My vote goes to Survivorman. Why? Three reasons.
1. Bear Grylls goes out with a camera crew. What a wuss.
2. Les Stroud (a.k.a. Survivorman) actually shows you what to do in a dire survival situation. He doesn't just trump around the forest acting like some FUNing idiot proclaiming how FUNing great he is that he can survive in the wild. And then eat a bunch of bugs. Yeah, Grylls. Like I didn't already know that.
3. Survivorman's a FUNing badBUTT. I mean, just look at that STUFF. He looks like he's going to HUG your mother and your sister in the same night. HECK yeah.