Anon likes underwear | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>be masturbating >got not internets >using my mind for adventure >think about how I would f--- my step mom 40 KB PNG >I find her used underwear >put it in my mouth >start sucking on it and biting it >c-- >get cleaned >look at underwear >it was my dads >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon on the canal crisis | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: wj12aqLR ) We are f----- 03/25/21(Thu)14:58:09 No.313615150 >The entire world economy is allah commands you to move, ship! relying on some retard in a crane >May take WEEKS >Economy is already nosediving 393 KB PNG Giving the Suez to the Egyptians was a mistake.

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The only thing /fit/izens can't lift is their phone | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)13:53:37 No.60550609 >lift 5 times a week for 3 years >still get panic attacks from phone calls 5 KB JPG

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He could a been the champion of the world | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)21:09:10 No.62901665 >>62897044 (OP)# >be me >9 years old >think best friend stole my yugioh 40 KB JPG cards >he denies it >thats what a thief would say dot png >call his house on day >answer machine >uh uh bye >f--- >call again >uh mrs anon I think roboson stole my yugioh cards >hang up >feels good.mov >next day >call from Mrs anon >omg OP come round now and collect your cards Im so sorry >arrive feeling lower than Judas mixed with starscream >look at his cards >none of them are mine >oh s--- dot html >sorry mrs anon none of them are mine >lose best friend >kids make fun of me for being a taddle tail for like а year >still miss him sometimes Sorry bro

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choo choo :( | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:31:39 No.777406632 >you will never own a real train 207 KB JPG : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:34:04 No.777406758 yeah that is kind of sad. trains are cool. : Anonymous 08/17/18(Fri)16:40:18 No.777407058 248 KB JPG

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Anon finally discovers the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 49678806 43 mins ago .. >visit grandparents >walk by the kindergarten i attended 15 years ago >it says "for children with development delays" 32.6 kB PNG

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Anon's mom finds the protein condoms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)09:57:42 No.58869702 >tfw mom found the protein condoms 28 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)10:35:50 No.58870137 the what? 51 KB JPG >>58871699 # Anonymous 12/14/20(Mon)12:34:28 No.58871699 >>58870137 # mom thinks whey is drugs so my brother and i hide protein in the toilet water tank in condoms

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Anon takes the chillpill. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/25/21(Thu)15:33:14 No.3847782 >Be me >Last summer >Walk around just in shorts without a top all summer >Becomes normal to me , clothes feel weird 234 KB PNG >Summer ends , still no clothes, don't feel cold >Still walking around in shorts and a vest in Winter >Fully climatized, weather doesn't bother me >Continue in -10° weather, still don't get cold >Try to wear a coat once , felt like a sauna , felt like I was going to pass out >Neveragain.exe >Everyone thinks i'm some subzero superhuman >Take the ChillPill

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anon is a genius inventor | /r/Greentext

New type of Mene Stute Univesity SAD PEPE MD dr pepe fleshlight Anonymous 04/04/19 (Thu) 21:22:52 No.8788503 [Watch Thread] [Show All Posts] I mean if you really wanted something close to a living p---- I have suggestion. >acquire a cow or horse heart >I recommend cows >they are more readily available at butcher shops >Take a pair of jumper cables >attach them to the pulmenary artery and superior vena cavalry. >Apply salt to the surface and watch for the muscle contractions >now be sure the heart is fresh and/or has been stored in a cooler. >if not fresh you won't be able to get the muscles to contract >that ruins the whole experience. >get the battery pumping jolts through the muscles >gently insert your "shaft" into the inferior vena cava >feel the overwhelming ecstasy of pulsating, living organ you're penetrating. Just a suggestion.

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Anon is in Smash | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/30/18(Thu)21:02:32 No.429680034 >be me >18 year old >go to a comic convention >go to a cosplay competition >dressed as a doom fighter >next to me is a samus cosplayer 193 KB PNG >very hot so I take of my helmet >she takes off her helmet >9/10 >we have a conversation >she invites me to her home >sexytime.jpg >she plays a loop of f-zero music >have sex to it >clean up >mfw she says to me that she is 25 >mfw she said that her roommate should be here >mfw I hear someone fapping in the corner

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Anon doesn't care | /r/Greentext

ID: /yxYQ/7w No.313465944 42 minutes ago 234354454534.jpg JPG 20.0 KiB 474x407 United States >HE'S A WHITE CHUD >HE'S A MUSLIM LEFTIE >NO HE WASN'T >YES HE WAS Aren't we forgetting that 10 people were killed? Isn't that more important? 15 replies ID: bSVFiNfq No.313466238 38 minutes ago 1612035221364.jpg JPG 47.4 KiB 1280x720 Confederate >>313465944 (OP) >Isn't that more important? No. ...

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Private Enemy #1 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/23/21(Tue)21:01:57 No.62886417 >wake up at 0500 hours >roll onto side, open thinkpad T530 >open /ck/ >post "not my problem" oil in drain thread 2 KB JPG >open /tv/ >post sneed's (formerly chucks) thread >open /fit/ >start nieceposting >open /gif/ >post 12 BBC trap boy p---- threads >open /biz/ >post pooh shiesty and spotemgottem (need it or keep it) >banned by 0515 >restart router >recalibrate IP >reengage the jannies

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Anon has a side project | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/24/21(Wed)19:46:32 No.850412728 >read story about ancient Shigir Idol >idea.mp3 >Go to Home Depot, get 2x4s, 5 buckets of plaster >build frame, fill it wet plaster >take off clothes lay face down in plaster >make imprint of naked body >use carved firewood log to make penis imprint 5x larger >let plaster cast dry >bury it in backyard >mfw 15,000 years later future archeologists will discovery my body and think all ancient humans had giant d----.

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