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Ir9k/ Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/08/21(Thu)22:31:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just 9 KB JPG better viagra) >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded

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Anonymous DIS-Avowed 11/27/24(Wed)05:30:27 No.695700 VIDEO GAMES 'Avowed' Art Director Matt Hansen Admits To Wanting To Make Elon Musk "Mad" And Hint Game Is Ultra Woke JOHN F. TRENT NOV 26, 2024 - PAID 3 D1 ~ OBSIDIAN MATT_HANSEN ART DIRECTOR OBSIDIAN ENTERTAINMENT OBSIDIAN Matt Hansen the art director for Xbox and Obsidian Entertainment's upcoming fi person fantasy RPG admitted that he wanted to make Elon Musk "mad" with the game. 75486787548769.png 294 KB PNG >"I will make it political just to make chuds mad" >"And i achieved it! i made people mad" >"F--- chuds!" >"Win!" >"W-wait... what's that? my game flopped?!" >"Wait... there are layoffs in my studio? how-" >"P-people didn't like me trying to make them mad!" >"t-they are bigots!" >"F--- gamers! it's rough times for game developers man, this society is failing in so many levels it's unbelievable!" >"Y-you are laughing!, there are families involved and you are laughing!"

File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

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Anon achieves the good ending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/14/21(Thu)22:07:05 No.63932352 >be fat >find /fit/ >start eating healthy >start working out >pack lunch to work >eat fruit and protein bars >co workers make jokes about my new diet >make fun of me about how I always eat the same thing >make fun of how I say no to doughnuts brought in >months pass | >drop 30 lbs >muscle starts to show >comments stop

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Anon gets castrated | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/02/21(Tue)15:43:48 No.3968378 photo from freepik by nikitabuida questioning-dog.png 722 KB PNG >This is Bucky, he's my best friend and I love him very much >That's why I'm going to cut his balls off Why do "people" do this to their "friends"?

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Anon hates his country | /r/Greentext

>Be me 100% JESUS >Born Brazilian >F------ hate it, but at least I'm 1% and white >Spend my entire life being disgusted by local culture and trying to get away from it >Learn english so I can 100 KB JPG communicate with foreigns >Feel superior to the rest of the scum here >When I'm abroad and people ask me where I'm from I just say Portugal, this way they don't look at me like l'm a dirty South American >When I'm abroad I also cringe when I hear people speaking brazilian portuguese >Outta nowhere though I realize that everyone I love, like family, friends and my girl, as well as many people I respect professionally are Brazilian after all >Take a deep look inside and realize something >l don't hate people because they are Brazilian, I just hate poor people, and it just happens that there are a lot of them here >Feels better

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Gordon Ramsey writes a greentext post | /r/Greentext

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Anon makes a typo | /r/Greentext

File: 3B2CAA72-E3B2-4867-A0FA-3(...).png (106 KB, 280x291) Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)12:05:09 No.866140138 > be me > google "gary oldman" > forget the r > mfw

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Power level to the people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)10:00:03 No.65073207 De-autisticification >be autistic >be very good at learning things >decide one day to start learning social skills to improve my life >memorise several social skills books 205 KB PNG >start practicing them everyday >initially make a fool of myself >eventually they become unconscious behavior and I start interacting normally with people >because I no longer come across as autistic, people begin associating my eccentricities as intelligence and creativity instead of autism >learning social skills makes me an above average communicator; can get what I want from who I want Feels good man 2 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 08/21/21(Sat)10:12:21 No.65073303 what books/sources do you recommend wise one? >>65073378 #

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jesus christ | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: NMSJ60GU 11/04/21(Thu)22:22:44 No.13741008 nothing's wrong >be me >lesbian 14f fm fine, i really am. fm not upset im just tred, yes, fm >active discord user >join discord server based on templar knights because my friend said so >make friend who claims to be ultra 465 KB JPG christian >he's suicidal , i'm also very suicidal >become his *only* friend >learn about his abusive family and horrible school life >months of friendship passed >i find out about the real him. >sexist, homophobic, racist >tells me he wishes i was his girlfriend because i "know my place as a woman" >feelsbadman.jpeg >my mental state is now in the ground >he guilt trips me into feeling bad for having a partner >misgenders my nonbinary partner JUST to make me want to break up with them >flash forward to last week >i am in the hospital for a suicide attempt >he messages me on discord >"i am in love with you. i will be the best boyfriend i ever can and i want to make you my beautiful tradwife. you're the most gorgeous girl i've ever seen you'll look amazing in the kitchen and " *you get the gist.* >i block him >f------ hate discord

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Anon is an honest person | /r/Greentext

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Anon gets roasted like a chicken | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/21(Tue)21:08:51 No.854202562 >be me >in science class >class is getting off track because it's the end of the day >somehow in the middle of the conversation this one girl absolutely 131 КВ PNG roasts the s--- out of me >l'm embarrassed and try to just be cool until the conversation moves on >teacher looks at me and goes "you can tell he's trying to think of a comeback" >l say I'm not but the teacher has the whole class be silent and stare at me expecting a comeback >l spit out something and everyone pity claps I sill remember this years later. Mr. Jenkins if you're reading this, f--- you.

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From Sigma to Beta in 42 seconda | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)12:20:41 No.866140467 >gf came home drunk from work at 12pm >l'm sleeping >she's loud banging s--- and wakes me up >l wake up p----- and ask where the f--- she was >she said there was a work get together >know there's a coworker there who likes her >l'm f------ livid >she's drunkenly trying to make Mac and cheese >throw her on bed and force her clothes off >she's yelling at me >slap her and yell if you want to act like a w---- she can be one >stick d--- in her >she's freaking the f--- out and fighting back >smack her again and hold her arms tears are streaming her face >spread her legs and force myself in >she stops fighting >she starts rocking into me after a minute >f--- her roughly >she orgasms hard >l c-- inside her and roll off her disgusted by her >she's all meak looking and crawls towards me on her knees >she lays her head in my chest and says sorry >l give her a small kiss and tell her it's ok

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Anon learns great responsibility | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >Peter, make sure to wear gloves when working with poisonous animals, especially spiders and women. They like to stab you with thier fangs and suck out all the life and happiness right out of you. That's all a woman is - a hideous, poison-filled parasite. >Now I know what you're thinking, "But Uncle Ben, you're married to a woman." Shut the f--- up Peter, don't talk about May that way. You think l'd marry a real woman? Why do you think we don't have any kids of our own? Trust me Peter, beneath "her" dress is a c--- and pair of balls as old and wrinlky as a month-old zuccini and a pair 7 KB JPG of avocados. Her a------ is like a used rubber band now but back when she was young, goddamn she was as tight as a infant and just as smooth. >Anyways, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, spiders. Wear gloves. I saw on the news a farmer got bit by a wolf and turned into a werewolf. His brother got his finger slammed in the front door of his house and now he's a werehouse. Has to have forklifts drive into his recieving dock every day, unloading boxes. >Anyway, I wanted to tell you all this before the Alzheimers gets me.

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Anon gets intimate with a female | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/05/21(Fri)13:17:34 No.866141962 r1591.jpg 140 KB JPG Here's how I ate p---- for the first time: >Be me, 15. With a woman around twice my age. >Her bush is overgrown and red as Russia >I feel like Moses talking to the burning bush >l'm pretty drunk. >She tells me to eat her p----. >l'm 15 and a male, I don't know what a female orgasm is. >l don't wanna ask her what to do and seem like a chump. >Eureka! Eating p---- means eating the pubic hair off of it. That's why all the pornstars don't have hair down there. >Not going to defend my actions, just sayingI was a 15- year-old drunk retard. >I bite a mouthful of her bush and rip it off her. >She screams in pain and surprise. >She cries and cusses me out, askin what the hell is wrong with me. >l'm there, on my knees,chewing on the hair like a barnyard animal. >She leaves. >Foiled again.

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Greentext Stories - Anon couldnt find his pp pills | /r/Greentext

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Ir9k/ Anonymous mom found out my peepee proble(...) 04/08/21(Thu)22:31:41 No.63121036 >be me >very nervous >crippling anxiety makes it impossible to keep an erection infront of a woman >go to the psychiatrist >she gives me tadalafil pills (just 9 KB JPG better viagra) >save them >forget where i saved them >look around for an hour, no clue where they are >think mom saved them >ask mom where did she put the "orange pills" >"what are those orange pills for anon"? >"I.. Uh... I uh uhm have you seen them or not?" >"ANON WHAT ARE THOSE PILLS FOR" >Almost crying from shame, say the truth >"... So have you seen them?" >"No" >Give it one more shot before giving up >look under my bed >The pills are there I just. I can't. Maybe I shouldn't be able to reproduce, being this retarded

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