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Greentext Stories - Image Gallery Page 10

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Anon joins the Army | /r/Greentext

>Be me in army >mandatory in my s----- country >first time we noob soldiers fire our guns >we lay in the ground and get ready 108 KB JPG >drill instructor yells "are you ready?" >i yell back "ai ai captain" >random guy two rows away yells "i cant hear you" >drill instructor mad and tries to find out who mocked him >i yell again "O0000000" >random guy shots a rock 10 meters in front of him from laughter ( the target was 300 meter away) >dust rises up and one general runs and screams at drill instructor >we march back to camp 10 kilometers instead of driving >i am attending the "i cant hear you" guy wedding next week

Anon is the fresh prince of Zaire | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)23:25:31 No.848330977 >In west Somalia born and raised, in the jungle is whereI spend most of my days, skinnying out minimising, starving all cool, shootin up sailors outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good, started spreading ebola to my neighbourhood, I got one little cough and my mom got scared and said “you're moving to your 7 KB JPG aunties and uncles in Zaire" >l whistled for a dear and when it came near the dear wasn't fresh and had lice in its ear, if anything I can say this dear was rare but but I thought Allah forget it, yo homes to Zaire. >l pulled, up to the shack about 7 or 8 and yelled to the dear yo homes smell you later, looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Zaire

Anon found his sister's diary | /r/Greentext

File: 1283774452.png (221 KB, 274x427) Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:46:00 No.848334377 >>848334688 >>848334909 NSONAN my sister died and i found her diary, how much would it cost to publish it as a book for simps to read or should i just chuck it in the bin? Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:52:01 No.848334636 >>848335185 Scan the pages and upload them in as a slide show to youtube. You probably wouldn't make much money from publishing and the social ramifications could easily outway the profits. Uploading to youtube could probably earn a little bit of change in ads and you could also keep some anonymity if done right. Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:53:28 No.848334688 >>848335185 >>848334377 (OP) post some highlights here Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:56:59 No.848334837 ► >>848335185 How long is it? Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)14:58:46 No.848334909 >>848335185 >>848334377 (OP) If you're not trying to make money off it you can just scan the pages and upload it on the internet Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)15:04:29 No.848335185 File: 1298398398494..png (177 KB, 360x334) >>848335366 >>848335865 >>848335868 >>848334636 >>848334688 >>848334837 >>848334909 haha you guys fell for it, i don't even have a sister and all my other family is already dead lol Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)15:08:17 No.848335366 >>848335185 Well done you really tricked everyone! Have a lovely day and enjoy masturbating over this when you think about it later.

Anon does meth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)07:16:13 No.848279473 >orderd really good darkweb meth >1 day of being high + 2 days at a hotel by myself >went full paranoid schizo the 2nd day, couldnt help but think some1 going to bust in my room, 95 KB JPG >3rd day, super tired, got high even more, hallucinated about showering w/ another guy, turned out it was real except i was talking to myself >f----- myself anally w/ 2 dildos, one monster chode and a 14" >mind melting orgasm, coom'd a stream w/ my 15mm shrink d--- >high gets even more intense, eyes are pitch black >realized my shower dream was actually real & it only 30min has passed >freaked out and call my gf to take me home Think i'm done with meth for now... I can't believe I lost my mind. I know the hotel neighbors had to have heard me, like 2 families with kids. Pretty sure they heard me accidentally blast p---- really loud in the middle of the night and heard me moaning/talking hard in the shower. LOL.

Anons take on modern solutions | /r/Greentext

E Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)10:11:40 No.848262376 >find a phone in the uni bathroom >requires Face ID to unlock >throw it in the toilet 645 KB PNG

Anon LARPS as driver | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Times you acted like the drive(...) 02/25/21(Thu)20:45:21 No.147168561 >Buy a 500 toothpick bag at the, some antifreeze and gloves at the gas station >Cashier girl asks 'would you like a bag?' after l've paid >Stare her down until I walk out 23 KB JPG >Circle the block a few times >Walk back in >Walk up to her ..sure' I'M GIVING YOU A NIGHT CALL

Anon is thrilled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:59:05 No.848296090 >be me >movie theater, 2018 >going with some friends to see the latest action movie >on the walk in, i see some really sketchy guy hanging around the entrance >put it in the back of my mind, it's 375 KB JPG probably nothing >grab our snacks and sit down for the previews >about a minute after we sit down, the lights get killed suddenly whatthefuck.jpg >the screen goes red >i see the guy from outside walk in front of the screen >everyone is s------- themselves, friends are flipping out >this m----------- starts dancing while zombies start eating people >they've got the funk of 40,000 years on them >rip the arm off my chair and start beating these undead f---- >fighting for my life inside a >killer >thriller >toniiiight

Anon is tired | /r/Greentext

>be 16 yo me >things getting sexy with boyfriend >really have to pee but things are so in the moment >start f------ like normal >at one point he's angled really far up against my bladder >one strong thrust and a short burst of piss comes out >he thinks he made me squirt and tries to do it every time because he thinks it's hot >5 years later meet qt boy, get along really well >around 3 months into dating he asks if i've ever squirted >"Uhhhh yeah my ex used to angle himself really far forward" >he spends like 40 mins trying the "come hither motion" >still don't know how to not be weird, i know i should just say it's just piss >eventually I just piss hard in intervals for a few seconds >now he almost exclusively fingers me and never actually f---- me because "he's into pleasuring me" this has been going on for almost a year. I'm so f------ tired of washing towels and bedsheets every day or two. I feel bad about lying but I didn't think it would go this far. He never touches my clit

Anon is jacked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/25/21(Thu)15:15:13 No.60042703 >am jacked >tell everyone who asks I don't work out 13 KB JPG

Anon gets bullied | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/21(Fri)11:57:36 No.62506129 Anyone got any good stories there parents told them about high school? I'll go first. >mom tells me about this asian kid in her school 243 KB JPG >he was a very quiet and nice kid, never hurt a fly >group of people always bully him >kid never talked or tried to fight back >they continued to bully the kid for weeks >one day they spit gum in his hair >kid gets up and leaves to use bathroom and to make a phone call >fast forward to after school >my mom and her brother are outside talking >kid is getting bullied >van pulls up and kid laughs >group of asian's get out of van >few have baseball bat's >start beating on the guys in the group as the girls scream >few girls try and stop the asians but they get bitch slapped or elbowed in the face >mom says that her and her brother just watched with there jaws dropped >guy bullies lay on floor while girls continue to scream and cry >van drives away with the group of asians >asian kid never got bullied >yakuza 1, bullies 0

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