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> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Anon experiences typical day in healthcare | /r/Greentext

>Be male 26y RN >Sort of Dudebroish. >Been working at a Pediatric hospital(l actually really don't like kids) >Doing an administration of new kid >T1 Diabetic. >Sexual trauma, with really bad burns on his right arm >Both parents lost custody and are in jail >CPS is getting him checked out before putting him in the system >Been through the same thing so I know he'|l be in a state facility for quite some time >Feelbadbutwhatevernotme.jpg >Figure he'll be here a week before they ship him to a orphanage. >Fastforward >Doing his Pre dinner injection/regular assessments >Kid looks a lot like me when I was a kid >Tried to turn on the TV and talk to him, but he won't say anything to me >Give him his light and right as I go to leave he begs me to stay >Caught up with work at the moment, and it is in my Job description. Figure he'll just cry and tell me what happened to him. >Actually end up talking about his interests >He played Civ 4 and liked it, was a really big fan of Kirby games, however his favorite game so far was demon souls when he played it at his friends house >holyshitthiskidiscool.jpg >Literally spent an hour talking to him, getting behind on my rounds at the same time. >Do double shifts as much as possible just to hang out with him >Friends wondering why I'm working so hard, they don't understand that I'm actually excited to go to work for once >Kid is piratically my little brother at this point >Considering applying to be his foster father, talked to the state/my job about it. >Literally no push back from the state, just have to show I have a stable housing and good income(esypsy) >Job upset, however they understand and tell me I can't be his nurse due to conflict of interest, and I have to be on leave till he's discharged. >He's getting discharged in 2 days w/e. >cont'd : Anonymous 03/18/16(Fri)12:25:37 No.674590932 >>674589230 # >Gonna surprise him tomorrow the day before he gets discharged >look up cool room designs for him, really excited 338 KB JPG >Notice new nurse working the hall >Tell her all about his favorite foods and how too approach him/talk to him >Brushes me off and tells me I need to go. >Tell her to just be mindful. >Feel like I can be the father I never had >I know it's gonna be rough but I love this kid enough to give up my life for him >Fastforward to the morning >Was too excited to sleep >Notice Police cars by where I walk in >Notuncommon >DoN is talking to officers >Her face goes pure white as soon as she sees me >Look at her strangely as I walk to kidsbros room >Not there >Look for him in the activity room >Not there >DoN stopped talking to officers at this point, still staring >Walk up and ask her where kid bro is >She can't look me in the face >Panicing at this point >"Where is he?."Voice noticeably raised. >All she can mutter is "I'm sorry..." >Heart drops >Literally starting running back and forth down the halls looking for him >Another nurse had to tell me what happened because the DoN was too afraid >Kidbro died because the new nurse doubled his insulin injections. TWICE >Walk into his room and sit on his bed crying >Never knew I was this emotional >Quit my job the next day Bye Shawn, I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you...You made me realize how badly I wanted to be the father you should of had, that I should of had.

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/04/18(Thu)00:49:35 No.42248973 Social f--- up thread? >Be me >Hungry before work >See donut shop and think "f--- it, that sounds pretty good" >Go inside and get a chocolate BER EEE EEEEEEEEE 172 KB PNG donut and a chocolate muffin >Cashier says "Wow, lots of chocolate today huh?" >"Haha yeah, I'm the chocolate man from chocolate land." >never return there Why am I like this?

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Anon finds evidence of Nazi atrocities | /r/Greentext

Daniella Hill @Daniella_Hill Nazis killed my great- grandmas friend in Belgium by putting him in a giant freezer, he fell out and broke into pieces infront of her... 2:11 PM · 8/17/12 · Twitter Web Client 1566280174666.jpg 62 KB JPG >the holocaust was fa- : Anonymous (ID: P85Z×RYU 08/20/19(Tue)05:41:40 No.223748152 >223746792 (OP) # nazis drew a tunel on a wall and my grandpa ran in to it and died 15 KB JPG >>223748236 # >>223748504 # >>223749077 # >>223749200 # >>223749945 # >>223750793 # >>223750928 # >>223751221 # >>223751485 # >>223752175 #

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Atleast we got a cool meme format | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/06/21(Fri)20:03:55 No.112188222 the virgin jockey vs the uncooperative chad stallion.jpg 118 KB JPG >dedicate several years of your life training for the olympics >be on gold course >go from #1 to rock bottom because your performance in a meme discipline gets foiled by a f------ horse >>112188359 #

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Anon has birthday at mom's | /r/Greentext

>be me >Divorced parents >Weekends with mom >l had birthday >l arrived to mom's place >She had s--- job with low money >Enter her flat >She kissed me and show me her presents/gifts >She bought entire pizza just for me, and Star Wars Force Unleased for PSP >One of best days in life

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Anon roleplays | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/09/21(Mon)20:37:09 No.860703546 >be me, bisexual girl on Discord >join 13+ NSFW server >mod slides into my DMs, asks for nudes >say "go back to 4chan" How do you feel about this? You are the home of this b-------. 9 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/09/21 (Mon)20:45:20 No.860703993 >>860703546 (OP) # >be you >sweaty obese man >larping How does it feel anon?

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Anon has a nightly encounter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/15/20(Thu)08:03:25 No.26452956 >>26425930 (OP) # >Be me 13 >Get up for a glass of water at 1am >Living room pitch black, except the glow from a dull yellow lamp >Hear a voice calling my name: "anon." and pausing before calling again: "anon." >Get a really weird sensation in my legs as I look around the room. >I think "ah man, the schizophrenia's kicking in" >"Anon." and I notice the voice is coming from outside the window >Walk over to the window, and the voice says "good night anon" >lt was just my dad out in the yard looking at stars

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Anon Has a Good Outlook on Achieving His Life Goals... Right? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/15/19(Thu)20:11:48 No.53925486 >Walk up to boss >"Hey anything we gotta do around here?" >"Yeah we gotta do all the drum brakes on the trailers but some of the bolts broke off so you'll have to melt em off with the cutting torch." 82 KB JPG >Pretend he is an NPC giving me a quest >Money is my EXP >Each pay period is a level up >level 208 right now keep grinding out the levels friends

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Anon has hope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:14:08 No.62270735 a girl in my Spanish zoom class dm'd me saying nice job when I got a question right today. Is there hope? 21 KB JPG 2 Replies /1 Image View Thread : Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)20:15:21 No.62270750 >>62270735 (OP) # >He's mistaking a nicety for affection again 8 KB PNG

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Anon is Christian | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/21 (Tue)19:28:06 No.27883609 >Gave birth to himself to kill himself as a sacrifice himself in order to appease himself so that he would no longer have to throw us into a fiery pit for all eternity because he made us in a way that was not up to his own very high standard 31 KB JPG Thanks? 94 Replies / 6 Images View Thread

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Anon has a creative use for his pocket watch | /r/Greentext

No.860727197 5 minutes ago 1928373482.jpg JPG 89.5 KiB 1300x975 >be me >volunteer work in an office >got sent there by the welfare bucks people >people keep interrupting me with useless information >annoying >next day bring in a stopwatch >when someone walks up to me click start >make sure the time is visible to them as they are talking >create two spreadsheets >longest talker >most frequent talker >at the end of my two weeks i print them off for the boss of the office >few days later he emails me saying how thankful he is for my creative work >offers me a job to work there full time >reply telling him i'd rather kill myself than spend any more time around those people >he calls the police to check up on me for suicidal thoughts >police man and police lady turn up at my door >get my stopwatch out my pocket after they start talking >7 minutes for the man >21 minutes for the lady >decided not to email a spreadsheet to the police station

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Anon has a big brain moment | /r/Greentext

NEAT 1. #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc.... seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah yes, the greatest of the natural predators, the goblin.

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Greentext Stories - why_alachol_is_bad_Anon_2003-05-02.pptx | /r/Greentext

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> be me > in health class, have to make a powerpoint about why alcohol is bad 359 KB PNG > 12th grade so no one cares > presentation day comes along > no one has done any work > teacher opens up class file > one project > titled "alachol" > teacher walks out of room > mfw

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