anon is a minecraft cow | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: Cow minecraft png (21 KB, 210x233) Anonymous 10/21/18(Sun)17:33:12 No.782900746 >be me >baby >saw my father killed right in front of me >me and mother forced into a pen >be me >adult >forced to breed with mother >pic related >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon analyses James Bond | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/16(Wed)22:36:22 No.703956574 >"Shaken, not stirred" I got curious and wanted to know if there was an actual difference between shaking a martini and stirring it. 71 KB JPG I thought it wouldn't matter, since you're just mixing the ingredients, but apparently a study was conducted to determine if the preparation of a martini had any influence on its antioxidant capacity; the study found that shaken gin martinis were able to break down hydrogen peroxide and leave only 0.072% of the peroxide behind, while the stirred gin martini left behind 0.157% of the peroxide. Based on this information I have concluded that for James Bond to be able to detect a difference this small, he must be massively autistic.

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anon goes on a date | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/17/19(Sun)08:24:14 No.51022884 >on date with qt boy >we get indian food >he orders chicken korma with rice >"i can't eat rice, it reminds me of maggots" >"oh really, anon? that's... interesting" >"yeah, when i have rice in my mouth i just think of that video with the guy with maggot invested gums" 10 KB JPG >"i've never seen that" >show him the video >he excuses himself and goes to the bathroom >ten minutes later i ask a male waiter to check on him >"there's no one in the bathroom, miss" >mfw why do i always sabotage myself like this? why can't i just be normal?

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Anon wants to weaponize bees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/19/19(Fri)04:09:37 No.42077873 Hey /k/, I'm afraid of being targeted by the junkies and bangers that I have to ride the bus with; I want to start a micro-hive so I can defensive carry bees or wasps (pic related). Hear me out: 35 KB JPG >The longer I'ma bee keeper the more l'll get stung, and the greater resistance l'll develop to the sting's effects. I can probably find a pheromone spray to keep the bees on my side, too. >l'm a scrawny femme with no defensive training and a lot of neck injuries, so I can easily be overpowered, disarmed, or incapacitated. If any of that happens with conventional carry-choices I'm screwed. As long as I release the bees they'll continue to do God's work even if l'm unconscious or constrained. >Some people are thug lyfe enough to not be intimidated by being shot or stabbed. Nobody is thug lyfe enough to not be intimated by bees. Bees are mortally terrifying. >lf I pull a knife or gun then the crowd will instantly turn on me and yell at me to stop, because I can still be reasoned with. >lf I pull a jar of bees the crowd will turn on my aggressor because I can release the bees at any moment, and a swarm of angry bees cannot be reasoned with. >lf I pull a knife or gun then I have to deal with the legalities of doing so, and witness reports from the crowd could condemn me. >lf I pull a jar of bees the cops will disregard the call because it's too outlandish. What're your thoughts, /k/?

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The Reich stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)15:11:31 No.64733766 dskjflwje49riudspofiksdf.jpg 183 KB JPG >max average face >autistic hairstyle >autistic mustache >manlet >ruler of one of the most powerful nation in history and countless women adored him What is your excuse incels?

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Anon finds happiness within themself | /r/Greentext

File: b81.png (256 KB, 474x377) Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:40:54 No.859775897 >>859775963 be me, 21, 3 years ago >get diagnosed with severe depression >cry myself to sleep every night >social anxiety kicked in >become an incel /b/tard >parents stop talking to me and say i'm faking it >you know what, f--- you >start eating healthy >go to gym daily >lose weight >clean up my depression nest >social anxiety fading away, suddenly start striking up conversations with random people >find a job i love >one day, see 9/10 qt in gym >talk to her >gradually become really good friends >ask her out >she says yes >quit smoking for her >i love her, she loves me >ffw 3 years, today >parents look at me like a human being and not a degenerate incel >jacked af >gf still with me >find an apartment, propose to gf that she moves in with me >she says yes >really nice apartment >realize my friends are super toxic, bringing down any positivity coming from me >find another friend group >really nice people, same hobbies >slowly cut ties with all the people from the toxic group >girls look at me like the chad i am >feelsgoodman.jpeg it was hard, but i finally feel happy. thank you for the fun times, 4chan, i'm out. Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)07:43:16 No.859775963 File: 1626489610620.jpg (121 KB, 768x1024) >>859775897 (OP) Godspeed, retard.

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anon talks in the middle of a test | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)11:42:13 No.785674598 >be 12 >year 8 (Brit f--) >have extremely squeaky voice >in the middle of a test >class doing it with a new supply >talking to my friend >teacher hears and says if no one 104 KB JPG confesses everyone gets a detention >don't confess >only girls get detention because "she heard a girl talk" >mfw the room was silent except me >mfw wasn't sure how to feel about it

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Anon gets trolled by a bird | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous F------ birds 07/23/21(Fri)14:50:33 No.64679592 >Be me >Chilling on discord, messaging friends >Suddenly hear knocking on my window >Look to my right to see what's going on >Mfw a f------ bird has gotten 55 KB JPG into my room and is ramming itself into the window trying to get out >Panic like crazy and jump off from my seat and exit the room >Heart pumping hands shaking wondering w-- to do >Call mother to ask for help >Mother and grandfather arrive and go into my room >Nothing there. The f----- left on it's own >Tfw I got ridiculed by my family for nothing F--- you bird.

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A touch of evil | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21 (Tue)17:39:23 No.64735262 >get super /fit/ this past year >random women start grabbing my biceps >tell HR >get laughed at 41 KB JPG

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Anon goes to the airport | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/24/18(Sat)19:04:54 No.785729826 >be me >Amerifag >traveling home from thanksgiving >go to airport >get in line to check bags >line takes 45 minutes 139 KB PNG >wondering why line is so slow >get to front of line >one person working the front desk >she looks like she wants to kill herself >kysfag.jpg >go to security line >takes even longer >go through security >bag scanner starts beeping >it's my bag >get tackled by 500 lb Black women >pulls me aside for search through bag >"sir, you're not supposed to bring this through security. These items are very dangerous." >mfw she is holding a water bottle and a tube of toothpaste >end up missing my flight >mfw the flight I missed ended up being bombed by some guy who got a bomb through security

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Mother Cucker | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/26/21(Mon)18:01:59 No.64725217 >mfw only 4 girls in my entire life have shown interest in me >mfw every single one of those girls had a boyfriend >mfw a girl at work has recently started flirting really hard with me >at one point she literally told me she 1.18 MB GIF thought her and I would be perfect together >mfw she has a boyfriend What the actual f--- is happening here? why the f--- do I only attract women in relationships? Is the universe f------ with me?

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Knife through the heart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/21(Tue)14:39:51 No.64733493 >be horny so I go to /b/ because its 90% p--- >first thing I see is a woman being stabbed to death in her own bed Should've gone to reddit or pornhub. I've seen some s--- but the look on her face man. 92 KB JPG

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Anon’s in a sticky situation, what would you do? hhhee | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/20/21(Wed)20:17:27 No.845285789 >had sex on new year's night >condom broke >gf's ovulation day >her period is 5 days late >both still live with parents in college >gf says abortion is sin 39 KB JPG what do anons? 39 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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