Anon couldnt find his pp pills | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Ir9k/ Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/08/21(Thu)22:31:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just 9 KB JPG better viagra) >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon achieves the good ending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)22:07:05 No.63932352 >be fat >find /fit/ >start eating healthy >start working out >pack lunch to work >eat fruit and protein bars >co workers make jokes about my new diet >make fun of me about how I always eat the same thing >make fun of how I say no to doughnuts brought in >months pass | >drop 30 lbs >muscle starts to show >comments stop

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Anon gets castrated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/21(Tue)15:43:48 No.3968378 photo from freepik by nikitabuida questioning-dog.png 722 KB PNG >This is Bucky, he's my best friend and I love him very much >That's why I'm going to cut his balls off Why do "people" do this to their "friends"?

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Anon hates his country | /r/Greentext

>Be me 100% JESUS >Born Brazilian >F------ hate it, but at least I'm 1% and white >Spend my entire life being disgusted by local culture and trying to get away from it >Learn english so I can 100 KB JPG communicate with foreigns >Feel superior to the rest of the scum here >When I'm abroad and people ask me where I'm from I just say Portugal, this way they don't look at me like l'm a dirty South American >When I'm abroad I also cringe when I hear people speaking brazilian portuguese >Outta nowhere though I realize that everyone I love, like family, friends and my girl, as well as many people I respect professionally are Brazilian after all >Take a deep look inside and realize something >l don't hate people because they are Brazilian, I just hate poor people, and it just happens that there are a lot of them here >Feels better

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Gordon Ramsey writes a greentext post | /r/Greentext

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Anon makes a typo | /r/Greentext

File: 3B2CAA72-E3B2-4867-A0FA-3(...).png (106 KB, 280x291) Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)12:05:09 No.866140138 > be me > google "gary oldman" > forget the r > mfw

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Power level to the people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)10:00:03 No.65073207 De-autisticification >be autistic >be very good at learning things >decide one day to start learning social skills to improve my life >memorise several social skills books 205 KB PNG >start practicing them everyday >initially make a fool of myself >eventually they become unconscious behavior and I start interacting normally with people >because I no longer come across as autistic, people begin associating my eccentricities as intelligence and creativity instead of autism >learning social skills makes me an above average communicator; can get what I want from who I want Feels good man 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)10:12:21 No.65073303 what books/sources do you recommend wise one? >>65073378 #

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jesus christ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NMSJ60GU 11/04/21(Thu)22:22:44 No.13741008 nothing's wrong >be me >lesbian 14f fm fine, i really am. fm not upset im just tred, yes, fm >active discord user >join discord server based on templar knights because my friend said so >make friend who claims to be ultra 465 KB JPG christian >he's suicidal , i'm also very suicidal >become his *only* friend >learn about his abusive family and horrible school life >months of friendship passed >i find out about the real him. >sexist, homophobic, racist >tells me he wishes i was his girlfriend because i "know my place as a woman" >feelsbadman.jpeg >my mental state is now in the ground >he guilt trips me into feeling bad for having a partner >misgenders my nonbinary partner JUST to make me want to break up with them >flash forward to last week >i am in the hospital for a suicide attempt >he messages me on discord >"i am in love with you. i will be the best boyfriend i ever can and i want to make you my beautiful tradwife. you're the most gorgeous girl i've ever seen you'll look amazing in the kitchen and " *you get the gist.* >i block him >f------ hate discord

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Anon is an honest person | /r/Greentext

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Anon gets roasted like a chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:08:51 No.854202562 >be me >in science class >class is getting off track because it's the end of the day >somehow in the middle of the conversation this one girl absolutely 131 КВ PNG roasts the s--- out of me >l'm embarrassed and try to just be cool until the conversation moves on >teacher looks at me and goes "you can tell he's trying to think of a comeback" >l say I'm not but the teacher has the whole class be silent and stare at me expecting a comeback >l spit out something and everyone pity claps I sill remember this years later. Mr. Jenkins if you're reading this, f--- you.

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From Sigma to Beta in 42 seconda | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)12:20:41 No.866140467 >gf came home drunk from work at 12pm >l'm sleeping >she's loud banging s--- and wakes me up >l wake up p----- and ask where the f--- she was >she said there was a work get together >know there's a coworker there who likes her >l'm f------ livid >she's drunkenly trying to make Mac and cheese >throw her on bed and force her clothes off >she's yelling at me >slap her and yell if you want to act like a w---- she can be one >stick d--- in her >she's freaking the f--- out and fighting back >smack her again and hold her arms tears are streaming her face >spread her legs and force myself in >she stops fighting >she starts rocking into me after a minute >f--- her roughly >she orgasms hard >l c-- inside her and roll off her disgusted by her >she's all meak looking and crawls towards me on her knees >she lays her head in my chest and says sorry >l give her a small kiss and tell her it's ok

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Anon learns great responsibility | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Peter, make sure to wear gloves when working with poisonous animals, especially spiders and women. They like to stab you with thier fangs and suck out all the life and happiness right out of you. That's all a woman is - a hideous, poison-filled parasite. >Now I know what you're thinking, "But Uncle Ben, you're married to a woman." Shut the f--- up Peter, don't talk about May that way. You think l'd marry a real woman? Why do you think we don't have any kids of our own? Trust me Peter, beneath "her" dress is a c--- and pair of balls as old and wrinlky as a month-old zuccini and a pair 7 KB JPG of avocados. Her a------ is like a used rubber band now but back when she was young, goddamn she was as tight as a infant and just as smooth. >Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, spiders. Wear gloves. I saw on the news a farmer got bit by a wolf and turned into a werewolf. His brother got his finger slammed in the front door of his house and now he's a werehouse. Has to have forklifts drive into his recieving dock every day, unloading boxes. >Anyway, I wanted to tell you all this before the Alzheimers gets me.

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Anon gets intimate with a female | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)13:17:34 No.866141962 r1591.jpg 140 KB JPG Here's how I ate p---- for the first time: >Be me, 15. With a woman around twice my age. >Her bush is overgrown and red as Russia >I feel like Moses talking to the burning bush >l'm pretty drunk. >She tells me to eat her p----. >l'm 15 and a male, I don't know what a female orgasm is. >l don't wanna ask her what to do and seem like a chump. >Eureka! Eating p---- means eating the pubic hair off of it. That's why all the pornstars don't have hair down there. >Not going to defend my actions, just sayingI was a 15- year-old drunk retard. >I bite a mouthful of her bush and rip it off her. >She screams in pain and surprise. >She cries and cusses me out, askin what the hell is wrong with me. >l'm there, on my knees,chewing on the hair like a barnyard animal. >She leaves. >Foiled again.

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