whoops, common mistake | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 03/24/13(Sun)19:45:21 No.6215899 >eating sandwich at the beach >skipping stones >watching the sunset and thinking about life >throw sandwich into ocean >bite rock People saw.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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/bant/ anon talks to a gril for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: HXAUvCdu 02/10/21(Wed)14:18:32 No.12109499 >spoke to female >she didn't instantly become my gf after talking to me once what the hell 3 KB PNG

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Anon goes to Kmart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:05 No.846980973 >be me LOSING >2014 or so, mid 20's >driving to meat shop in nearby city for specific cut of meat 152 KB JPG >see a f------ honest to god Kmart >knock knock it's 1995 bitch > immediately pull in >maybe 4 cars there >go in >that smell hits me instantly, a smell I can't describe and this sounds crazy but it smelled like before 9/11 if that makes sense >browse every aisle >they have new things, but also old ones >electronic department, signage advertising game boy colors and Nintendo 64's >had accessories for both, but no consoles left >a few new TVs but also some old tv/vcr combos >I can't describe how surreal this was, it was like a fever dream >felt like it was the mid 90's again >l mean even the air, the way time flowed, I can't explain it Cont : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:47:52 No.846981038 >I s--- you not as I browsed ancient garden supplies they played "everybody walk the dinosaur" >genuinely think I might have been in another dimension >buy some body wash >cashier rings me up >receipt prints in this super old printer >makes that old wirrrrrrrr noise >pos was on fat, old school monitor >leave and feel weird rest of day >go back a month later >store was closed

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Anon encounters Muslims on a plane | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he 120 KB JPG says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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Life is a useless passion | /r/Greentext

U Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)19:17:28 No.62270789 File: 1599948256146.png (17 KB, 172x152) >grinding mining on oldschool runescape >suddenly ask myself what's the whole point of it anyway >remember there's no point to life at all >keep grinding

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Anon learned the secret technic by accident. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)10:08:52 No.846838629 >>846839467 So ever since I was a kid, I used to do these dance moves/hand gestures in oddly specific locations e.g. corner of cafeteria, in toilet stall etc. thinking I would cast a spell to break out of the "simulation" >be me >4th grade >at school >walking back from recess to class >lean against railing of staircase 2nd floor 5th step >do an egyptian dance with head movements and everything >janitor at base of staircase drops dead from heart attack >panic >do it again a year later to test theory, ending some kid this time No one will ever believe me and call me schizo but if you do it at my old school on that location with a specific egyptian dance you can just kill people.

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Anon doesn't know what to do | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous i am a good person 06/10/19(Mon)21:52:18 No.52849891 >parents out for a week on vacation >17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping 139 KB JPG >l could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag : Anonymous 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead 90 KB JPG >>52849935 #

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Anon is angry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)21:44:44 No.847033048 >be me >angry at the world >say that all women are sluts >"your mom and sister are sluts as well than" >don't have a rebuttal because they were sluts >got bullied in high school 31 KB JPG because my mom flirted with classmates

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Anon destroys a tiktocker. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)08:54:34 No.62246885 >be blackbot >regularly browse tiktok for qts >find qt black weeb girl >see thread calling black girls ugly on /r9k/ >convert one of her videos to webm and 110 KB WEBM use it to respond >see webm reposted a few days later >go to view one of her tiktok videos today >deleted >"maybe she redid the video" >go to her account >not found >"maybe she changed her name" >search her username on google >links to twitter >multiple black cosplay girls complaining that she was run off of tiktok by racists >conveniently happens shortly after I posted her in a thread full of racists This is my fault, isn't it? : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)08:57:43 No.62246912 >>62246885 (OP) # She looked like an asian girl cosplaying as sailormoon but with perfect blackface - it was pretty f------ funny. I'm not sure if it would have gotten traction without you. Probably not. >>62247031 # : Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)09:04:22 No.62246970 >>62246885 (OP) # So let me get this straight. You posted a girls social media on here and when she got harrased you are wondering if it's your fault? Yeah you f----- up.

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Anon is fat | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:29:11 No.47665686 074e7c5b-329e-49d7-b555-91929a374b37.jpg 57 KB JPG >be me >Watching Netflix health documentary >"haha fat people" >They're filming fatties in the street >"hey, I have that shirt" >"hey, I have those cargo shorts" >"hey, I know that building" %3D >mfw 1 Reply View Thread : Anonymous 08/22/18(Wed)01:31:06 No.47665705 so dont be fat you fat idiot

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anon suffers in the kitchen | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/10/21(Wed)08:17:14 No.15558033 File: 1583514093328.jpg (60 KB, 1024x1024) >mfw my housemate does s--- like chop all of her ingredients on a plate because she doesn't like cleaning the cutting board >knives are dull as s--- and won't let me sharpen them because she's scared of using sharp knives >I have one chefs knife I keep razor sharp and she refuses to touch it >regularly puts water on to boil and walks away until the water is all boiled off and has to try again >every nonstick pan in the house is ruined by metal implements >leaves meat out for 24+h sometimes to thaw, just lets it sit around at room temp for hours >got mad at me for having "too many blenders" >she was including my food processor and stand mixer in the list of "blenders" >one of her favorite dishes is potato "soup" which is just potato pieces boiled in milk I wish I was f------ kidding.

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/21(Sun)04:14:18 No.539902185 In 165 million years of dinosaurs, how many small creatures do you reckon were killed by dino c--? I mean we must be talking barrels of c--. There must have been a few drownings. 628 KB JPG >>539907048 # >>539922509 # >>539924249 # >>539928113 # >>539933161 #

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Save yourself | /r/Greentext

File: 3AB7FDBE-DCBE-47A9-87B0-8B32D93D76D3.jpg (41 KB, 594x396) O Itvl Anto Chigurh taught me how to work in retail Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)05:55:09 No.146315460 [Reply] This is my first greentext so my bad if i f--- up but here i go >be me >six months with no job and stuck in the house because of pandemic >finally get hired at retail store >first retail job >because of isolation i've become socially inept and get easily nervous >i even have a f------ stutter and i talk at a low volume. >lack of physical activity and masks dont help >terrible first week. nervous wreck and all over the place. >first day off >decide to rewatch no country for old men > get to the gas station scene > the first time i find it admirable how anton dominates the conversation even though he's obviously crazy >Go to work next day >Get first difficult customer >After a little back and forth i remembered anton >what would Anton do? > i lock eyes and raise my voice > even mimic how he talks > let the customer complain on and ramble > when its my turn to speak i just say something about company policy and repeat the same thing >i kept a straight face the entire time and didnt break eye contact >eventually the customer started to get tired and left >for the rest of the day i just think what would anton do. >decide to do this for the rest of the week and even call someone "Friend-o" at least once >also decided to join a gym and get a posture corrector >just want to be like anton >been two months now and i look better and stand straight >More confident because of anton >lm naturally able to act like anton >i even started drinking milk >most coworkers think im weird but theres one weird chick that seems into me >all because of anton >thank you anton

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