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Is insecure with penis size and does not like people peeping Deathly afriad of pee-buddy adjacent to him Small to average sized penis hands firmly secured and controlling it Perfectly straight around penis, blocking Nervously scouts the area before going to release back tiptoes to Does not converse avoid pee puddles Attempt to attract the least amount of huma attention possible Tries to minimize urine splashbaclk Completely silent, utilizes the rim to minimize noise Uses furthest avaliable urinal if toilets aren't avaliable The Virgin Piss GRABS PEE-BUDDYS D--- MID-PISS HANDS FLAILING, PEES EVERYWHERE BUT IN THE URINAL HAS A MASSIVE D--- HE MAKES EVERYONE SIGN WITH A BLUE MARKER DOES NOT LOOK WHERE HE IS GOING, PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY TO GET TO THE URINAL HE WANTS BACK TWISTED IN UNNATURAL POSITION TALKS LOUDLY TO/EVERYONE PRESENT DELIBERATELY JUMPS INTO EVERY PUDDLE OF PEE HE FINDS TRIES TO PEE WITH THE HIGHEST AMOUNT OF NOISE POSSIBLE USUALLY USES MULTIPLE URINALS AT THE SAME TIME The Chad Piss

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Virgin Mars Colonisation -Thinks mars will someday turn out as friendly as Earth from future """terraforming projects"""""" Lives for like 1 year on mars before dying of bone cancer Thin, weak atmosphere -Temperature comparable to a cold day in wisconsin -Will literally never happen. -Elon Musk prob fooled you into thinking this is possible for attention -Barely restraining himself from depression caused suicide Chad Venus suicide mission -Accepts venus' eternal literal manifastation of hell. Can literally swim in the 90 bar air, how cool is that -Survives for like 9 minutes max before his space suit melts and space helmet cracks opencracks -Temperature comparable to sticking your head in a pizza oven. Huge rush of adrelinine and testosterone Can easily be done, only ethics are stopping NASA

Is literally a giant baby Reads books and uses big words like a true virgin The virgin Judge Holden Small size just makes his penis look bigger The Chad Glanton Is the leader, even the Judge must answer to him Hairless? That's kinda feminine bro Has sex with a retard and 12 year old girls Claims to be a judge, but never reveals what he's a judge of. Seriously what the hell is going on with that imbecile? Literally told the Judge to stop being a bitch and to get a new horse Last words are unfathomably based Can never go out in a blaze of glory because he can never die Probably isn't even real, just some kinda metaphor. What a cop out. Banned from returning to Texas probably because he had premarital sex with every woman in the state Keen strategist Zero redeeming qualities yet still loved by all

Self The virgin Zeus Centered f-- demons The one true god, Arceus Secretly allied to Cares for all living things ด Does not tolerate malice Mistreats his own family Allowed humans to be mean Finds excuses to do as he pleases Racist to those he call freaks A family man Encourages being nice and kind 100% pure, humble and truthful Friends to other races, even heroic digimon

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The Chad Feast

Only capable of eating if there are at least 50 people present. Eyes are incapable of seeing or comprehending any device invented after the 1950s Only eats in a pack with other chads Refuses to eat anywhere except for a restraunt. Back is perfectly straight and parallel with the table at all times Literally incapable of consuming food while alone. Constantly screeching as loudly as possible. Talks constantly with friends while eating, not even stopping to chew or swallow Uses telekenesis to lift food into his mouth, removing the need for arms Ambrosia, definitely not water. DANG Chest has takern on the shape of a funnel as a result of years of training Meal is an exact replica of the food pyramid Has never heard a song in his life

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The Virgin Meal

Prefers a quiet dinner instead of loud social interactions "The Virgin Meal'" Eye's fixated on eletronic device Eats alone Would rather order take-away or delivery as opposed to eating at a resturant Arched back, leans towards the table Uses mobile device to substitute eating and talking with friends stays silent Eats alone on weekends, public holidays and birthdays Uses adjacent arm to shovel food into mouth Soda, possibly water Junk food or leftovers instead of a nutritionally balanced meal Slight pot belly, is conscious of his weight but does nothing likes ambient music to drown out the silence

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Hair seems to overreact to wind "The Virgin Walk" Head craned forward Sometimes uses heaphones to escape potential conversation or mitigate agoraphobic symptoms Looks below parallel - Avoids eye contact, and looks away immediately Back slouched if accidental contact Perceives every oncoming face in his periphery as "looking at him Too polite, gives too much space for oncoming traffic But secretly hates people who walk slowly when side-by-side Stiff, straight arms Struggles to find Little arm movement comfortable hand form Might be too tense and rigid Bonus: Clothing is all neutral coloured Wears running shoes Only wears black coats Stands with a weird posture Is insecure about how he walks Walking pace/form lacks fluidity because he struggles to "autowalk" analogous to always manually breathing Walks too fast Compulsively needs to pass anyone walking slightly slower than him Long strides

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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin Piss vs. The Chad Piss

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Is insecure with penis size and does not like people peeping Deathly afriad of pee-buddy adjacent to him Small to average sized penis hands firmly secured and controlling it Perfectly straight around penis, blocking Nervously scouts the area before going to release back tiptoes to Does not converse avoid pee puddles Attempt to attract the least amount of huma attention possible Tries to minimize urine splashbaclk Completely silent, utilizes the rim to minimize noise Uses furthest avaliable urinal if toilets aren't avaliable The Virgin Piss GRABS PEE-BUDDYS D--- MID-PISS HANDS FLAILING, PEES EVERYWHERE BUT IN THE URINAL HAS A MASSIVE D--- HE MAKES EVERYONE SIGN WITH A BLUE MARKER DOES NOT LOOK WHERE HE IS GOING, PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY TO GET TO THE URINAL HE WANTS BACK TWISTED IN UNNATURAL POSITION TALKS LOUDLY TO/EVERYONE PRESENT DELIBERATELY JUMPS INTO EVERY PUDDLE OF PEE HE FINDS TRIES TO PEE WITH THE HIGHEST AMOUNT OF NOISE POSSIBLE USUALLY USES MULTIPLE URINALS AT THE SAME TIME The Chad Piss

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