The Fart Connoisseur makes dinner | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 06/29/21(Tue)12:14:42 No.857907810 >be me >the Fart Connoisseur >once tricked a lactose intolerant girl I was with into eating a 'dairy free' carbonara I made >f------ KEK >kept assuring her that it was fine to eat THE PR PART OF 23 KB JPG but I know she was onto me >ffw an hour and I can audibly hear her guts churning as the dairy reks her insides >can feel her anger towards me but I don't give a f--- >just want those farts >she excuses herself to the bathroom and I creep up to the door quietly >hear her immediately let one loose as she sits down to urinate >now I'm furious as I'm missing out on the good stuff >she comes out and we sit to watch a movie >grab a blanket and throw it over us >fartcocoon.flatulence >not long into the movie I hear the down under thunder >I say just let it out babe we're under the blanket >a few minutes go by and she shifts in her seat and cuts an impressive stink salute >I give it a few seconds then rip the blanket up and stick my head under >once the fragrance of poorly digested dairy and carbonara permeates my nostrils I can't control myself >it's like a potpourri of a--- Armageddon >l huff and sniff and get myself high on the fumes of her a------ >she's clearly shocked by my behaviour but I'm too addicted to care >explain to her that I f------ love farts >she gets a bit grossed out but l've perfected the art of smooth talking farts out of women >she relents and starts passing gas >l'm almost cooming because the stink is so good >she's very obviously weirded out but l'm a fiend on this stench >l eventually whip my c--- out and ask her to suck it >she leans over and gets down to business >she's sucking it hard and let's out another butthole banger and that's all it takes >l begin busting mega loads in her mouth after about a minute and a half >she swallows it and gets up >5 minutes later she says she needs to go home and leaves me with my d--- still out absolutely euphoric >such is the life of the FART CONNOISSEUR

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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