Anon experiences "American Freedom" | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 08/01/12(Wed)08:16 No.23795638 File: 1343823371325.jpg-(81 KB, 360x360, 1329732873924.jpg) >>23795414 >be australian >hear from 4chan about american freedom >decide to experience it for myself >fly to states >arrive at JFK airport >get a strip search, x-ray and MRI scan to make GREATEAT HITA sure I'm "not a terrorist" >finally escape from airport >arrive at the statue of liberty to collect my freedom >get shot by seven men >crawl to the nearest hospital, bleeding >hospital will treat me but it costs 3 million USD >try to tell them about our superior free health care >get arrested for "threatening national security" >get sent to guantanamo bay >Obama sends drone strikes to Grom Grom to kill my family >mfw

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hates his brother | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >Be me yesterday >Mom and Dad ask how to check history in big bro's laptop >Perfect to take revenge >Open it for them but it's empty >ldea.jpg >Ask them to check cookies and search for xxx sites >Get about 10 sites >Parents angru and me happy >mfw when they ask for my laptop >mfw when I realise that I never delete cookies >Mfw when l've got pages of undeleted cookies >mfw when we both get shout at >mfw karma How bad did I f--- this up

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In a human grocery store | /r/Greentext

Anonymous E 02/15/21(Mon)06:07:05 No.139581423 >>139581506 >>139581614 >>139581725 >>139581822 >>139582044 >>139583235 >be in the grocery store >suddenly think of a funny thing >start smiling uncontrollably >realize that you are in public where people can see you and you're making a fool of yourself >try to forcibly curb the smile causing kind of a civil war in your face muscles Does this happen in your culture? O Anonymous + 02/15/21(Mon)06:08:49 No.139581506 >>139581423 (OP) # I saw you do this Embarassing

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Anon buys new clothes and gets called a loser | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 45243472 >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" 42,2 kB JPG >... >He's technically right >l am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES O IMAGES REPLY Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man

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Anon likes 4chan | /r/Greentext

Today at 9:07 PM ik i went for a jogg it was nice whatr u doing for valentines day? Today at 9:19 PM uhhhhh hanging out on 4chan Imao i relate to them i guess >f--- f--- f--- >he doesn't like edgy egirls >how do i fix this he's ignoring me 7h (2/15 5:37) · 62334917 >>62334907 (OP) nothing but bad things can come from telling people you use 4channel

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No one wants to hear Anon's story | /r/Greentext

wonder >be me >find 4chan >want to post irl story >scroll through posts about c-- shorts >scroll by a g--------- >wonder if anyone will give a s--- about a lucid dream story

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Anon discusses Aragorn | /r/Greentext

63 Re · 13 Img JPG 42KB (540 × 540) 19 Replies >rusted, chipped p------------ sword, probably been rusting in the caverns for three decades >"this is a good sword" Was Aragorn the first autistic king?

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21 (Mon)04:18:04 No.847437816 >be me ap Discover something new Sporeored >zerkin off >reading some hentai >see the 2 characters hug eachother >"damn" 77 KB JPG >"...damn.." >think about hugging someone >really want hug someone >think about how nice it would feel >havent hugged someone legitimately in like 8 years I wish i had a girlfriend

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Anon has a bad Valentine's day | /r/Greentext

>bf met up with me just to dump me, on Valentine's day >after I spent three hours making chocolates for him >just gave him them and cried at home 2h (2/15 10:29) · 62337988 I almost felt sorry for but then I remembered that you're not actually a cute anime girl 2h (2/15 10:32) · 62338012 >>62337970 (OP) Why did you give him the chocolate? Should have just poured it all over him or give it to me

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Anon has a police women fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"

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Anon builds a paper towel rocket | /r/Greentext

File: nostalgic pepe.jpg (18 KB, 500x300) O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:10:49 No.847420228 >be me >be in science class 8th grade >teacher has a paper towel building competition >me and friends work together to build tower >only 2 designs worked so far, another group and my group >everyone in class copies other group >my group realizes that our tower looks like rocket >we write space x on the side and long live elon musk >teacher says it is time to clean up >we give it a proper space x launch and throw it on the floor >wish i could be happy like i was then

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Anon solved the problem | /r/Greentext

Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. I'll go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided

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Windows crashes for Anon | /r/Greentext

>be me >windows crashes >browser session with 500 tabs didn't open up >realize that by opening the browser i just deleted last session >run recovery software >the session was overwritten by windows defender even though it's turned off by group policy

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