Big Booooooo | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

■ Anonymous 8 minutes ago No. 239834823 >>239835109 2239835110 239835339 2239835680 1378258795078.jpg (106 KB, 640x360) google igdb sounds >be 11 years old getting homy but i don't even know how to fap realize I could find t------ on the computer wait till nobody was home get on that s--- type "big boobs into google safe search is on or something so there's nothing good realize parents and sister will see what i searched in the history type big boo Ppress enter do it again but add anothero >do it until it fills the entire bar >whenever you type something into google you just see a big long line of >big booo000000 >big booo0000000 big b >big booo000000000 no one must find my secret

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Good Trip

File: 1367265933378.jpg-(60 KB, 480x480, biohazard.jpg) G I :when shes starts bitchin, innawoods. anonymous 04/29/13(Mon)13:05:33 UTC-7 No.16054115 Replies: 160541662216054175 GF starts complaining about all the time and money and i spend on my guns, and on top of that started to say something jive s--- about a 100 mile road trip to see her folks. so....I RAN innawoods. This is the story of the sketchy operation >headed north to my favorite casual camp spot (not my innawoods hide away) >set up camp and was chillin cleanin my ak47 >Some straing individuals approached me inside my camp, but they had an abundance of beer soo....they seemed trustworthy >followed them to their camp > gorged my self on beer >20 Brewsters later... > dude starts pounding some chick > i yelled "get it before the government does >they did not approve of my comment. >die hard OBAMAO supporters > dude starts at me, while his friend and gf gran rope > I shouted "youll never take me alive you mooncricket assholes!" >began to sprint through the woods >.asshoes began throwing rocks > I drunkenly shout" My rocks fly faster!" and fired threes rounds > continued to run > lost them. >beer may have been laced with LSD >began hallucinating stripped out, stripped down to my naked glory and covered self in mud > paranoia set in >could not tell if campers were just campers, or SEAL team six in disguise >belly crawl through the woods >found a river. began belly crawling in the shallows down stream. Fuzzy memories >woke up 100 miles south east of my home under a railroad bridge in a nest made of sticks and leaves like a predatory bird, cuddling ak47 >mouth tasted like moss and mud >three days later finally made it home after hitch hiking >still dont know what happened to my truck or the seal team campers Anonymous 04/29/13(Mon)13:11:01 UTC-7 No. 1605416 P3 responsible gun owner

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Batweed

11 Smokey Mcbongwater Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:05:42 ESTIDKSc614v No.40714400 Δ File: 1327446342192.gif-(279481 B, 500x346) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size 甲Quick Reply sbe parkouring wearing batman costume because it's halloween, feels appropriate. find an alley that looks promising, decide to smoke a spliff while i plan out my route halfway done when someone taps on my shoulder, says 'excuse me >turn around, it's a cop. he says "i don't think the batman would break the law" panic for a second, then remembered the easy roof access. decide to ham it up and say in my best batman voice "then... you don't know the batman" corner jump up a wall, run along the top of a fence and leap upa building get to top of the building, look down. cop looks f------ baffled Phear him say into walkie talkie 'i think i caught the real batman smoking weed' a few months later, i bumped into the same cop on the street. he asks me to stop for a second, saying i look familiar, but can't place my face MFW the whole ordeal

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Wereshitposter

File: 1434893711298.png (85 KB, 361x333) ■ Anonymous 09/25/15(Fri)14:20:36 No.22629468 [Reply] >-226295142-22629521 who else /shitpostingenthusiast/ here? >got drunk yesterday >don't remember most of it >woke up with insane hangover >look at 11 hours of browser and event history >apparently I felt some waves of creativity >spammed Ir9k/, /pol, Ixl and /mu/ with idiotic comments >got in a huge inernet fight with some dude from baltic states while roleplaying as slav (I'm strayan) used switzerland, turkish and russian proxies >have a dozen of pictures of unknown people saved [wherever am i must also shitpost on my hard drive >wrote long ass greentext story about tf no gf, butchered it in half and posted the wall of nonsense >created at least 16 threads, 9 of them in /r9k/ >one had 300+ replies, rest had 5-10 "sang" a song for Imu/ >got globally m00ted for saying "ayy Imao" in Ix/ magick b------- thread >made a screenshot of ban >even tried to c------- >again, don't remember almost anything of it >mfw I'm wereshitposter page and named it "proud.jpg"

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WELL DO YAH PUNKS?

File: 4chanlololo245.ipg (34 KB, 251x407) ■ Anonymous 10/05/16 Wed 09:55:10 No.706595555 22708505748 >708505917 >>708596356 >>708596537 >>708596781 >>700596783 22708507013 22708507138 22708597297 22708508000 227066 >Be me, 6'5 280 lbs redneck 기 mean total redneck. Trump lovin', confederate flag wavin', gun totin", trailer livin' redneck Live 10 miles from nearest town, 2 miles from nearest neighbor >Sitting on beanbag chair in living room of double wide whilst eating a cherry popsicle and watching longmire on netflix, got a semi bc vic makes the spaghetti roll >hear car pull into driveway w-- jpg >Not only is this weird because of distance from town, it's also 3 AM ook out window >s----- 80's oldsmobile wagon pulled into yard >3 teens in full "scary" clown costumes step out >there's been a string of thefts on nearby farms, figure it's connected >Throw on a pair of jungle boots and cowboy hat, leaving the rest in the nude >Grab Draco AK pistol on the way out of door >Can see they are sneaking around by my other trailer (there is two on my property, use other one for storage but it has more lights on and looks more lived in) >Sneak up behind them >Jump behind the biggest one, whom I am a solid 7 inches taller than was gonna yell wanna die?" or "What the f---?" but brain went full autist and combined the two syell "wanna f---? >All three turn around to see a 6'5 overweight redneck wearing nothing but a cowboy hat and combat boots, carrying an AK, with lipstick-red lips that just asked them if they wanna f--- ook down and realize all the adrenaline turned the semi into a throbbing, precum-leaking full on >Never seen anyone run that fast in my life >mfw I'll bet they never try the clown prank again.

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Turd Toss

Anonymous 12/26/10(Sun)06:40:13 No.12626439 File1293363613 ipg-(35 KB, 730x590, 1287819309086.jpg) I have the worst story of all time >over at a friends house need to take a s--- really bad run to the toilet, his room is right next door to the bathroom ltake two monster size turds s flush, nothing happens bowl fills with water and s--- just stays there sit wont flush, I panic. I don't want anyone to come in and see the massive crap I just made sl open the bathroom window, reach into the bowl with my hands and grab the brown dildo sized s--- >l toss it out the window into the neighbours garden which is only like 2 meters away ssecond s--- goes flying over the wall as well there is no face for when I get back to his room and his window is open. >did you just throw crap next door? NOPE

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Farm Story

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes >Be 15 > Go to farm on after- school group's field trip >Want to be funny 19 KB JPG > Go to farmer "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded

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45mm

This is a Glock & Wesson 45mm FPO designed in 1789 by Colt Koch Anonymous 01/08/15(Thu)01:04:05 No.24256699 File. Dale-Earnhardt-23 lpg (68 KB, 550x468) 2224231958 45mm? H-------- d---- where can i find one of those? >Be chillin at the house Hear a crash Ohfuckrobbers.jpg Whip out my 45mm hand gun >Pray to Colt Koch >Sneak down stairs >see 2 m------------ carrying my tv not this time bitch fire at one of them >His chest explodes >demolishes tv he goes down >Other dude starts to run ofire three shots rapidly >first one knocks hole in wall the size of a baby >second hits the guys arm, it goes fliying off with an arch of blood >third hits his head, bullet goes through, taking his head with it -tears top half of my front door completely off >my arm is now broken in 8 places I can make my arm wiggle like my semi-flacid d--- >Have to go to hospital Shave to get new tv >have to get new wall >have to get new door >mfw it's all worth it

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Badda Bing

Anonymous 05/08/16(Sun)23:04:54 No 683368161 >be me >20 >walking around Brooklyn new to the city feel and opportunity come up >yell at the top of my lungs 6 KB JPG BADDA BING > some fat guy in a greasy tank top yells from his apartment window >BADDA BOOM >mfw

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Amazon Prime X

Anonymous No.703960114 20 minutes ago amazon >be me go on amazon to buy stainless steel popcorn machine (i love popcorn) add my s--- to cart see they have an upgrade to Amazon Prime called Amazon Prime X claims to deliver your order i 10 minutes or les:s think its b------- free trial so i use it anyway checkout 10 minutes go by think "i knew it was too good to be true" >Knock knock, open up the door, it's real With the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel >mfw X gonna give it to ya F--- waitin' for you to get it on your own >X gonna deliver to ya

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Family Weed

AnonymoUS No.623065567 4 minutes ago >be 23 >marry hot chick cougar who's husband died rebound sex was cray >she has daughter my age >my single dad thinks my wife's daughter is a fox >wtfdad.jpg they date for a few months and get married >my stepdaughter is now my stepmother >my father is my son in law w--.exe have kid with cougar wife >dad has kid with my stepdaughter my baby became a brother in law to dad >my baby is now my uncle >Jerry springer.PNG >my dad's kid is my sister and my stepdaughters baby thus my grandchild >my wife is my step-mothers mother who is now a grandma to my new half-sibling >I am married to my grandma >l am my own grandpa

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Faux German

0 Anonymous (ID: elZhTcQy) 09/13/12(Thu)13:28:57 No.424974196 Replies: 242 drunk thread be 19 >go to party at fire pit in woods >really dark out >speaking in german accent all night for no reason >am really drunk have full beard ive been workin on for like 4 months >drink 26er of captain morgans >start yelling all the german words i know at top of my lungs >everyone finds it funny >in german accent approach 8/10 chick with a s----- pick up line it works >grab her ass and make out with her for like 10-15 minutes >wander off talk to other people, still in accent >guy approaches me >says i made out with his girlfriend >ohshitwhathaveidone jpeg >sorry mein friend, i was not aware >this guy is really f----- drunk >I'm gonna kill you you stupid nazi f----- >your girlfriend did not think i vas a vaggot >takes a swing at me >side step him >grab thick wooden log >smash him on head with it >he falls down and smacks his face off a rock run away as i hear someone calling 911 >get home, shave beard >rest of summer everyone i know is talking about that bearded german guy and how theyre gonna beat his ass if they find him smfw

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D-d-double Kill

Anonymous (ID: IPha3kZp) 07/27/12(Fri)13:07:54 No.415034363 ITT: Bad first impressions > Went to girlfriend's house > First time meeting parents > Pull into driveway > I know she has a cat and a dog > Remember I have my laser pointer > excellent.png > Think I'm gonna make everyone's day by playing with the animals > All shall lol > Go inside > Hi, Hello, My name is Derp, I'm 19, etc. s Dog on couch s Cat walks into room > Shine laser pointer on floor > Cat leaps for it > Dog leaps for it > Dog attacks cat for whatever the f--- reason > Cat died > Dog has heart attack > Dog died > MFW I killed these people's beloved pets within five minutes of meeting them Anonymous (ID: UXOZV5xK) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:06 No.415034636 File: 1343409006753 jpg-(17 KB, 235x284, 1335247816033.jpg) mfw Anonymous (ID: tcTk5K3x) 07/27/12(Fri)13:10:07 No.415034640 B------- Anonymous (ID: CzW16lb) 07127/12(Fri)13:10:36 No.415034701 You're pretty much my hero right now

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Know Your Meme

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