Anon goes swimming | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: 6iroW1cc 12/02/21(Thu)21:07:15 No.350473422 >be me >weigh 650 lbs >can't really move to exercise so I just sit inside playing WoW all day >healthcare provider forced me to go water aerobics class today >most embarrassing day of my life 29 KB JPG >wheeled in and lowered into the water while lesser obese people stare >helpers let go of me, I immediately start sinking >luckily stop with nose above water, held aloft by fart gas inside stomach >sit at the back flailing around a little >rip an enormous fart >it gets trapped entirely between my asscheeks >sudden change in buoyancy causes me to flop forwards on to my face >weakly flail my arms but kind of want to die >cute skinny blonde helper can't tip me up, so she has to stick her hand into my asscrack to free the fart >she's shaking and crying afterwards saying she never wants to do volunteer work again >don't even bother apologizing, just keep my head down while they wheel me away and transport me home how was your day /pol/?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is gaming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:09:11 No.570829076 >Playing MMO >Walk up to rando >Start jumping >They jump too It's the little things, lads. 50 KB JPG

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anon gives some bad advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/02/18(Wed)17:08:54 No.45836085 >>45834564 # You should act a bit more alpha so she thinks you're a Chad, try messaging her "get your t--- out now or l'll f------ kill you. >>45837596 # Anonymous05/02/18(Wed)20:35:42 No.45837596 >>45836085 # do not do this

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Anon loves women. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:05:13 No.66402402 >straight 18 year old male with crippling sissy fetish who just wants to completely submit to a man who can fill the hole left by his father while dressed as a girl. how do i get a gf when this has somehow became what i want. 67 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)19:06:19 No.66402418 >>66402402 (OP) # >straight not sure about that one chief >>66402449 # >>66402479 #

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Anon makes a powerpoint | /r/Greentext

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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Anon's classmate knows the rules | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation

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Anon Believes that He Can Fool a Trained Nurse with a Plastic Arm | /r/Greentext

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And on that bombshell… | /r/Greentext

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Anon doesn’t know how to make food | /r/Greentext

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Anons granddad is proud | /r/Greentext

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Wtf did i just read | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon’s little brother goes to the school talent show. | /r/Greentext

Holy f--- do I have a story for you /b/ros. > be my little brother > Be at school > tard in his class has crush on 77 KB JPG 2/10 landwhale this f------ spastic hatches master plan to seduce land whale. > let's call the landwhale Katie > tard decides to go on the school talent show to sing her a song > but not just any song... > be day of talent show > tard gets last act > waddles his fat f------ ass up on stage > Gucci gang starts playing > tard opens his mouth > KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG > retard sings this, and only this for 3 minutes straight. > crowd and little bro in utter disbelief retard finishes and asks landwhale to come up on stage with him > landwhale comes up on stage grabs the mic and tells him to f--- right off Kek.mpeg > tard runs off crying and hasn't been seen since > tfw this was a week ago > tfw when he's either killed himself or is preparing his to shoot up the school > mfw

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Therapy session | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:21:50 No.66393927 therapist.jpg 207 KB JPG >"So anon, when were you last sexually active?" >"No need to be shy. One? Two months ago, maybe?"

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