When ur family gets on the chan | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

peer IIN4gGF77dRzD Wed Dec 18 14:00:50 2013 No.9938127 File: 11 KB, 250x100, 1387396850189.gif View same] [google] Quoted by: >9940029 >>9940053 >>9949163 >>9938151>9938175>>99381 93 >>9938216>>9938231>>9938261>>9938442 >>9938790>>9939365>9939400 smom knows I browse imageboards >start telling her about my day at school >she starts yelling "SAGE! SAGEr" sask her to please stop >she asks me why i am mad >tell her i'm not mad >she tells me i'm colon crusaded >just continue with my story >she keeps yelling "SAGE! SAGE! OP IS A F-----! DIDNT READI >my sister joins in my sister starts yelling "DESU DESU DESU DESu" >my dog walks into the room and starts howling >my mom reports him to my dad for derailing the thread smy dad puts the dog outside smy mom yells outside to the dog "ENJOY UR BAN F-----

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family 4chan troll

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Remember Jeff

Anonymous 03/31/12(Sat)00:19 No. 185218580D >Be 17 >Be 2005 >Be getting wisdom teeth removed >Waking up from anesthetic >Just laying on the dentists chair trying to sleep >Mom arrives, "Come on, Anon, it's time to go." >Mom and nurse have my arms over each of their shoulders and are carrying me out the back of the dentists office >As we pass under a fan I think it's the sound of chopper rotors >Ask nurse, "Is Jeff alright? I didn't see him after the ambush." >Nurse WATs hard >Grab nurse by both lapels >"WHERE THE F--- IS JEFF!" >She looks at my mom with confusion, "Jeff isn't here." >Begin crying, "OH F---, THEY F------ GOT JEFF, THOSE M------------!" >Mom and nurse carry a weeping 17 year old out the back of a dentist's office while he has flashbacks to a war he never fought in about a man he never knew I still am confused about what the hell I was thinking.

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Ballmaster

06/30/14(Mon)05:16:13 No.553960047 >At doctors >Getting my nuggets felt up because I had a pain >Female doctor Turns out fine, just epidydimitis >For some reason whenever I go to the docs I always feel I have to look smart >Throwing off medical jargon and referencing obscure bits of anatomy >S--- I must look hella booklearned >She says "Oh I suppose you were worried and did some of your own research" >Realize that if I admit to that I'm simultaneously admitting to being a little bitch and that all my knowledge was ad- hoc and wikipedia acquired >Say "No, I just know a lot about balls" >Cant remember what happened after that because my soul evacuated my body

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Jumporn

File: sca-pictures ipg (15 KB, 480x360) Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:05:25 No.708732231708732261 horror of pon! anything includes scary things about p---! i'll start Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:05:54 No. 708732261 File: scary-m 2-708732383 (19 KB, 348x256) >be me few years back >bored as s--- >hava an awesome idea, you know the maze-game up? immatrollafriend exe B60 at which if you touch the wall a scary image pops >download some HD top quality p--- with lesbians and double BJs >movie editor! OPENUP sinsert image (pic related) into middle of a nice scene >save it and upload to a few pornsites >start chatting with an a------ from my class "And what kind of p--- do you like anon >this is it send him a link to my "trap-video" >he keeps typing thats some good s--- anon >sleepy as f--- so go to sleep ?" next day >he doesn't show up in school >w--.jpg >teacher assigns me to visit him and give him the homework hismom answers the door hello mom of anon! is anon at home? i get his homework" "im sorry sweety, anon is in hospital" WHAT THE F---.GIF "hmm what happened to him?" >looks like the f----- was jerking furiously to my video and when the bitchface showed up he tore off his d--- and in hospital sa guy died of hearth attack a few months later on the same video >mfw i never get caught because no one will admit that they watched p--- how was your day /pol/? Anonymous 10/21/16(Fri)09:07:24 No.708732383 >MFW MFW the video is still out there somewhere lurking for prey

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Have a foot

Anonymous 10/15/12 (Mon)00:10 No.15227975 Replies: 1522799415228047 15228054 15228108 15228150 15228334 15228793 swork as nurse ambulance friend gets call about fat man in house having a heart attack or something go with him pull up to his house sas soon as i get out i gag from the smell >wall of putrid stench hits us and it's like that episode of spongebob where the smell of the ketchup and bean sundae incinerates patrick's eyebrows see what i think is a folded mattress or bean bag chair on the couch Srealize it's a human being She's naked and has a thin coating of crust on him sask if he's alive S"oog ee bah chan lah con han solo" stranslated from jaba to english he said yeah swe try to figure out how to roll him to the ambulance he won't fit through his own f------ door >we look for and find a sledge hammer and bash the sides of his doorway (it's a cheap ass wooden house) Proll him through, watching the edges s he takes up the entire f------ ambualnce back seat She tells me his foot has been hurting him for weeks try to find it, then i fiddled with it stryin to inspect his ankle i accidentally turn his foot 180 degrees Sall my wat >shocked i pull his foot away with my hand Shis foot slides off his bone like a f------ sock Sall of my fuckmedicalproffesionandthisplanet.png.dds.exe.txt.gif I blacked out after i realized i was holding a 30 lb. foot in my hand and his toxic odor hotboxed the vehicle

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Hamburglar

Anonymous (ID: JIFXcpb1) 04/07/13(Sun)20:41:11 UTC-4 No.471037740 Replies: 22471038158 22471043601 22471048060 >UKfag in mcdonalds >really drunk and stoned >order 20 cheeseburgers seat i think 9 >throw the rest one by one into the thronging crowd yelling I AM THE HAMBURGLAR AND IVE HAD A CHANGE OF HEART become mcdonalds hero >someone offers me a flask of whisky >throw up >£20 wasted

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Quick pick up game

Anonymous (ID: SA9TAPSF) 06/30/13(Sun)20:07:33 No.490295126 Replies: 4902954364902956642490296623490297450490297870 >be at work >suddenly walls fall down pick up walls >boss walks in >asks me why i'm holding walls >tell him walls fell down >boss takes walls >boss puts walls back >suddenly boss falls down >pick up boss Anonymous (ID: KQEZGnUV) 06/30/13(Sun)20:18:16 No.490296723 File: 1372637896089 ipg-(47 KB, 320x240, 4453.jpg) OP what the f--- >co-worker walks in asks me why i'm holding boss tell him boss fell down co-worker takes boss >co-worker sticks a massive d--- up his ass suddenly d--- falls down >pick up d--- >suddenly wife walks in >asks me why i'm holding d--- tell her d--- fell down >wife takes d--- >suddenly wife falls down >pick up wife >smash her f------ face in >suddenly face falls down >pick up d--- >stick in gaping whole where face was >suddenly gaping whole falls down >pick up gaping whole >gaping whole swallows me in another universe >suddenly another universe falls down in void >suddenly void falls down >boss walks in >picks up co-worker >smash his d--- in IDONT UNDERSTAND Anonymous (ID: WVYKA56F) 06/30/13(Sun)20:22:49 No.490297450 File: 1372638169286.gif-(1.21 MB, 320x240, 1366938151158.gif) Ladies and gentlemen, behold the pinnacle of English Literature □ Anonymous (ID: DsJKklma) 06/30/13(Sun)20:25:17 No.490297870 File -(426 KB, 533x609, Ive Seen Some S---.png) 27 □ Anonymous (ID: NEFcOCk3) 06/30/13(Sun)20:09:53 No.490295436 lolwut Anonymous (ID: dne3BDif) 06/30/13(Sun)20:11:34 No.490295664 wife falls down co-worker walks in >picks up co-worker suddenly boss falls down in another void never doing drugs again >249 What the f--- did I just read?

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Translator pls

Anonymous (ID: POlt+ycV) 06/26/12 (Tue)21:45:28 No.408630889 >Be 15 Me and Sri Lanken friend go get really f------ high sWe decide to go back to his place >His parents are home so we go to his room >He starts vomiting on the floor >His parents rush in >The don't know how to speak english so they're yelling at me in tamil or some other brown language dudewtfisgoingon They point at the vomit and then point at a mop Using my stoner logic, I assume they're telling me that I have vomit on my leg and should clean it with the mop Begin rubbing my leg with mop >Parents yell even more >Assume they're telling me that I should just go in their shower Proceed to enter shower still have the mop begin to take a shower with my clothes on while rubbing my leg with a mop >I decide to just leave >Find out the next day that his parents do speak english and they were yelling in english the whole time I've never been to his place again

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Typical /k/

>> O Anonymous 03/31/16(Thu)05:25:52 No. 29445825 2229448257 229449032 >send drones to kill /k/ >drone pilot sees fat naked man on a roof with nothing on but a steel helmet and gas mask She has a hunting rifle between his legs, and is rubbing his n------ >pilot steps back for a second to assess what he just witnessed >suddenly gets tackled >its a different naked fat man >he has a horse mask on >pulls some strange purple thing out from under his mask >its a dildo the size of a wine bottle >too shocked to do anything about the 300lbs of fat and acne laying ontop of him >by the time he realizes whats happening, theres a pair of cat ears on his head and a lot of pressure on his anus >meanwhile the drone is getting pelted with full rounds of .221r being volley fired out of shotguns war, war never changes.

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Sky dive

Anonymous (ID sYou suddenly realize your parachute has a malfunction and it won't open you have a mobile phone Senough time to make one call Who you gonna call and what would you say? +23 posis and 4 imiage replies omitted Click here to view >> ■ Anonymous (ID:ameen ) 08/07/14(Thu)20:24:34 No.561 113647 File: 1395018070785 ipg (52 KB, 364x537) >whip out cell phone call gf 'wwwwwwww0000000oowwwwoowowwowowOWo gf calls me a a------ thinking im just repeatedly blowing into the microphone like i usually do

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Mad Max

File: Aus png (460 KB, 720x733) Cops Called, Eggs Thrown At Hundreds Of Pokémon Go Players In Sydney Luke Punkot 07/13/16(Wed)19.33.17 No.344919409 3449 19524 >>344919802 >>3449 19920 >Some background: Rhodes is a suburb with a ton of high-density apartments, all clustered around the waterfront and a big IKEA/shopping mall. >When Pokémon Go was released last week, a combination of the high population density and a number of Pokestops in the suburb's Peg Paterson Park meant that it was one of the best (and most popular) places in all of Sydney to catch some pocket monsters > Massive crowds, sometimes peaking at over 1000 people, have flocked to the park, often late at night, and after a few evenings of this noise and bustle the residents of the apartment buildings overlooking the action have had enough. >On Tuesday night, things came to a head. Reports that at some residents -reacting to the "complete chaos, and "massive levels of noise,-started throwing waterbombs and eggs at the crowd >One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume, threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using whirlwind" attacks as some witnesses stated > The Mad Max aficionado's attacks sent panics through the crowd and a stampede ensued until police arrived to end the confrontation. In the end 36 Pokemon Go players were treated for lacerations and an additional 7 for injuries during the stampede. Why is this allowed? We just want to catch some Pokemon. Leave us alone, we're not hurting anyone Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed)19:34 26 No 344919524 344919939 2234492 1190 File: 1447025790919 ipg (117 KB, 996x868) One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using "whirlwind" attacks as some witnesses stated Au AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed)1939 14 № 34491 9987トー34492 1190 22344922661 File (1.02 MB, 1920x1080) >One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume, threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using whirlwind" attacks as some witnesses stated F------ Straya Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed) 19:44:47 No.344920479トー344921190 File: 1457221839917png (464 KB, 481x518) 344919409 (OP >he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using "whirlwind attacks as some witnesses stated Anonymous 07/13/16(Wed)19:45:33 No. 344920541 146631508 1633 png (694 KB, 640x480) トー44921199 >One resident, dressed in a Mad Max costume, threatened to fight the entire crowd. When the crowd called his bluff, he produced a broom wrapped in barb wire and launched himself into the crowd using whirlwind attacks as some witnesses stated. BASED Where were you when pokefags got BTFO?

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Tables turnt

rcmp high river.jpg (40 KB, 650x434) google iqdb □ Anonymous 1 day ago No.29725707 >>29725751 >>2972 >>29728046 >>29728080 >>29728303 >>29728353 >>29728608 >>29733820 >>29733892 >>29733958 >>29734517 >>29734577 >POLICE OPEN UP! WE DONT NEED A WARRANT! How do you respond? Anonymous 1 day ago No.29728046 >>29729331 >>29730698 >>29730892 no girls jpg (40 KB, 480x443) google iqdb >>29725707 (OP) >Grab gun and gear >Sneak out back door >Get to the back of their line >Wait for them to bust the door in >Once they all enter close the door behind them >Knock on the door and tell them to come out with their hands up My how the tables have turned.

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Big Booooooo

■ Anonymous 8 minutes ago No. 239834823 >>239835109 2239835110 239835339 2239835680 1378258795078.jpg (106 KB, 640x360) google igdb sounds >be 11 years old getting homy but i don't even know how to fap realize I could find t------ on the computer wait till nobody was home get on that s--- type "big boobs into google safe search is on or something so there's nothing good realize parents and sister will see what i searched in the history type big boo Ppress enter do it again but add anothero >do it until it fills the entire bar >whenever you type something into google you just see a big long line of >big booo000000 >big booo0000000 big b >big booo000000000 no one must find my secret

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Know Your Meme

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