Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)17:41:07 No.65861496 >unintentionally did nofap for a week while vacationing at my parents place >actually jerked off because I was legitimately horny, not bored >m----------- now feels like it 148 KB JPG did when I was a kid This nofap stuff might not be totally useless after all..

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets cucked by an old friend | /r/Greentext

File: d90.jpg (75 KB, 482x427) I Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)14:35:24 No.865371560 >be me a long time ago, loser teenager >like this girl, but too much of a coward to ask her out >she would never want to be with me, I'm into nerdy s--- like sci-fi >l also have confidence issues because I get bullied in school >one day, this random chad dude comes to town >really interested in me and my life >confronts the bullies and manages to convince the girl to go to a school dance with me >literally the same night as the dance he leaves the town and I never see him again >ffw many years >get rich selling sci-fi books >hire one of the bullies as my personal assistant to rub my success on his face >marry the same girl and have two kids, with another one on the way >when we find out it's a boy, decide to call him after that chad dude >as he grows up, I see he looks exactly like the man he was named after >mfw I realize the chad dude probably never left and my wife had been f------ him for decades without me knowing >mfw I'm George McFly, from 1985's---- movie "Back to the Future"

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Anon tells a cutting joke | /r/Greentext

| File: 1439972638664.png (1.23 MB, 912x905) O Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)21:54:45 No.28630210 [Reply] >go get haircut >qt hairdresser asks me what kind of cut I want >I tell her one across my wrists will be fine and laugh >she starts crying and runs to the back of the shop why don't normies have any sense of humor? + 3 replies omitted. Click here to view. O Anonymous 05/17/16(Tue)22:53:57 No.28631069 >>28630210 (OP) 10/10 op, hope she killed herself kek

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anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/23/21(Sat)11:34:58 No.65866865 >be me >get a match on tinder with 8/10 qt >goes on a date with her >smalltalk.mp3 >she asks what is my main goal in life >l answer : " The complete destruction of the state of Israel " 33 KB JPG >doesn't elaborate >leaves >go home and fap to some /h/ s---

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Anon somehow... idk? I'm glad he's happy | /r/Greentext

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Top-tier Late Night comedy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/19(Mon)14:00:05 No.120427931 >"Trump being President is like a SQUIRREL riding a skateboard." *image of squirrel photoshopped onto skateboard appears, audience laughs* >"It's entertaining for a few minutes, but then you start to wonder how the F--- it got there!" 48 KB JPG *audience explodes into laughter and applause* *Oliver turns to image of squirrel* >"That's not a good way to find nuts, Chirpy. Get a real job, you're parents are worried!" *camera cuts to man in audience wearing a squirrel costume and holding a skateboard as he gives Oliver the middle finger and walks off, audience gives standing ovation*

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Anon is in a movie | /r/Greentext

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Never ever make friends at work | /r/Greentext

1• #766588468 4/21/18, 11:52 PM Just got fired from my job of 5 years. > meet new guy, seems pretty cool > eventually learn he's into memes so we share a few > a couple weeks ago I share with him a moonman song > "I'm killing n------, I'm killing n------ (Please stop)" > he laughs > next day after the weekend i find out he reported me to our boss > he's black > tells me to get my s--- and leave

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Anon reads his life’s terms and conditions | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/02/21 (Mon)16:57:07 No.860215884 >Read 314 pages of terms and conditions >Clicked 'disagree' 1.09 MB GIF

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Anon wants to go to the river | /r/Greentext

File: Lintro-1625073971.jpg (146 KB, 1600x901) Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)21:43:13 No.65860293 >be me >search for amazon on google >the first results aren't the river >mfw

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Anon has terrible teeth | /r/Greentext

Teeth Anonymous No. 65857322 11 minutes ago 1619857492782.png PNG 351.1 KiB 750x686 >have a lot of plaque on teeth >need to see a dentist to get it cleaned off >dentists aren't taking any patients because of memeflu >been over a year now >plaque has spread all over my bottom teeth, can't go outside or talk to people anymore because it looks disgusting 3 replies ...

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Anon is pissed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/15/21(Fri)11:17:12 No.844890355 >Be me >Want to make a post on 4chan >Make a nice wholesome story about my dad >Spend long time on it to make sure that it's good >Post my art 61 KB JPG >Some reddit normie sees this >He smells the karma and posts it in r/greentexts >He gets hundreds of upvotes from my hardwork >Mfw Why are redditers like this, Anons? They're probably going to see this thread and post it for karma. I see you, reddit.

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Homo Rejectus | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/22/21(Fri)16:45:28 No.65860911 >be me >really good looking incel so everyone thinks I'm gay because normie minds can't comprehend the concept of autism or s----- personality >get idea >message a girl desperately and 9 KB PNG comment on all her posts >she puts me on her story, laughing at my desperation, just as expected >everyone thinks I'm straight now Machevellian, you've gots to be anon.

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