Anon makes a powerpoint | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 КВ PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's classmate knows the rules | /r/Greentext

Board /b/ - Random v Settings Mobile Home : Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)23:49:19 No.867857894 > Be me > Go to primary school assembly in Year 5 (Britbong land) > One day the head teacher is asking us about school rules > Autistic kid puts hand up > Head teacher looks thrilled he can join the discussion 40 KB JPG > "Yes, what rule did you remember?" > "Don't say n-----" > Entire school hall loses it > He has to be taken outside > Head teacher can't carry on, everyone's laughing > Has to abandon assembly Sometimes it's better to assess the situation

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And on that bombshell… | /r/Greentext

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Anon doesn’t know how to make food | /r/Greentext

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Wtf did i just read | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 769031659 32 perccel ezelőt •.. Just got laid >Be Me >16 >Yesterday >At School hanging out with group of friends >See Stacy I like and get a boner >Put d--- in waistband like so many of you seem to 5,9 kB JPG recommend ItWorks.exe >Stacy comes up to me, "Oh, Hey Anon." >Gives me hug >5'5" and she is closer to 5' 10" >Have to reach up a little >D--- pops out through the top and rubs her stomach >Wasn't expecting it and instantly nut on her stomach >She was wearing a crop trop >She pulls away somewhat slowly to reveal a fat nut on her stomach >She gags and runs away nearly crying >Friends all look at me in disgust >I run off campus and am posting this from a local Dennys See Ya Later Virgins 3 REPLIES 5 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon’s little brother goes to the school talent show. | /r/Greentext

Holy f--- do I have a story for you /b/ros. > be my little brother > Be at school > tard in his class has crush on 77 KB JPG 2/10 landwhale this f------ spastic hatches master plan to seduce land whale. > let's call the landwhale Katie > tard decides to go on the school talent show to sing her a song > but not just any song... > be day of talent show > tard gets last act > waddles his fat f------ ass up on stage > Gucci gang starts playing > tard opens his mouth > KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG KATIE GANG > retard sings this, and only this for 3 minutes straight. > crowd and little bro in utter disbelief retard finishes and asks landwhale to come up on stage with him > landwhale comes up on stage grabs the mic and tells him to f--- right off Kek.mpeg > tard runs off crying and hasn't been seen since > tfw this was a week ago > tfw when he's either killed himself or is preparing his to shoot up the school > mfw

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Therapy session | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/02/21(Thu)17:21:50 No.66393927 therapist.jpg 207 KB JPG >"So anon, when were you last sexually active?" >"No need to be shy. One? Two months ago, maybe?"

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Anon’s 9th birthday | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/18/18(Wed)06:17:38 No.44761552 >9th birthday >finally made some friends at school >convince mum for a small party >my brothers go to my grandparents for the day 143 KB JPG >she buys a custom CatDog and TinyTeddy cake >help mum and dad put up decorations >make lolly bags >set up games >its 12 o clock when the party starts >get exited to she parents the friends i have made and told them about >1 hour passed >another >and another >gets to 4 o clock when we were going to the cinema to see pokemon the movie >tfw nobody came >mum holding back tears says >'do you still want to go to the movies, anon?' >yes >dad comes in with car keys >looks like he had been crying, the worst i have ever seen him to this day >go to the movies >its great get millennium pikachu card >go to McDonald >happy meal and Pokemon toy >mum and dad ask how i feel >i ask why nobody came >mum says "You're special and you made them feel jealous' >dad just has a dead smile later on that night i was in bed and heard mum and dad talking. >'are we failures of parents?' >'I don't want him to grow up and think this is normal and to be sad and alone'.

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Anon is an idiot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/08/21(Wed)12:20:56 No.65304187 >Past four years been "saving" all my vacation days >Plan was to eventually have enough vacation days that I could live off a full paycheck workless for an extended period >Just found out that vacation 92 KB PNG days do not stack, and I keep none of the days I didn't use at the end of each year F--- life

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Anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/30/21(Tue)11:24:33 No.867700680 Had a weird ass dream last night >on camping trip >meet this guy with a huge German Shepherd >guy is really into survival camping and only traveling with essentials >he hates how bulky rolls of toilet paper are and how they ruin his packing setup >tells me he trained his dog to retain an entire roll of toilet paper up its ass so he doesn't have to carry one 183 KB PNG >dog quietly whimpers Anyone else get dreams like this? 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Hilarious At Every Size | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/21/20(Mon)19:16:41 No.57552428 @FPHate 260. 1600729145133.png 557 KB PNG >this was considered comically obese in 1990

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