Anon drives | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

le: 1388544365742.jpg (389 KB, 1000x1000) Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)23:24:37 No.146251787 >>146251876 >>14625 > watch Drive with a friend > he calls me one day to pick him up and drive him somewhere > while getting ready, I put on a cool jacket and quickly download the OST from Drive >I go up to his place > he is waiting, with two girls, one of whom I remember back in high school, but who never spoke to me >I greet them with a slight nod, but do not say a word when entering > a friend smiles, doesn't laugh so as not to pan my thing > the high school girl sits in the passenger seat; I always had a crush on her > she starts talking to me >I always take five seconds before answering his questions as quickly as possible > on pendant rolls silently as the OST plays That Feet > the next day my friend said the girl talked a lot about me > "Really? What did she say?" > my friend does not answer because he does not exist >I have no friends > there were no girls > I look at the ceiling of my room

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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I wasted some of my limited time on earth reading this | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)15:04:33 No.846889093 >be me >invite a dude over for sex >we both are doing this for first time >he's older and closeted >pphard.jpg >ask him if he's comfortable 459 KB JPG >he says yes so I slip it in >he moans >gettinghotinhere.mp3 >he moans something quiet so I stop and ask what he said >consent is important I said “hit it like a child" >immediately go soft >tell him l'm just nervous >he leaves >go to bathroom and furiously whack it

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Just wasn't Space Force material | /r/Greentext

File: bigsad.jpg (17 KB, 320x212) O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)14:50:19 No.846888042 [Reply] I just had to send my son off into the marines he's mentally retarded and will probably die right away or kill the wrong people lol kid is such a f----- please respond and wish my retarded son luck by saying "Oorah!" and some kind words O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)14:51:37 No.846888140 He'll be fine, he sounds exactly like the average Marine.

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/fit/izen doing what he loves most. | /r/Greentext

File: images (53).jpg (8 KB, 226x223) O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:23:55 No.59757739 >>59757772 Started training legs late last year more >girl over watching movie on the couch >she mires my arms and chest >sits on top and kisses me >wraps legs around waist and I go to get up and carry to double couch >similar to a 55kg box squat? >sit down on couch again and then stand up again while keeping tension in my quads >repeat 3 times while she's kissing so doesn't really notice >just did one set of x4 box squats >idea.png >stand up and carry her across house to bedroom in similar to lunge motion >mfw i did a leg workout when I was supposed to have sex >l was so happy guys, I finally started to feel good about my legs recently and this topped it off Super stoked and went to the gym the next day in my short shorts and hit legs Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:26:41 No.59757772 >>59757832 >>59757849 >>59757739 (OP) Based. What do you do for legs mate >> Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)18:31:04 No.59757832 >>59757875 >>59757772 He squats thots

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Anon decides to fap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/13(Sat)00:55 No.16442287 Replies: >>16442341 >>16442343 >>16442433 >>16442460 >>16442510 >listening to music >cleaning up my man cave >gf says she is going to the store >decide it's time for a fap >wait a few minutes after she left >strip naked because that's how I do >searching for that perfect fap video >getting close hear the door open and shut >shut my computer down but keep fapping hoping gf will come down and finish me off >decide I am going to surprise her and j--- the second she walks in (seemed better at the time) >hear someone walking down the stairs >decide to stand for this >as the door opens shoot my load all over some dude in a ski mask >l literally fall back stunned and reach for my gun >he is yelling w-- >hold him at gunpoint until the cops come >cop asks what is all over the guys shirt and pants >explain and give my statement >l can still hear them laughing...

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Femanon just needs help | /r/Greentext

File: F836349E-5FEC-412A-BF83-B(...).jpg (31 KB, 828x745) O Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)16:31:47 No.846934026 ► >>8 >>846934264 >>846934298 >>846934359 >>846934388 >>846934390 >>846 >>846935763 >>846935766 >>846935778 >>846935897 >>846936344 >>846 >>846940211 >>846940430 >>846940459 >>846940874 >>846941020 >>846 >>846945954 >>846946985 >>846947441 >>846947727 >be me >girl >have a s----- life >post about it on 4chan looking for some kind of help >mention l'm a girl on post >get virtually r---- by neckbeards

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Silence not violence | /r/Greentext

: Anonymóuš 02/0 |(Sun)18:51:53 Nó.146252871 >cook some tasty food >crack open a cold beer >turn on some kino >primed for optimum kino viewing experience >start watching kino 150 KB JPG >neighbours dog starts barking >car alarm goes off >birds chirping loudly >people having loud conversation outside window >plane flies overhead 2 Replies / 2 Images View Thread : Anonymous 02/07/21(Sun)18:54:03 No.146252960 >mom starts vacuuming 112 KB PNG

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Anon is not even German | /r/Greentext

B7ykhpZCMAlmkPR[1].jpg (67 KB, 600x436) google igdb wait I Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:46:51 No.30903012 v >>30903052 >>30903058 >>30903079 >>30903110 >>30903151 >>30903168 >>30903205 >>30903248 >>30903317 >>30903518 >>30903524 >>30903537 >>30903653 >>30903688 >>30904260 >>30904268 >>30904343 >>30904353 >>30904581 >>30905773 >>30906176 >>30906196 >>30906211 >>30906252 >>30906715 >>30909832 >>30910199 A fairy appears and says you can have any single gun in the world for free. You cannot sell the gun or trade it, you must keep it. If your country has any firearm laws preventing it, they make an exception for you. What do you choose and why? E I Anonymous 08/07/16(Sun)09:50:15 No.30903048 v Orban cannon. 69dabf1f04ed54034f5cf8552(.).pa (55 KB, 736x489) google igdb wait IAnonymous 08/07/16(Sun)10:42:34 No.30903561 v >>30903650 >30910185 EU says goodbye.jpg (79 KB, 500x319) google igdb wait If the wish includes unlimited ammo, pic related. DORA and i dont need to explain why >>30904806 >>30903650 >>30903561 >be anon >magical fairy shows up >says I can have any gun I want >evil grin spreads across my face >ICH VIL HAB DER SCHWERER GUSTAV, BITTE >I'm not even german >fairy rolls its eyes and flicks wand >marvel of german engineering appears in my back yard >and also my neighbour gary's yard >f--- you gary, I dare you to say something about this >f------ gary Anyway >I start wondering what to shoot it at >suddenly it comes to me >all those f------ years >all that lunch money >all the wedgies and swirlies >every single moment comes rushing back >Chad >manage to ignore my endless, thundering erection long enough to have a rough idea of how to load it >don't have a crane, though >buy a couple floor jacks, eventually figure out a way to make it work >still gunna have to muscle it around >spend the next 10 days getting it ready to fire >have to take breaks to masturbate to how awesome this thing is >finally get it ready to fire >only took 2 hernias and a torn ligament >its aimed at chad's house >and his stupid f------ truck >f--- you chad >I know this is gunna be loud >really loud >double up on the earpro because I'm a f------ gear queer >dressed up in my German ww2 repro gear for the occasion >make last minute checks >FEUER!! >fire >the entire neighbourhood shakes >every window shattered >every car alarm going off >I'm pretty sure that crack den down the street just exploded to0 >this is going to be on the f------ richter scale >looking in the general direction of chad's house >see a flash and black smoke on the edge of the horizon >several seconds later, sounds like a thunder clap >l can hear sirens >they don't even know where to go >people 5 miles away reported a gunshot >people 3 miles away reported an explosion >people near Chad are all f------ dead >l levelled his entire neighbourhood though >cops were scared it was nuclear >Turns out chad was at work >prepare for the next shot >f------ chad

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Anon is chaotic evil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/03/11(Mon)03:18 No.82949026 File :1294042721340.jpg-(29 KB, 303x293, 1293692004334.jpg) >go to friends house >he has a humidifier >pour two liter of rootbeer into it >leave

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Anon gets drunk with his gf | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)06:44:33 No.62231753 >>62230411 # >manage to get a gf at 23 >move in together >things are really looking good for me >two years go by >seriously think of marrying this girl in the near future "screaming begins agnin 57 KB JPG >one day get drunk at home with her >she says she's been f------ her coworker who she introduced me to and who i thought of as a decent enough guy >figure she's just drunk and making stuff up >go through her phone just in case >mfw she's been sexting and exchanging nudes with him for about 10 months >leave the apartment while she's ranting about how good at bed her coworker is >she's moves in with him a month after Anyway, that's how i came back here, i don't think i'll be leaving again soon...

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Anon gets a credit card | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Who else here beat the system? 01/04/21(Mon)20:48:58 No.61714257 >be me 0000 >turn 18 last summer 023 19 >start getting credit card offers in the mail >get every card I possibly can, Visa, AmEx, all the big ones >get cards for specific gas station 73 KB JPG chains, stores, phone providers, all that >end up with about 15 cards total, max them all out >recent purchases include a PS5 and a new TV >have about $25k in debt across all the cards >don't pay any monthly bills >get late notices, tons of fees added on, debt just grows and grows without me even spending anymore >seems like a big deal accept for one small detail >notice all the cards have an expiration date >just have to wait it out until they expire, then the debt evaporates and it's like it never happened >sorry visa, I was just playing the game you created

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Mr beast wrapped shitpost | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)16:03:07 No.846893573 >be Elon Musk >my Tesla roadster plan is a success >it is on course to activate my Jupiter death ray >hop on my custom Mr. Beast wrapped Tesla-rocket 136 KB JPG >shoot all the way to Jupiter >the stars taste like success >arrive at Jupiter >get f------ obliterated by acid rain

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Anon is the chosen one. | /r/Greentext

2h (2/9 1:08) · 846893932 >>846885512 (OP) >Mom died right when I was born. >Grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed beforeI was born. >Growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. >Be 17 or 18 at the time. >Notice that my sister is a hottie. >Accidentally found a video that she made of herself. >l thought she was so beautiful that I watched it twice or more. >Would have watched it a lot more, but crazy s--- went down and I had to leave home, typical. >At this point, totally lusting after my sister. >She was also having bad trouble with the law. >She was actually in custody when I left home. >Friend and I go to pick her up. >I have unnatural feelings for her; I think she has them too. >She kissed me when we picked her up from jail. >Definitely WAS NOT a sisterly kiss. >Friend told me he wants to get with my sister. >Jealous.jpg >Not much happened between me and my sister for a while. >Serious sexual tension between my friend, myself, and sister. >I get hurt badly and almost die. >While in recover, sister gives me another not sisterly kiss and neck rub. >We spend some time apart. >l got really religious, try not to think of her that way anymore. >l was totally over her. >We go sailing a year later (nothing romantic happens). >She's in the hottest bikini ever. >All those feelings come back. >She ends up with my friend from before. >After all this, we were at a party. >Sister and were outside alone. >Kill the mood by telling her that Darth Vader is our father and I have to go face him.

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