Anon tastes c--. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)23:19:42 No.846874457 i tasted my own c--, it was salty and i gaged do girls really like this stuff? 41 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon takes experimental drugs | /r/Greentext

>be khhv neet >apply to be part of drug trial for some extra money >goes well in the beginning but after a couple of weeks start shrinking >researchers find out it's some genetic defect and nobody else in the trial shrinks >end up staying in research lab in a lab rat cage for further testing >researcher from different division stumbles upon you and thinks you're adorable >she drops by every lunch break and gives you food and picks you out of the cage and plays with you >slowly befriend her over the span of a few weeks >convince her to ask the higher ups if you can stay with her >they agree >you're full on dating at this point and you've picked up a hobby of painting figurines >it's pretty easy since they're basically the same size as you or bigger >eventually the experiments on you end and you move in with her full time >non-disclosure agreement ends and pictures of you leak online >suddenly overnight celebrity >start streaming painting figurines >gf is easily able to quit her job due to all the donations >tfw you're the breadwinner even though you're tiny

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Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I got a new roommate 01/28/21(Thu)22:04:59 No.62077295 >be me, a few minutes ago >hear knocking coming from my door >open the door >be met with the eerie stillness of the night >mfw I probably let a ghost enter 105 KB JPG my room just now

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Grave digger | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/29/21(Fri)16:28:00 No.305665585 File: 1fe.png (59 KB, 658x662) >>305663403 >be me >9 years old >elementary school >20 min drive from Columbine in CO >Columbine happens >everyone freaking out all the time >leave my backpack in hallway >get pulled into principals office >"Whats this anon?" >Principal pulls out plastic sandbox shovel with rounded edges >"A toy shovel" >"It's a weapon, isn't it anon?" >"What, no, it's a toy" >"Yeah but someone might think it's a weapon" >"What how" >Principal holds up toy shovel in the air >"What if you held it up like this and threatened someone from across the playground? Wouldn't it seem like a weapon then?" >mfw true story.

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Anon is fucked | /r/Greentext

>Start studying for an exam I have in two weeks >Can't concentrate hard enough >After two hours I give up and stop studying >Try to do something else as can literally feel my brain burning for all the things I have to study in just two weeks >Try opening a game >Get stuck in the main menu as I tell myself I should study for the exam >At the same time just remembering how much I have to study makes me feel anxious and I do not want to study anymore >Get stuck in this loop of "I should study but I do not want to study" >Do nothing for the next five hours and the anxiety just rises up even more Why am I like this?

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Anon is under 6'0 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/06/21(Sat)13:03:11 No.62205732 >wake up >5'10 still 31 KB JPG

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Anon loves Robocop | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/19/19(Mon)12:28:07 No.807496699 Feeling cute. Might maul the neighbor's child later. IDK > Be me, 21 year old virgin, early 1990's > Mom's friend's daughter comes to stay with us while see is looking for work > 19 yo qt with long black hair > We spent a lot of time together as I had to drive her around 65 KB JPG > One day we are alone at home > We are watching videos, Robocop > She stops the movie and says she has something to show me > Puts in another video, smiles and press play > P----. Never seen a p---- before, don't know why she is showing me this > Tell her to put Robocop on again > Watch Robocop in silence > Awesome movie View Thread

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Anon gets a phone book | /r/Greentext

most retarded moments thread ? > be me > be 11 > in car with family heading home from county fair 100 KB JPG > dad wants dinner > mom hands me the phone book and tells me to look up the number for the place dad wanted so she could check the wait > for whatever f------ reason I hear "get rid of this" > roll down the window and chunk the phone book as we're going 80 on the interstate

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Anon meets a woman | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)19:40:17 No.846875874 >be me, 25, bored on a friday so l go to a bar as one does >a quite passable woman walks up to me, starts to jokingly make fun of my old beat up leather jacket >s---, never been negged before >end up talking more, she's legit smart and interesting, we've got a lot of mutual interests >she mentions she has a son, he's 7 >l do some quick math, f--- she had a kid at 19 >he's on a sleepover at a friend's place so she's free for the night >her apartment is quite nice >exchange numbers, keep texting >once I complain that the crackheads next door are fighting again, and she invites me over >she pulls the dog into another room so he won't try to eat me >f---, her kid is there, I have no idea what to do with kids >what if I show him how to make quesadillas from scratch >she just sits at the table, smiling while watching us cook >l end up coming over more often, even when my s----- neighbors are quiet >she's the most sensible woman I've ever met, saying if you have a problem, either you can do something to fix it or you can't, and either option, there's no use in complaining >the kid shows me minecraft OC drawings he's made, he's got a surprisingly good grasp of perspective and shading >the guard dog who hates men slowly grudgingly decides to make an exception of me >one day she calls me, with that voice like she's been laughing herself to tears >they were just shopping for clothes for the kid for the past 3 hours >they found everything he needed in the 1st hour, but he kept looking for something else from shop to shop for two hours before giving up >he was trying to find himself a leather jacket

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Anon is a hero | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/08/21 (Mon)18:28:51 No.846871295 i f----- up /b/ im scared >walking down the street to go to shop >hear loud painful howling sounds from a dog >walk towards sound into a park-like 8 KB JPG area >theres 2 teenagers throwing rocks at a dog >they are laughing their asses off >dog is trying to hide behind a trashcan in a laying position >feel EXTREME utter rage >have never in my 31 years of life on this planet felt so much anger >walk up behind the teenagers, they dont see me >punch one in the back of the head as hard as i can >kick the other one between the legs, also very hard >both fall to the ground >look at me in utter shuck >they walk away without saying a word >adrenaline still pumping >pet the dog, sit next to him for a few minutes then pick him up >carry him to a neighbour who lives 3 minutes away who has vet experiences >tell him found dog like this alone on the road they looked around 16-18+, how f----- am i if they go to the police? what should i do?

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Anon and the piss party | /r/Greentext

>Be me >Have a piss fetish >A fellow piss fetisher invites me to a piss party >"cmon Anon there will be a pool full of piss omfg there will be so much of it!" >Can't say no to that 462 KB JPG >When l'm there the piss for some reason repels from me >Mfw I'm the only one who can't enjoy it >Why have the piss gods cursed me?

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Anon discovers revolutionary image saving method at the expense of a relationship | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 02/08/21(Mon)06:54:18 No.846801710 File: 2943D6F6-8C0A-4F1D-BDB1-1(..).jpg (121 KB, 614x518) >> >>846797625 (OP) pepe story tiem >be me >be on /b/ in 2012 >pepe blowing up >see thread of rare pepes but computer is broken and so is cell >being the autist i am save as many as humanly possible to my gfs phone to email to myself for review later >she finds them later and flips out The relationship didn't end there but I feel that was the catalyst for our inevitable separation

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Anon prepares for the day | /r/Greentext

Me preparing for a long day of racism and antisemitism R: 158 / I: 48 Ismg/ - Stock Market General: Investing in white stocks edition

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