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"The Virgin Gallant" Easily asserts dominance over his group of Chad friends "The Chad Goofus" Always cucked by other boys on Valentine's Day: too timid to care Too much of a p---- to take what he gets for himself, always shares his oranges Stiff, robotic personality when communicating with adults Would steal things from his parents but his Mary Sue personality gets in the way Forceful yet calm when conversing with adults Never touches his library's Highlights magazine out of fear of damaging it Takes the last apple for himself Flails his arms around rapidly when holding sharp tools Mindless bootlicker, consistently follows the laws established by authority Makes nature his bitch; beats up forest animals to the point of trauma Has no idea what Has literally no desire to lead his group of fellow virgin friends at all "safety" is, will ride his sled into incoming traffic Brushes his teeth twice every day because his parents tell him to Goes onto video recordings with an entire orchard in his teeth Always makes sure that his scissors are pointing face down

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The Virgin Gallant vs the Chad Goofus


Uploaded by Nuggethead Jul 15, 2020 at 02:01PM EDT

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Origin Entry: Virgin vs. Chad

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA
Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all
Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon
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Uploaded Jul 15, 2020 at 02:01PM EDT

Origin Entry

Virgin vs. Chad

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Reddit

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virgin, chad, gallant, goofus, highlights magazine, goofus and gallant, highlights

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