go to bed >next day they got exterminators over to see if there are any wasp nest >the kids never come out again And that's how it's done

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Weed is not addictive i swear | /r/Greentext

DUDE weed is like not addictive. Of course I could quit, I just don't need or want to! The government should not be able to tell us what to do, but also get the experimental vaccine, youre f------ killing реople. >wakes up for work at 5am >*hits weed before shower* >dude i love Grateful Dead >alright time for breakfast, better smoke a little weed, wake and bake lol >*smokes weed before breakfast* >getting ready for work >walking out the door. oh better smoke one more hit >*smokes one more hit* >works til lunchtime, with a hit of weed on break in the car, then heads home for lunch >*hits weed before lunch and before going back to work* >working til end of day, finally get home >oh man what a long stressful day >*hits weed* >dinner time >*hits weed before dinner* >*hits weed after dinner* >oh s--- Animal Planet i love this show dude, better get a little high >*hits weed before Animal Planet* >man those gazelles can run fast bro >*hits weed during and after Animal Planet* >*falls asleep on couch* >wakes up for work at 5am >*hits weed before shower*

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Fem Anon is into femdom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)22:14:01 No.49253594 >join a high level overwatch team >get kicked pretty quickly for my harsh and aggressive attitude >thought l'm a carry tier main tank for those guys they couldn't handle my "toxicity" >join college's team SADFROGS YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED 139 KB PNG >best player on the team by far >people put up with my "toxicity" and even seen to embrace it >they've started calling me mistress and madame I like this. How do I get a boyfriend that calls me mistress?

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Anon believed | /r/Greentext

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Anon has found yet another government conspiracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Are gophers even real??? 01/17/22(Mon)22:38:55 No.4041228 >go to bed >no hole >wake up >buncha hole I don't think I have ever seen a gopher irl, it's always just their ugly little dirt mounds. Either it's a government ploy or gophers find 57 KB JPG me unattractive. : Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)02:11:13 No.4041489 >>4041228 (OP) # Gopher holes are actually CIA agents burying dynamite on your property to false flag a nuclear strike when they need to. Be very afraid, get vaxxxed

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Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 784493758 4 min. geleden ... >be you >reddit f-- lurking /b/ for content to steal >see this thread >screen cap and post to r/greentext >make s----- title like "anon hates reddit" >get 3000 upvotes 48,3 kB JPG enjoy your karma, f----- >later >be you >youtube compilation channel browsing r/ greentext >see this >add it to a 10 minute greentext compilation >make some gay title like "funniest 15 second stories v400" enjoy your s----- ad money, f-----

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Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

>can't sleep >sound of my pulse against my pillow is LOUD AF >get idea >stop my pulse 8 KB JPG Pic related

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