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ifyou!augh-little-stu gerardwaye: doctor: so what is bothering u me: *stares aggressively at mom & waits for her to answer for me Source: gerardwaye 200,835 notes

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doctors staring

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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Just erase everything from the past few years

iahfy internalized-misogyny。 writesinsnotfanfiction: burns every piece of evidence that shows i lived before the age of 14 660,259 notes

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The worst is when the pen runs out in the beginning of the day. Or when you drop a pen and someone goes to pick it up and you think, "Oh that's very nice of them." And they just keep it.

iahfy-internalized-misogyny。 avocavo: turn on: a very nice pen with an even flow of ink Source: avocavo 138,570 notes

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pink horn rhino

takepart.com Pink Poison, the Surprising New Trend That's Saving Rhinos> Rhino experts discuss a bright approach to keeping poachers away. lalna shewillpunchyouintheface fluffmugger 1) Does not hurt rhinos 2) Discolours ivory (BRIGHT PINK) thus reducing saleability 3) Can be detected by airport scanners, even if ground up, thus increasing the chances you will be caught 4) Causes nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea if ingested by humans, thus driving away your customer base Win. Win. Win. Win 5) makes rhinos look adorable & fashionable

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Backup Plans

ifyoulaugh tinytiddies dennys college is, like, really important. but if you don't do well, remember you can still get paid to run a tumblr for a restaurant. Source: dennys 46,077 notes

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Remember to always send mixed messages

ahfy nikoniko808 decepticons acts like a freak and flirts with u in the text messages* acts mean and roasts u all the time when we together in person* Source: anywaysimcute 202,872 notes

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"This is good, isn't it?"

iahfy ruinedchildhood breakingbag my last words are probably going to be 'wait what' Source: breakingbag 487,944 notes

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Is this how Boruto was born?

ahfysamapitongzabala+ unfriendlyasiangirl unfriendlyasiangirl what if i put vodka in my ramern don't do this 109,699 notes

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Wait a minute...

wojtekghostcannibal-husbands Source: thesassycat thesassycat: thesassycat: thesassycat thesassycat I was so sleep deprived the other day that I tried to zoom in on a paper w-- I just made that post oh wait that is my post I havent slept in 2 days 303,653 notes imguir.conm

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T͕̜H̺͜E̠͕̦͖̞ ̬̠A͚̭̺͈͕̯͈N̨͈̦͖͎͖T̪̦̻̰̟I͔͠ͅC͖̼͍̤̤H̪͖̰͟R̳͕̰̯̝̕I̖̬̼̞͘S͓T̖ ͖̲͟H̝̝̱̼̘͝AS̤̱̩̻̪͕ͅ ̷̻͖C̼̫̮̹̪͙̕ͅO͉̫͕̱M̨̦̪͔̩̭E

FUN FACT: forgofamily: stylesnjh stylesnjh i was born on friday the 13th and i weighed 6 pounds 6.6 ounces nice- I FOUND MY BIRTH RECORD SEE This is tc ceetity that n welstwdL.nn.LLcz, and was whi.tn The Women's Center MY MOM LITERALLY TOLD ME THAT SHE FCKING TOLD THE NURSE IF CREEPY S--- STARTED HAPPENING IN HER HOSPITAL ROOM SHE WAS GONNA GIVE ME UP FOR ADOPTION Are you missing a toe

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Freeways and Math Equations

does anyone else occasionally have that dream where they're suddenly driving on a hugely interconnected freeway and then you hit a jump ramp and then suddenly all hell breaks loose and the stars are now math equations #dream #freeway

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terrific

shortsistahuskdawgzilla+ smallhonkfriend person: how is your mental state? me Source: godsliquorcabi... 190,016 notes

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Who Should You Fight: Animators Edition

Who Should You Fight: Animators Edition steveholtvstheuniver Genndy Tartakousky (Creator of Dexter's Lab) Who Wins: No One Genndy's family fled from f-----' Moscow. His dad died when he was a kid, his mom died of cancer shortly after college. Dude's had arough life and here he comes along with Dexter's Lab and Samurai Jack. Please don't fight Genndy Jhonen Vasquez (Creator of Invader Zim,) Who Wins: You (And Jhonen technically) Dude tried to move on after years of dealing with the Hot Topic induced hurricane that was the Invader Zim fanbase. Unfortunately, the recent comic series says otherwise and there are plans for a series comeback. At this point he will beg you for the sweet release of death Lauren Faust (Creator of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic) Who Wins: Lauren Fighting Lauren herself would prove to be a challenge all on it's own Girl's been through some s--- and she doesn't back down lightly. That said though, in the thin sliver of a chance that you D0 manage to beat Lauren there's still her fanbase to deal with. Avoid Brony hell, do NOT fight Lauren Faust. Craig McCracken (Creator of Powerpuff Girls) Who Wins: Lauren The f--- I told you about fighting Lauren Faust? S--- goes double for fighting her husband. Stay away from these two. I repeat: STAY AWAY FROM THEM Pendleton Ward (Creator of Adventure Time) Who Wins: No One Not only is he the chillest m----------- in animation right now but the dude's literally a big ol' teddy bear. While it really wouldn't take much to beat up Pen, would you really want to, man? Seth MacFarlane (Creator of Family Guy) Who Wins: Evervone Every animator on this list will thank you. Well, most people will thank you. In fact, I think in the long run the entire world will thank you Please, go fight Seth MacFarlane Matt Groening (Creator of The Simpsons) Who Wins: You (And Matt technically) See above: Jhonen Vasquez. Alex Hirsch (Creator of Gravity Falls) Who Wins: Alex No one knows where Alex came from. Some rumor that he emerged from the deepest, darkest woods only to animate. The dude's weird but not in a charming "dude's a bit goofy" way but in a "we swear his shadow laughs at us" way. Do not approach Alex Hirsch. AVOID ALL CONTACT WITH ALEX HIRSCH Dan Povenmire (Co-Creator of Phineas and Ferb) Who Wins: You Dan's a werid dude but not Alex Hirsch weird so he's not gonna pull any stunts. We're uncertain but we're pretty sure his brief stint with Family Guy and dealing with Disney on such a huge product has greatly weakened whatever power he may have had. Go on an fight Dan, you can take im Natasha Allegri (Creator of Bee and Puppycat) Who Wins: You In all honesty it's a miracle some papercut didn't do away with Natasha years ago. While her work is cute, sweet, and fluffy, so is her fighting style. In fact, we're pretty surejust a small punch on her arm will win you this fight. Rebecca Sugar (Creator of Steven Universe) Who Wins: No One Why in the f--- would you fight Rebecca Sugar

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Tumblr - Can you order food for me too?

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ifyou!augh-little-stu gerardwaye: doctor: so what is bothering u me: *stares aggressively at mom & waits for her to answer for me Source: gerardwaye 200,835 notes

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