Willum Dafapper | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

onymous 12/24/21(Fri)14:46:17 No.869241794 willum.jpg 59 KB JPG >be me >jacking off >feel myself getting close >cooming.jpeg >remember something I read about holding in c-- for better orgasm >hold the top of my d---, success, c-- does not appear, feels great >pressure is building tho >ffw 5 seconds cant take it anymore >coom.jpeg >j--- does a crescendo over my body >im taking y = -x^2 here >mouth open in awe >j--- lands in my mouth >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is Irish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/01/18(Wed)21:01:12 No.47220908 >be me >irish >dad gets into ancestry >find out we're descendants of a wealthy and powerful irish clan >clan disbanded 22 KB JPG >rich descendants moved to new countries and lost everything due to potato famine >mfw Im a broke american >mfw i couldve been a rich irish man but im not cause of a lack of f------ potatoes

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thought i had to eat the whole thing | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)19:11:53 No.8771033 >two weeks ago >make thread asking how to eat these >today >Can't stop eating these Why did you uncage this demon 2.79 MB JPG 18 Replies /1 Image View Thread Anonymous 04/04/17(Tue)19:13:07 No.8771037 >asking how to eat sunflower seeds are you more stupid than a bird

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Anon is a dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/03/22(Mon)17:05:13 No.66837034 >be dad >walking up stairs >all fours like monke >son walking ahead of me >bipedal >too slow >throw gigapunch directly into son's asscheek >son now sprints up stairs every time 33 KB JPG >monkey style Robots, why haven't you procreated?

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Anon is a cow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat) 14:09:01 No.17209437 >be cow >live cow life >one day, get shipped off to some building >get bolted in the head >wake up in cow heaven >get to watch what happens to my body >getting chopped up into different pieces gugafood 404 KB JPG >parts are getting eaten by families of humans >parts are made into dog food >glad that my body is being used for something helpful >see this gigantic fat guy with a hunk of meat from my back >lol GuYz, TODAY wE'rE dRy AglnG tHiS sTeAk In PeAnUt BuTtEr AnD c-- >mfw 52 Replies / 3 Images View Thread

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Sire, this man hath not lain with a maiden for 27 harvests | /r/Greentext

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Anon has no girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous [•1 10/25/17(Wed)18:23:22 No.81016259 1507072835073.png 559 KB PNG >There are infinite universes where I have a gf >This isn't one of them

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More than likely a repost, can't not share it though | /r/Greentext

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Anon buys groceries | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/14/21(Fri)22:30:03 No.854416103 >be me manlet 5'6 >riding train with a s--- load of groceries and a 10 kg cat litter bag >tall girl with raspy voice stands next to me >looked 20-22 at least 4 ears 525 KB PNG younger than me would you like some help with that? >instant boner

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Anon shows you something cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)21:14:00 No.66824739 Yo you wanna see something cool? go to google and type "do a barrel roll" 24 KB PNG 5 Replies / 3 Images View Thread : Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)21:19:09 No.66824796 >>66824739 (OP) # How old are you OP? Just curious. >>66824847 # >>66824957 # : Anonymous 01/02/22(Sun)21:22:18 No.66824847 >>66824796 # 29 years of age how old are you n-----? cco0 4071 H

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Anon has a pet cougar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)04:41:45 No.60562398 Help, I bought a pet cougar from my friend who moved away from our state (texas) to north carolina and I have no idea what to do with it, I feed it large amounts of cat food and meat and I let it roam free at night. Recently it brought a dog home that it killed and the dog had a collar. I had to burn the dog multiple times to erase evidence of it and now I need help getting rid of larry. Larry the couger is huge and it can probably kill a human if provoked. How do I get 81 KB JPG rid of him. Please help : Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)04:43:55 No.60562418 get a f------ gun and shoot it : Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)04:44:12 No.60562419 : Anonymous 10/21/20(Wed)04:46:15 No.60562444 that sounds like a very nice friend you made there anon. take good care of him and he will protect you from all your enemies

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Anon regrets his decisions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/01/22(Sat)23:21:09 No.66807627 >be me >huge weeb >out of anime to watch and bored out of my mind >youtube recomened meThe Cll of Chtulu's audiobook >it has a slow start but I decided to keep listening to it because I 17 KB PNG have nothing better to do >wft halfway through it and it has a better mystery than any anime >story end >litteraly coolest s--- ever >suddenly I start crying >tfw i realized that not only is anime is garbage and the normies were right but I have wasted half of my life being addicted to it

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Anon wants to wrestle too | /r/Greentext

I Anonymous 11/21/18(Wed)23:32:49 No.49421089 >wake up >lick salt lamp >time to f--- bitches up >get on computer and open tf2 >i'm bouncing up and down 77 KB JPG with excitement >hear moaning from another room >sneak into mums room and see her wrestling with new daddy >decide to join and do a big body slam next to them >"Who the f--- is this?" new daddy says >"Anon GET OUT" mum says >instinctively slap her for raising her voice to me when i didn't violate any of the rules >new daddy slaps me and we slap fight >he begins to cheat and use his fists >CHEATER CHEATER PUMPKIN EATER >swiftly break his neck and jump off the bed

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