Anon likes 4chan | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Today at 9:07 PM ik i went for a jogg it was nice whatr u doing for valentines day? Today at 9:19 PM uhhhhh hanging out on 4chan Imao i relate to them i guess >f--- f--- f--- >he doesn't like edgy egirls >how do i fix this he's ignoring me 7h (2/15 5:37) · 62334917 >>62334907 (OP) nothing but bad things can come from telling people you use 4channel

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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No one wants to hear Anon's story | /r/Greentext

wonder >be me >find 4chan >want to post irl story >scroll through posts about c-- shorts >scroll by a g--------- >wonder if anyone will give a s--- about a lucid dream story

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Anon discusses Aragorn | /r/Greentext

63 Re · 13 Img JPG 42KB (540 × 540) 19 Replies >rusted, chipped p------------ sword, probably been rusting in the caverns for three decades >"this is a good sword" Was Aragorn the first autistic king?

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Anon wants a girlfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21 (Mon)04:18:04 No.847437816 >be me ap Discover something new Sporeored >zerkin off >reading some hentai >see the 2 characters hug eachother >"damn" 77 KB JPG >"...damn.." >think about hugging someone >really want hug someone >think about how nice it would feel >havent hugged someone legitimately in like 8 years I wish i had a girlfriend

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Anon has a bad Valentine's day | /r/Greentext

>bf met up with me just to dump me, on Valentine's day >after I spent three hours making chocolates for him >just gave him them and cried at home 2h (2/15 10:29) · 62337988 I almost felt sorry for but then I remembered that you're not actually a cute anime girl 2h (2/15 10:32) · 62338012 >>62337970 (OP) Why did you give him the chocolate? Should have just poured it all over him or give it to me

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Anon has a police women fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)12:05:27 No.847435416 DSC_049.png 603 KB PNG >told this girl i had a fetish for police woman >i am black >she sent me this with the caption >"POV i am standing on your neck"

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Anon builds a paper towel rocket | /r/Greentext

File: nostalgic pepe.jpg (18 KB, 500x300) O Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)01:10:49 No.847420228 >be me >be in science class 8th grade >teacher has a paper towel building competition >me and friends work together to build tower >only 2 designs worked so far, another group and my group >everyone in class copies other group >my group realizes that our tower looks like rocket >we write space x on the side and long live elon musk >teacher says it is time to clean up >we give it a proper space x launch and throw it on the floor >wish i could be happy like i was then

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Anon solved the problem | /r/Greentext

Share the most retarded thing you've ever done. I'll go first. >be me 138 KB PNG >23 days ago >driving drunk as f---, run a red light, ram into a f------ cop car at 20 mph >cars are not too damaged >drunk mind is scared as s--- >unable to think of a reason, stab myself with my pocket knife before the cop comes over >hide knife in glove box >say, "I had been stabbed officer" >cop gives me a ride to the nearest hospital mfw crisis avoided

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Windows crashes for Anon | /r/Greentext

>be me >windows crashes >browser session with 500 tabs didn't open up >realize that by opening the browser i just deleted last session >run recovery software >the session was overwritten by windows defender even though it's turned off by group policy

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Anon wants you to move to Tennessee real bad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (r7080M/) = You are NOT welcome in Tenness(...) 02/14/21(Sun)18:11:45 No.308125779 Jennessee 1606368708681.jpg 770 KB JPG F--- off, we're full. Stop coming here. You are not welcome here. Your family is not welcome here. Your friends are not welcome here. No, I don't want to hear how you vote red and like conservatism. I don't care that you find it inexpensive to live here. I don't care that you like not having to deal with snow or road salt eating your car. I don't care how you are looking forward to not paying state income tax. F--- you. Every single one of you f---- is a lukewarm cuckservative or lolbertarian who will act against the interests of native Tennesseans every chance you get and you will drive up the housing prices 10% yearly without fail. And every single one of you will bitch about the humidity every chance you get. So l'll say it again: f--- off, we're full. You wouldn't like it here anyway. Wages are low, as in all flyovers. There is nothing here, and absolutely nothing ever happens here. So keep this in mind when deciding on a state to move to to pollute with your filth: F--- OFF, we're FULL. 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon is a NEET | /r/Greentext

File: naughtyneet.jpg (216 KB, 819x912) /b/ Anonymous 02/14/21(Sun)18:49:19 No.847377955 [Reply] >be me >be 26 >be NEET >wake up at 7pm >mummy has made dinner >it's vegetables >i hate vegetables >refuse to eat it >"well, you're going to go without dinner tonight, anon" >she thinks she's won >go back to my room >hold myself over for a few hours on mountain dew >wait till mummy is asleep >start screaming "I WANT FOOD I WANT FOOD" as loud as I can >mummy wakes up and stumbles to my door >"anon what are you doing?!? It's midnight!" >walk up real close to my door and stop screaming >"anon, are you ok?" >mummy opens the door >me standing right there >scream "I WANT FOOD!" two inches from her face >she falls backwards into the hall >keep screaming "I WANT FOOD" as I head to the kitchen >start taking food items from the fridge and throw them all over floor >throw gallon of milk onto the ground and it explodes >mummy is pleading with me to stop >"ONLY IF YOU GET ME TENDIES AND TACOS!" >"GET ME TACOS AND TENDIES NOW. I WANT THEM NOW!" >mummy crying >"Why do you do this, anon?!? WHY?!" >mfw I see her getting her car keys >mfw she comes home with hot, greasy tacos and a double serving of Jack in the Box tendies >mfw she'll never get rid of her little boy!

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Anon gets a massage | /r/Greentext

welcome asian massage O Valentine's Day story Anonymous 02/15/21(Mon)02:52:20 No.62337106 >>623 >be me, 22 year old beta fat f---, just barely graduated from local uni, virgin >maybe a total of 10 tinder matches through all of university, went nowhere >started going to the gym, trying to make myself look better >sore as f---, see a massage place on my way back from work >"f--- it why not" >go inside, chinese receptionist in her 30s, massive t---, broken english >"welcome asian massage, what you want?" >shows no menu or anything >"uhhh, a normal massage is fine" >asks for 40 bucks for a 30 minutes >leads me to a po0orly lit room with a small table bed >"ok take clothes off" and leaves the room >i get naked and lie on the table, it squeaks >she comes back in, covers my ass with a towel, does the massage >after flipping and finishing the front, she starts rubbing my crotch >w-- >is this going where i think it's going? >thought the massage parlor s--- was myth >she sees i'm enjoying it >"hand is 30, kiss is 55, full is 100" >"full?" >"you know, fucky fucky" >almost burst out laughing >get my wallet, hand her 100 >she strips, we start f------ >i'm hard as f---, but haven't c-- yet >mfw it's been almost 10 mins, yet when i j------- i c-- in under a min >finally c--, she cleans me up, we dress, tells me her name, and I leave home satisfied got laid on valentines and no longer an incel, what did you do?

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Anon passes university | /r/Greentext

alright so something great happened to me today. I'll put it in the form of a greentext for you retards out here. >be me in early 2020 >grades in school go up after going to a library in a university after years of being a retard in school and fighting depression. >feelsgoodman.jpeg >covid happens and all non essential businesses close to the public >library at uni closes >online school and no library make my grades go back down >all my hopes from when i had good grades are gone. >thebigsad.mp3 >fast forward to today >grades still s--- >decide to go to the university to since it's nearby from an errand i had to take care of >library is open >could this be? will I not fail my school year? thank god i finally have a place to study in peace and alone

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