Anon invites Chad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 11/25/17(Sat)12:38:49 No.41357827 >be 15 a decade ago >invite Chad over to play some xbox >he has to take a piss >pisses directly into the water >his masculinity bounces off the walls and echoes throughout the entire house >see sister touching herself in the doorway, biting 9 KB PNG her lip >hear mom moaning downstairs >sister calls me a stealth pissing fuckboi and asks why I always aim for the ceramic >tfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon questions Kyle | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)14:40:40 No.866528592 1636666838535.jpg 15 KB JPG If shrimp can't fry rice then why is it called shrimp fried rice Kyle. 7 Replies View Thread

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Anon makes a discovery | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/11/21(Thu)12:21:16 No.866520335 >every girl has a tiny d--- and balls Anstumy iterie nd enis Sen Having sex with women is gay confirmed. The citeri The penis 81 KB JPG 7 Replies View Thread

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Anon was dealt a bad hand at life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/15/21(Mon)11:07:36 No.849648570 >one chance at life >born in Bosnia and Herzegovina 45 KB JPG

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Anon is a Psychiatric Case Study | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)17:07:27 No.158997931 File: 1610855440533.png (13 KB, 112x112) >158998199 >158997375 (OP) >psychiatrist asks what I enjoy doing >tell him I like doing "image edits" >he asks if I ever post them >I tell him I do and that they're used by other people and potentially seen millions of times but it's all posted anonymously >he gets really interested and asks to see >show him over 100 original pepe edits >he says he's seen the character before >next session >him and 2 other psychiatrists are in the room, says he invited them to help me >they ask more about my memes >show them my greentexts which were reposted by redditors and got tens of thousands, up to millions of views >show them my original memes that have "know your meme" pages or big online presences >they're recording me and taking notes the whole time through >get uncomfortable and don't book a follow-up appointment >doctor has offered to cover all further sessions and meet with me 3 times a week as a "case study"

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White noise | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What did I do wrong? 11/11/21(Thu)10:33:02 No.66116607 >be me (black) >go to a class with mostly white students >have to sit through diversity and race training >don't say a word >everyone notices >next day go to a project meeting 19 KB JPG with professsor and two other students, all liberal >race is again brought up in an adjacent conversation about the curriculum of diversity foe next year >I dodge all questions that I can and answer vaguely >prof notices that I'm talking less than the others >"A-Anon... as a non-white person, does talking about race around all-whites make you uncomfortable?" >"yeah." >dead silence >prof changes subject What was I supposed to say in that situation? That I'm just helpless and am in need of white saviors? God, I f------ hate white people.

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anon is a snitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: ufS+zMqE ) E 08/24/19(Sat)19:45:36 No.8616278 >ask friends for a marijuana contact >get the name of the dealer >report the dealer to crime stoppers >just got a $450 reward check in the mail because he was dealing 110 KB JPG other drugs as well and was given a 3-year sentence >act p----- off at friends that they gave me the number to someone being arrested. >tfw reported every drug dealer whilst at school >tfw got many more people arrested and significantly reduced the flow of drugs through my school >Reported a n----- on my Facebook who took a picture with a bag of weed to Crime Stoppers and he got his house raided less than 12 hrs later >Used one of my fake accounts on Facebook to convince a kid to go somewhere with ecstasy and I sent the police there he got arrested kek >Sent a report to the local Crime Stoppers that a known drug dealer at my high school was selling drugs to Middle schoolers and I got his house raided and he was arrested >Mfw snitched dealers to crime stoppers >Mfw no stitches

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Anon attempts to exploit community service | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/10/21(Wed)20:25:40 No.866487123 >trying to get into grad school >needed references >guilt tripped by my mom to be honest about it >got volunteer gig at food bank >the supervisor asks me why im volunteering 13 KB JPG >tell him its to get a reference from them >weeks pass >sink roughly 80 hours into volunteer work >ask supervisor for that reference >ill try my best paraphrasing what he said >"no. not now, not ever. these are people need and they're just a means to and end to you. i hope you learn a lesson from this" >yeah i sure learned a lesson >that honesty gets you nowhere >i should have just b---------- the references

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Anon watches south park | /r/Greentext

File: OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!.jpg (46 KB, 976x1024) U Anonymous 11/03/21(Wed)15:21:19 No.126783384 >OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY! >YOU BASTARDS!

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Anon doesn't know how to approach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous This must all be a cosmic joke 11/11/21(Thu)16:25:15 No.25274638 >6"4 >8" d--- >white >7/10 on soc >almost unfucked my social anxiety and skills >still only met one woman every 3 months because I refuse to cold approach, and only seek them through friends. >finaly almost lost v card at club but f--- it up with my 26 KB PNG inaction WHERE THE F--- do you fucbois that f--- 100 women in a year find all of them to approach.

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Anon will have an awkward dinner conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/15/21(Thu)10:49:47 No.64579795 >get new mirror on inside of door >Checking myself out all nakey in new mirror > Look at a------ >A------ is all red >Spread cheeks and bend over to get 373 KB PNG better look at red a------ >Mom opens door suddenly >Sees me bent over spreading and flexing my a------ >"Sorry" closes door What do I do now

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Anon responds to an ad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/21(Sat)10:33:16 No.848945557 >be me, home alone >family is out >browsing /b/ >see an advertisement that says "GET A HUGE C--- IN LESS THAN A DAY" >l'm lacking in the meat 150 KB PNG department, so I click on it >loading >says "Thank you, your order has been received" >I didn't put any info in >hear the front door slam open >yell "hey guys how was the shopping?" >no response >just high pitched giggles >small footsteps, then a thud >the r--- dwarf is coming >mfw

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Anon gets Grindrpilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/04/19(Sat)06:49:51 No.52252534 >Use Tinder WHAT THE F--- >No Matches >Use Grindr >Instantly get a message every couple minutes Should I just be gay? 60 KB JPG 21 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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