Anon tries to connect with the Chinese | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 09/04/21(Sat)14:51:47 No.65253170 >at Chinese restaurant >tried to be funny and said "arigato" ironically, like I know that the place is actually Chinese and that's the point >staff wasn't amused 1.05 MB JPG Why am I like this 1 Reply View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon experiences a containment breach | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)17:18:05 No.861770116 Happened last night >See spider on floor >Giant >Trap it under a mug >Go to sleep >Wake up, go to move the spider out of the house 6 KB JPG >Lift cup >It's gone ITS F------ GONE : Anonymous 08/25/21(Wed)17:19:34 No.861770185 >spider gone 73 KB JPG

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Anon is in college | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)20:18:46 No.862379386 >>862379430 >>862380807 >be walking around campus after classes >see cute girl >short skirt, crop top, thigh highs the works >myfuckingdick.mp3 >sneak behind her and follow at a distance to not be creepy >stroking my c--- in my pocket the entire time >get close and sneak closer behind her >smell her hair as soon as l'm about to coom >whip d--- out and j--- all over her backside >she turns around screaming at me >I run as fast as I can back to my car >drive tf out of there and back to my place >sit in ecstasy about being so close to a girl >later get an emergency alert from my uni that cops are looking for a tall, muscular man with black hair for sexual assault >tall, muscular man things are finally looking up bros

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Anon is vegan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/01/21(Wed)09:21:34 No.16632428 >eat plants exclusively >live over 100 years what's your excuse, f------? 1.86 MB JPG

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Anon is a sociopath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/28/20(Fri)10:24:35 No.835020867 >Be me >Cook in chain restaurant >Almost never wash hands out of laziness even after taking a s--- >Cook and handle countless orders all day sometimes without gloves. 118 KB JPG IDC <Customer complains online and to the local paper she got fecal contamination food poisoning >Feel bad because I think I s--- poisoned her >We have a hand hygiene meeting >Coworkers confides in me afterwards that he rarely watches his hands even after s------- >Act disgusted and tell him to watch his damn hands it's easy. >He says he will and seems really bothered >Still don't wash my hands 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/28/20(Fri)10:27:22 No.835020989 >>835020867 (OP) # maybe... stop working at a place that handles food?

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Anon lusts | /r/Greentext

File: 8DFED927-DCEA-4F21-A9D9-A(...).jpg (135 KB, 1024x1537) O Anonymous 09/04/21(Sat)01:17:11 No.862396802 >be me >21 year old asian girl >god how badly i want to f--- an overweight greasy 30 year old american who still lives with their parents >go on twitch >watch my favorite genshin impact streamer >37 year old man with tons of takeout food bags behind him >at this point im drooling and my p---- is dripping wet >donate 100 US dollars and ask him to acknowledge me >stream ends as soon as i donate fml

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Anon sees a cool trick | /r/Greentext

*CLAP* *CLAP* peepoclap.png 91 KB PNG >at skate park with friends >trying to do tricks >best we can do are s----- kickflips and alis >guy in a wheelchair is watching us >guy doesn't say anything just stares at us >about an hour passes and he rolls over to us >'hey kids, you wanna see a awesome trick?" >we all say yeah >mfw he screams 'WWWWWEEE' and rolls himself into on coming traffic and gets hit my a semi

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Anon buys lunch | /r/Greentext

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Hello darkness my old friend | /r/Greentext

: Anon 09/04/21(Sat)00:01:36 No.65250642 >met cute girl >talk for a week or so and we go out on a date >she's really cool, we go back to her place and listen to music and talk for hours 58 KB JPG >rarely ever go on dates >almost never go on a second date because i'm usually not interested >this girl is different, really cool and fun to hang out with >talk all this week, she seems genuinely excited to see me again >schedule a second date for friday (today) >thursday she texts me saying she'll have to delay our date a bit >going to dinner with coworker first >tell her it's totally fine and that i can just come a bit later >don't think much of it because she was upfront and honest about it >today comes around >she texts me saying she's not feeling well and will have to cancel >'coincidentally' a while after she said she was going to be out for dinner >tell her it's all right and asks if she'd like to reschedule to this weekend >text her again a few hours later asking how she's feeling >read 4 hours ago >cripplinganxiety.png >mrbrightsidewasright.rar >listen to radiohead all night >text a few friends saying i'm feeling down and asking if any of them have time to talk >no responses just when i thought i was out, the doomer life pulled me back in

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Anon drinks milk | /r/Greentext

File: yrkfgg609xf71.jpg (26 KB, 640x301) : Anonymous 08/02/21(Mon)21:38:17 No.3883316 >Moo at a cow >lt moos back We are friends 101 KB PNG Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)21:28:48 No.862382902 > be me > asleep, dreaming > am really thirsty in dream > sudden desire for milk > search everywhere for milk to quench my thirst > wake up > idea.jpg > get glass > meticulously get the ice out the freezer > pour milk > drink a delicious glass of milk cross legged on my kitchen floor at 1am > living the dream

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Anon gets a match on Tinder. | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 09/03/21(Fri)21:29:44 No.65249827 >>65249886 >>65250281 > Get a match on Tinder > The girl is actually attractive, e-girl energy that I've been craving for > Pretty much nonexistent t---, but nice ass > We chat for a bit, sharing our similar music taste. We're both kind of awkward, but our energy matches together. It's perfect. > We quickly share our numbers later and text all night. > Text her at work the next day, asking if she can come over to my apartment after my shift > She says yes > H--------. This is my first actual fling since the pandemic. I'm so happy. > I get home and I hear a knock. > It's her > She looks so much better in person than in her photos. > We get high and make out for a bit > She takes off her clothes > Reveals a massive c--- > Still hit it F---. Why is my life like this.

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Beer For Two Please | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/02/21(Thu)09:25:30 No.63319536 >be me >at grocery store buying steak, asparagus and beer after gym >in tank top after back day, still massive pump >go pay >there's a qt goth gf working the register >asks for my id because beer >out of state ID “she says oh are you visiting here?" >"no haha" >she tried to make small talk about where l'm from but I don't like talking about my privacy >she goes "that's a lot of beer, are you going to drink all this by yourself or is your girlfriend helping?" >say "no haha it's for me but i won't drink it all tonight." >she says "oh ok, this is my favorite beer and I get off in an hour." >say "oh cool haha" >pay and walk out >mfw she doesn't talk to me anymore it's ok tho, rejecting girls with my autism is usually funner than pursuing them

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r/greentext will eventually surpass r/4chan to become the largest 4chan-themed subreddit | /r/Greentext

greentext join 1,201,396 readers 5,469 users here now 4chan join 1,219,318 readers 1,434 users here now

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