Anon has the Best. Sex. Ever | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous A pegger gets plugged 284 KB PNG 09/12/22(Mon)17:01:23 No.885525855 I had the best sex a while ago >be me >virgin >girl comes up to me >a solid 8.67/10 >"hey anon, I know you're a virgin still, mind if I change that" >cha-ching >"yes baby" >fast forward to her place >it's her and her 8 friends >wait for them to leave >they all stand up around me and pull their panties down >hell yes >each one of them fucksme >my c-- all in their vaginas >the girl who invited me was recording it also >uploads it to pornhub >250k views in under a month >sends it to my family, employers and friends >im cut off and disowned for being a "w----" >fired from job >currently homeless >today I learned I got genital warts from all of that >all of them got pregnant Best. Sex. Ever!!

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon summarizes the art industry experience | /r/Greentext

37m (9/13 21:21).112671165 16 Re - 0 Img.JPG · 234KB · (1000 × 867) 5 Replies more than any other artform, music is a business and an industry. it is the lowest form of art

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anon loses his job | /r/Greentext

File: d90.jpg (75 KB, 482x427) Anonymous 09/13/22(Tue)18:46:40 No.27303246 [Reply]► >>27303264 >tfw just lost job >tfw have a mortgage to pay >tfw no gf >tfw a week until my bday lol ☐ Anonymous 09/13/22(Tue)18:48:19 No.27303264 ► >>27303290 >>27303246 (OP) so get another job ☐ !!vycVWO6Sxwd 09/13/22(Tue)18:48:38 No.27303266 The no gf part is the least of your worries.

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anon's sexy time gets interrupted by a demon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/20/20(Sun)09:03:39 No.27095947 >>27093470 >boning my gf >doggystyle, she's loving it >my d--- is 7.5in easily >she achieves orgasm (as usual) when suddenly I feel like I'm being watched >pubes suddenly stand on end 5 KB JPG >gf doesn't notice, and I maintain my rhythmic thrusting, making her c-- again with my rock hard 8 incher >but something feels off >reach for my rechargeable Maglite RL1019 and scan the room >gf mumbles "what the f---" as waves of pleasure sweep through her body >a strange sulfuric smell fills the room, smells like the huevos rancheros and refried beans I had for breakfast >I turn around >there's a tall dark figure standing behind me >he wasn't there before >feels like he's feeding off of my virility, like a vampire >panic.jpg >l begin to thrust ferociously >gotta make my gf c-- one more time before dealing with the strange apparition/demon >as gf achieves orgasm (again, as usual), I pull out my solid 9 inch woody and blast my load all over the dark entity >I hear a hiss as the j--- hits his shadowy form and the spectre lets out a piercing cry >once more, the stench of sulfur fills the room >the floor is covered in c-- and a strange black-ish substance >gf asks, "did you f------ fart??" >I tell her it was the shadowman >somehow she didn't see him (paranormal) >"Oh my f------ god Josh did you s--- on the ground?" >it was the shadowman bitch >I swear to god

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Anon finds a cum truck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/14/22(Wed)09:58:36 No.174149884 ✓ cum_truck.jpg (32 KB, 959x480) google yandex iqdb wait >>174143813 >find c-- truck Spoon >truck looks like pic related >it says C U M on the side >think maybe it's an acronym, maybe it stands for 'C--? Umm...Maybe?' give it a taste >yepthatscum.mp4 >get idea >i will travel around this great nation and spread the gift of c-- >i will be like johnny appleseed but for c-- >go on twitter and tell guy fieri about my idea >also mention that i want to see him and bobby flay and giada de laurentiis covered in c-- >get muted from twitter for harassing guy fieri

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anon doesn't like what he sees | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 390 KB PNG 09/14/22(Wed) 22:13:25 No.885629160 There's p---------- on this board, and I don't like it. I don';t like it one bit. : Anonymous 09/14/22(Wed) 22:15:12 No.885629244 Easy fix. Just pour bleach into your eyes. You won't see p--- on this board again.

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Anon hasn't grown up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 129 KB JPG 07/26/22(Tue)18:45:27 No.69566652 >guys how do I stop giggling when I hear people fart >I'm 28

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Anon evaluates the human development | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How did it get like this 08/14/22(Sun)08:29:12 No.88385818 >dig in remote places >extract extremely rare rocks intel perform a forming spell on the rocks >extreme heat and pressure are required >inscribe microscopic arcane sigils into your magical stones 26 KB PNG >imbue the stones with lightning >the stones gain anima >the stones speak in a language incomprehensible to all mankind >certain trained warlocks can control the powers of the stones >they learn the language of the stones >the warlocks harness the magical stones powers to bring forth light and image >the rest of the population is in awe >you can now access Fortnite p--- anywhere you want from the palm of your hand

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Anon has friends | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/09/22(Fri)11:07:12 No.611513186 546653765.jpg 108 KB JPG >"Sorry bro, I won't be able to play with you tonight. I have a date with my gf"

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Anon smokes pot | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: Opz2DLvG) LIFTING F------ WORKS 310 KB PNG 09/13/22(Tue) 18:56:06 No.395241090 >be me >start lifting in august of last year >get a lot of dates >Wheat rated me a 5 before but now rates me a 7 >got visible abs >12% bf >today >go to japanese bar with tinder thot >Come back home >smoke pot and >as I coom yell "Alaskan Thunder F---" Why are you not lifting to save the white race pol? 63 Replies 5 Images View Thread

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Anon’s life as a bri’ish “person” | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How you guys sound 30 KB PNG v 09/13/22(Tue)17:14:19 No.885580903 >Be me >Awoken by knocker-up >He informs me of the mandatory Queen Elizabeth mourning >Take a stroll down littered street >Teen was tackled by guards for holding a redbull, they replace it with a c-- >Us peasants meet the royal family in a denny's parking lot >My mate David was assigned to polish Prince William's dome >Hear wanking inside the bush >David was sniped for not carrying enough knives >Guards arrest me for not sobbing hard enough >Told them to piss off and was challenged to a sword duel >I win the duel and King Charles pardons me >Leave the funeral, wagon was sold for Prince William's escort >Immediatly shanked for the shilling in my trousers >Pray for the lad, meth sales were cut short due to the Queen's passing >A -573.333° blizzard starts >Run to my house >See Prince Henry leaving with a wrench in hand >Electricity and water was turned off >See Duke of Dork taking a Dry Doodoo on my toilet >Those bellends ate all of my bread and beans >Begin to freeze and starve >At least there isn't any school shootings

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Anon is an artist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 147 KB PNG 09/14/22(Wed)12:50:50 No.70207644 >be me >an artist >good at art but s--- at promoting myself >the lack of attention and jealousy is slowly killing my passion for it >sadge >suddenly.jpg >an ai generated image wins some kinda art contest >other artists collectively lose their s--- >a lot become unmotivated to keep creating >lol >Imao even >this one lighting website starts trending a few days later >turns out it uses the art you feed it to build another algorithm for generating art >artists are malding about ai again >inspiration >spend hours feeding the ai with art from generic popular artists every day >look for other learning algorithms where i can do the same thing >hope all the boring uninspired art gets automated >the weak shall perish and the strong remain

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Anon gets roasted | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/30/22(Sat)08:11:57 No.877240939 >working at McDonald's >kid with his mom brings in orange and green toy gun >joke around with him "Oh are you a soilder?" >kid looks up at me >points toy at me "I'll kill you ugly man" >kids are absolute f------ assholes >salt the s--- of his fries and hamburger >enjoy that you little prick 17 KB JPG

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