Anon helicopter | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous illegal camping 1.07 MB PNG 86 Replies / 14 Images Anonymous what are the consequences if you get caught camping illegally in a state park? >homeless people do it, why can't i? 08/29/22(Mon)01:22:44 No.2450551 >go camp state park bad? >good >but the helicopters 214 KB PNG >but the helicopters >good >but the helicopters >but the helicopters >but the helicopters 09/09/22 (Fri)23:00:23 No.2458235 >good >but the helicopters >bad View Thread unironically take your meds, helicopters are not coming to find some fucklard who has only camped twice in their life just because he went off trail for one night

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon differentiates british and american documentaries | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous XTREME 1.44 MB PNG 08/28/22(Sun)14:26:51 No.4287166 >British documentary >Here, in the jungles of Bhata- Tuthu, the praying mantis is in search of its prey. >3 minutes of very clean and uninterrupted footage of the praying mantis following a spider >American documentary >Guitar riffs in the backround >YOU PROBABLY WOULDNT WANT ONE OF THESE KILLERS IN YOUR BACK YARD >Rapid jump cuts of the praying mantis >THE PRAYING MANTIS MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUG IN CHURCH, BUT THIS NASTY MOTHER-SUCKER IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH >More flashy jump cuts >THIS LITTLE SPIDER DOESNT KNOW WHATS WAITING FOR HIM, THE FURY OF THE MANTIS IS NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED >More flashy jump cuts >The mantis strikes >Strange animal growling and screeching noises are dubbed in as it attacks because silent footage is too boring for americans >Slow mo replay of the attack in black and white >AND ITS OVER IN A FLASH >THAT LITTLE SPIDER >SHOULD'VE PRAYED >TO THE MANTIS >Starwipe to next clip

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Anon Just Wants To Play Vidya | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/12/22(Mon)17:37:42 No.611821050 0+ Nintendo Queen Elizabeth II 1926-2022 This device is unavailable for the Royal period of Mourning and will continue to be until Monday 19 September FcZyn8eWQAMQUih.jpg 248 KB JPG >>611820923 # >cant even play any videogames for 10 days

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Stockholm syndrome | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fi 57 KB JPG 09/13/22(Tue)03:06:55 No.70193800 >Sweden votes right wing >right wingers restricts immigration massively >yes lets go Sweden is based and rich and full of hot chicks I want to move there >holup.jpeg >well s---

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Anon is an artistic artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/13/22(Tue)16:21:13 No.6271766 5ce3d1b485600a647608ea54.jpg 369 KB JPG >be me >my whole life: >"Wow anon, you're so artistic" >"Look everyone! It's anon the artist!" >silly me, decide to believe them >spend 10 years of my life making over 800 paintings and 700 drawings >ONLY SELL ONE >mfw it turns out I'm autistic, not artistic >mfw I'm 37 and I'm about to kms pic very related

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anon asks for relationship advice on /b/ | /r/Greentext

> be me, university student › go to team meetings for a program I'm in > meeting location is far from campus > no car, so cute girl drives me home I think I rly like her, what do I do anons :( 10m (9/13 1:08) - 70188814 : >>70188771 (OP) I can't believe there are people with lives that put them in situations like this here. Why are you here? Focus on that life 9m (9/13 1:09). 70188826 ⠀ >>70188771 (OP) Don't be an idiot. She's there to learn and you're just her classmate. She's being nice to you but thats it 7m (9/13 1:11). 70188854 >>70188771 (OP) KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW KILL HER NOW :

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bad thing happens | /r/Greentext

Most evil thing you've ever done thread No.54644228 09/30/19(Mon)07:16:32 evil.jpg JPG 31.6 KiB 404x512 >Bored as f--- >Call random number >Woman answers >"Hi it's the school calling about your child" >"About Jack? what's wrong?" >"Nothing. We just wanted to let you know the music teacher apparently says you've got a little Elvis on your hands" >"Really?" >"Yeah, we just found him dead on the toilet" >Hang up

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Yep, that's a 4chan user | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: CZIJ+toW 321 KB PNG 09/12/22(Mon)20:56:02 No.395108531 >right-wingers hate me because I'm a trony >left-wingers hate me because I'm a National Socialist 36 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Let them eat cake | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 32 KB JPG 09/12/22(Mon)21:36:13 >go on date with 6/10 foid from Tinder >she won't decide on what she wants to order >order strawberry shortcake for both of us >she kind of stares at me No.70191586 autistically >think she wants to say something >she extends her fork and takes the strawberry off my cake >starts laughing like she thinks she's cute >I say nothing, just death stare, like picrel >I finish my cake and end the date early >she's still texting me What the f--- is her problem?

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67 year old Anon starts taking Cialis and posts his first Greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous GENERIC CIALIS Tadalafil Tablets USP 5 mg Ronly TABLETS TEVA 09/13/22(Tue)07:42:47 No.885559557 40 KB JPG I'm 67 years old. My grandson was getting in a lot of trouble at school. Hel told me about this site. Now I read it for fun. This is my Greentext >Be me 67 year old Anon >I can't get it up anymore, because I'm old and have s----- blood pressure >My doctor prescribes generic Cialis >It's a low dose that you take daily so that you're ready whenever >When I was 13, I started thinking about a Playboy I'd found and this one girl in class had a really tight sweater- you degenerates have it easy today >I got a raging erection. The bell rang for the end of class. I tried to hide it, but everyone could tell it was there. >The head of my engorged c--- rubbing against my jeans made me blow a massive load. >A few days after I started Cialis, I went to the grocery store. There's this sexy 20 something cashier. >I got a massive erection. She could see it, the simple kid bagging groceries could see it, and the family in line behind me saw it. >The head of my engorged c--- rubbing against my slacks made me blow a massive load >I hadn't j----- in maybe 6 months because of the impotence. >Everyone saw my orgasm face and heard me make the sound a man makes when he fires off a load >At least half a cup of j--- was running down my leg >Luckily I'm old, so I pretended it was a mini-stroke and that I'd p----- myself. >It was believable and everyone forgot about the obvious erection from moments ago >The grocery store manager called an ambulance. I spent a few hours in the emergency room, and they sent me home. >Second best orgasm ever

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anon gets replaced | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous like clockwork 449 KB PNG 09/13/22(Tue)11:29:40 No.70193912 > be me > very good friends with woman > move in together as room mates to save rent > super chill for two months, doing lots of fun stuff together, at least talking every day > woman gets boyfriend > tells me about it > goes completely no-contact from that exact day on > never at home, sleeps over at his place or he is at our place > fast forward six weeks > talked like three or four times in that time > I told her that I dislike that she's done this and that I feel replaced > she says: oh, that was not my intention, I'm sorry. But I left some muffins for you to eat last week (that she made with her boyfriend) > that was the entire response I didn't even eat the muffins but I'm surprised she considers muffins and six weeks of suddenly no contact as room mates to be equal Imao. Not even sure what I'm supposed to do, I just moved roughly four months ago so moving again is not really an option.

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Britbong take | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 247 KB JPG 09/13/22(Tue)13:21:41 No.885557543 NOT. MY. KING. : Anonymous >>885557543 (OP) # I didn't vote for him 09/13/22(Tue)13:23:55 No.885557586

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Anon gets his revenge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Will 15 KB JPG 09/13/22(Tue)08:23:11 No.885560737 >Be me, 25 year old f--- up >When I was a kid, I was really into camping and hiking. So I joined the Boy Scouts >The Scoutmaster - call him Mr Jenkins - was a p--- >He regularly molested me. Touched me, him made me touch >It escalated to being forced to suck him off and r----- me in the ass >I never told anyone. >Completely f----- me up. >Dropped out of college twice because I did too much weed and ecstasy >Then I became a femboy. I'm into women, but I never had a relationship with a female >It was easier to dress like a girl and let guys f--- me >I stopped the femboy thing, but people back home knew about it >Home for Christmas last year and I ran into Mr. Jenkins at a gas station >He looked at me and said "I tried to make you a man, but you're just a sissy f-----." >I doubt Mr. Jenkins is on here, but if you're read this - I'm the sissy who burned your house down by crossing some wires on your outdoor Christmas lights and making it look like an electrical fire >Turns out I did learn something in Boy Scouts. (pic related - Electricity Merit Badge)

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