Anon has suave | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)22:59:03 No.48835698 Here's the story of how I cucked a chad: >be me a few years ago >17 years old, kissless virgin >one of my few friends invites me to his birthday party >drink way too much >most of the people, including me, sleep over at his place 282 KB PNG >14 guys, 10 girls >we're all in a big room, lights are off >one girl, lets call her 'Stacy', has been bitching about her bf all the time asks if anyone has headphones >a solid 6/10 >I did >we sit in a corner and listen to random music >mfw I get a boner >mfw she noticed >guessilldie.png >she smirks >we kiss >grab her ass >she doesn't mind >get a condom I had for 'emergency' >she says that she's still a virgin >I tell her I don't care or something along those lines >she resisted at first, but then tells me to be gentle since it is her first time >f--- for 10 minutes slowly in the dark and somehow manage to nut >she smiles and days it felt great >a few hours later >everyone woke up >we pretended like nothing happened >she talks to her best friend and whispers her something >her friend laughs uncontrollably >waitwhat.jpg >her friend then tells everyone that I took Stacy's virginity >the guys congratulate me, the girls look at me and Stacy in disgust >FeelsGreatMan Two days later >the story of me and Stacey's events spread, but instead of us having sex, people are talking about her giving me a h------ >decide to go along with it, because she still has a bf >her chad bf heard the stories >instead of beating me up or breaking up with Stacy, he wants to take her virginity since no one except the ones who slept over know the truth >he contacts me on Snapchat >sends me a pic of him f------ her >"don't you wish this was you, loser? Stacy told me you wanted to f--- her, but l'm the first one to fill this hole f-----" >meet stacy on the street at one time >she says that my d--- if way better than chad's >kek

Share Pin Download More

reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font material property

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

File type: jpg

Resolution: (428px x 1050px)

File size: 80.6 KB

File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

View All 43,719 Images

More:

Anon is Latvian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CNQGUWMW )= 01/22/22(Sat)11:26:55 No.357639633 >>357636505 (OP) # >Population 1.9 M >5th greatest enemy of Russia 49 KB JPG >>357639793 # >>357640601 # >>357640790 # >>357643436 #

Pin

Anon finds some loot | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:13:08 No.503678250 >>503678791 >>503679183 >>503680107 >>503682016 File: 1572443678272.png (58 KB, 398x306) >>503677519 (OP) I've dated 2 girls i met from mmos. we just happened to live in the same city and met up, and it just clicked so we kept at it. dated one for 6 months the other for 3 years. first one I broke up with cause she kept blowing off our dates, and that just always pisses me off. hurre Ware second girl died of cancer. Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:20:50 No.503679183 File: hu_1422640493_2816201342.jpg (86 KB, 1920x1080) >>503679380 2>503678250 Sad to hear she passed away anon. Did she at least drop any good loot? O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:22:31 No.503679380 22503679584 >503679626 >>503679775 >>503679863 >>503679936 >>503680140 >>503680157 >>503680298 >>503680323 >>503680792 >>503680935 >>503681150 >>503681212 >503681226 >>503681394 >503681519 >>503681802 >>503681816 >503681935 >>503681954 >>503682016 >>503679183 just a ring that lost its all of its enchantment. O Anonymous 04/15/20(Wed)17:24:21 No.503679584 File: sko jpg (6 KB, 250x250) >>503679380 Jesus f--- man

Pin

Anon comes across a female enemy soldier | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:13:18 No.397551 >Oh hey anon! I'm an enemy soldier but please don't shoot me. I was forced to be in the front line for this war but I really don't want to be here. Please mercy 124 KB JPG How do you respond? : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:04 No.397551 >>39755182 (OP) # Only thing I feel is recoil >>39755487 # >>39756428 # >>39756534 # >>39756723 # >>39758615 # : Anonymous 11/18/18(Sun)18:15:11 No.397551 Shoot her >>39756057 # >>39758413 #

Pin

Anon becomes the very thing he swore to destroy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/30/18(Tue)23:44:01 No.783680249 >be me >solid 4/10 >be in grade 8 >basically an autist >be me >in grade 9 >still a "special boy 7 KB PNG >but less so >join basketball >become a bit more fit >be me >grade 10 >see a girl I never really noticed before >solid 9/10 >ask her out >mfw she says yes >go to restaurant with her >all goes well >for first few months I think she Is using me >mfw I'm just the only boy to ever treat her like a human being >start hitting the gym >mad gains >join wrestling >join basketball >join yearbook >join student council >mfw when I have More power than the principal >is this the good life? >you've taken good care of me 4chan

Pin

Need for Tendies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/22(Thu)13:40:08 No.870575971 >Wake up at 6 pm covered in sweat, dried c--, and chicken grease >stomach rumbles >no F------ TENDIES >too heavy to move on my own >I'm a beautiful 750 pound boi >start shrieking for mommy until she 72 KB JPG opens the door >"good morning anon, what do you need swe-" >I throw a second piss jug at her bitch face >GIMME MY TENDIES W---- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! >"sorry anon, I gave you a double serving last night, and you agreed to skip breakfast today in return, remember?" >l feel the rage boiling >it gives me strength >mommy comes over to calm me down >"honey, you need to calm down. A good boy always keeps his prom-" >l grab the bitches neck and start squeezing >"ANON WH-GHGHGGggGggghhhhh >In the heat of the moment I summon the colossal amount of energy necessary to roll over and fall off the bed on top of her >with her pinned down I start punching her bitch face over and over again >WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES >she cries and begs for mercy until she falls asleep with her eyes open >l feel another rumble in my tummy >it's the 200 trendies and 5 gallons of Mountain Dew from last night >l turn over and explode the foulest of s---- onto mommy to teach that bitch a lesson >60 seconds later the spray dies down >turn around and see mommy covered in my good boi chocolate >peepee starts to get hard >would watch hentai but my laptops out of reach >pull down mommy's shorts and panties and start putting my wiener in and out of her no-no spot until my good boy cream shoots out >still hungry and no way to get tendies >pick out pieces of tendies from my doodie and enjoy a second time >no sauce needed >it's been over a week now >I still can't get up and I'm running out of mommy jerky >try throwing her bones through my window to get attention but no one brings me tendies plz help guys

Pin

Anon is a sniper | /r/Greentext

>be me >it's 9:43 pm >laying in bed about to fall asleep >hear 3 kids playing in their yard at the Mexican house 2 houses away >sickofthisshit.jpeg >grab my air soft sniper rifle 59 KB JPG >my plan is to snipe them in their arm making it seem like a wasp did it cause summer >open window behind bed facing the house >get into position >put on Vietnam war helmet >load up >bang >first kid get hit in the arm and starts crying >the other 2 run over to see what's wrong >by the time there over I'm already loaded up >bang >second kid is hit in the leg and goes down >third goes to get parents but i'm The fastest sniper in the platoon >bang >shot him in the testicals >all those years of sniper elite have paid off >parents come out to see the problem >I close my window and turn off the lights >go to bed >next day they got exterminators over to see if there are any wasp nest >the kids never come out again And that's how it's done

Pin

Weed is not addictive i swear | /r/Greentext

DUDE weed is like not addictive. Of course I could quit, I just don't need or want to! The government should not be able to tell us what to do, but also get the experimental vaccine, youre f------ killing реople. >wakes up for work at 5am >*hits weed before shower* >dude i love Grateful Dead >alright time for breakfast, better smoke a little weed, wake and bake lol >*smokes weed before breakfast* >getting ready for work >walking out the door. oh better smoke one more hit >*smokes one more hit* >works til lunchtime, with a hit of weed on break in the car, then heads home for lunch >*hits weed before lunch and before going back to work* >working til end of day, finally get home >oh man what a long stressful day >*hits weed* >dinner time >*hits weed before dinner* >*hits weed after dinner* >oh s--- Animal Planet i love this show dude, better get a little high >*hits weed before Animal Planet* >man those gazelles can run fast bro >*hits weed during and after Animal Planet* >*falls asleep on couch* >wakes up for work at 5am >*hits weed before shower*

Pin

Fem Anon is into femdom | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/12/18(Mon)22:14:01 No.49253594 >join a high level overwatch team >get kicked pretty quickly for my harsh and aggressive attitude >thought l'm a carry tier main tank for those guys they couldn't handle my "toxicity" >join college's team SADFROGS YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED 139 KB PNG >best player on the team by far >people put up with my "toxicity" and even seen to embrace it >they've started calling me mistress and madame I like this. How do I get a boyfriend that calls me mistress?

Pin

Anon believed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)21:37:14 No.771988321 What's the dumbest thing you believed as a child? 18 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/19/18(Tue)21:37:41 No.771988361 >>771988321 (OP) # That someday I'd be happy >>771988677 # >>772001383 #

Pin

Anon has found yet another government conspiracy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Are gophers even real??? 01/17/22(Mon)22:38:55 No.4041228 >go to bed >no hole >wake up >buncha hole I don't think I have ever seen a gopher irl, it's always just their ugly little dirt mounds. Either it's a government ploy or gophers find 57 KB JPG me unattractive. : Anonymous 01/18/22(Tue)02:11:13 No.4041489 >>4041228 (OP) # Gopher holes are actually CIA agents burying dynamite on your property to false flag a nuclear strike when they need to. Be very afraid, get vaxxxed

Pin

Anon hates reddit | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 784493758 4 min. geleden ... >be you >reddit f-- lurking /b/ for content to steal >see this thread >screen cap and post to r/greentext >make s----- title like "anon hates reddit" >get 3000 upvotes 48,3 kB JPG enjoy your karma, f----- >later >be you >youtube compilation channel browsing r/ greentext >see this >add it to a 10 minute greentext compilation >make some gay title like "funniest 15 second stories v400" enjoy your s----- ad money, f-----

Pin

Anon is a genius | /r/Greentext

>can't sleep >sound of my pulse against my pillow is LOUD AF >get idea >stop my pulse 8 KB JPG Pic related

Pin

Know Your Meme

Like Page 1.8M likes